Can't get dh to budget

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 6:45 pm

Dh hasn't been making much money recently so all falling on me. His cc this month was 2x my monthly salary. It's all regular stuff like contacts and expensive dental appts and his therapy and some things he thought he needed and and and and and I almost had a heart attack when I saw it leave my account. We have separate ccs but one account and I asked him if I could go through his statement to see what the hell he bought this month and then told him he's in charge of finances from now on cuz I can't do it anymore. I know not bringing in money is hard for him but we're pretty much living off savings besides my paycheck paying the mortgage and tuition. Is it wrong that I'm upset? Is it wrong that I'm finally pushing some responsibility on him? Idk what to do.

Cheiny ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 9:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course you’re not wrong to be upset! How does he justify spending that kind of money while he’s hardly bringing in anything, and he’s paying out double what you’re bringing in?

It’s not a solution and would be counterproductive to put him in charge of the finances when he’s so clearly irresponsible.

His cc shouldn’t be used until he can show some control and responsibility, is bringing in more money… you should not be paying for his expenses that are made irresponsibly. He has to learn the lesson.

↑ Cheiny

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 9:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Take away his cc? Is he my child? That's not how life works. He used to make a ton of money but business is really bad. Not his fault. Just hard to figure out how to speak to him about it

He’s not a child, that's the point, but he’s spending irresponsibly like one.
A responsible adult realizes they shouldn’t be outspending what comes in by 2 to 1.

Tell him to stop using the card and to pay only with cash that is on hand.
And yes, he should be doing more to find work and increase the income. He’s still spending like he’s making a lot of money.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 9:14 pm

So we spoke and I told him he's spending like we still have money now the question is how much to give him per week/month? I cover mortgage and tuition and we have BH food that's it. BH no car payments but how much should I tell him to spend? Everything we spend beyond that is coming from savings that are dwindling fast! I'm at my wits end trying to figure this out