Do some people not share their due date?

amother

Raspberry ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:21 pm

My sil makes up random things and tells people in the family "December" then "no I said february." "Really it's january" pretty sure she's off so I just don't ask her anymore

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:26 pm

No don't share my due date with anyone.
I'm due pesach time, December time, summer vacation time - give them a ballpark to satisfy their curiosity.
Don't need anyone on my back as due date approaches and especially when it passes.
Unless they're my obgyn, they really don't need to know.

amother

Milk

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:32 pm

If im due at the end or middle of a month, I'll just say the month but if im due at the beginning I make sure to specify that im due the beginning of the month

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:35 pm

In my circles it’s not shared. Not my friends or family we just say approximate timing like many posters said above.
Exact due date is being nosy in my opinion. What’s your business? You’re not my dr or doula and even someone who offered to take a kid from me doesn’t ask exact date. Honestly many ppl dont have on their due date anyway.

amother

Rainbow ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:35 pm

I understand that people might not want to give the exact date… but whatever you do… don’t do what my sister in law did.

She was talking to me about her pregnancy so I said when are you due… she could’ve given an approximate or said she didn’t want to answer but instead she told me august…(it seemed strange because she looked to be much further along but I didn’t think much of it…I’m not a yenta type so I didn’t really care about it…) At the end of April, her daughter told my daughter that her mother is due in beginning of may and she had the baby in may. So she told me she is due in august which is 3 months after her actual due date… so weird… not the first time she lied about such obvious things… but this is something that will come out eventually… did come out … 3 months early lol… 🙄 baby was full term.

amother

↑ Rainbow ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:37 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

My sil makes up random things and tells people in the family "December" then "no I said february." "Really it's january" pretty sure she's off so I just don't ask her anymore

l

Sounds like we might be sharing a sister in law 😂

amother

↑ Dill ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:38 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

She did not need to tell you anything. You shouldn't ask her. She was probably uncomfortable and did not know what to do. It's understandable.

Ema of 5 ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

I get that many people don't share the gender, even if they do find out. but have you ever heard of people not sharing the due date? someone was snarky to me when I asked what I thought was an innocent and common question.

I don’t. I share a general time- after Pesach, end of summer, etc.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:42 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

My sil makes up random things and tells people in the family "December" then "no I said february." "Really it's january" pretty sure she's off so I just don't ask her anymore

Maybe that’s just her way of not sharing? Doesn’t seem so off to me. It seems more like someone who doesn’t want others to know.

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 4:49 pm

Ema of 5 wrote:

Maybe that’s just her way of not sharing? Doesn’t seem so off to me. It seems more like someone who doesn’t want others to know.

Maybe you have to be there to see how off it is lol she does the same thing to my in laws.

amother

Sage

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

Chiming in as another person who doesn't share her due date but rather the approximate timing. I think I am more surprised that it took you this long to come across this (in my circles, very common!) behavior.

amother

↑ Rainbow

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:14 pm

amother Dill wrote:

She did not need to tell you anything. You shouldn't ask her. She was probably uncomfortable and did not know what to do. It's understandable.

You’d be right if she would respect my privacy as well. But she gossips about the whole world at the shabbos table with guests… always grilled me about my due dates and finances etc…

So when she told me she was pregnant and looked like she was in the 6 month I replied the same way she had done to me..

But that’s how she is. Her daughter will beg my daughter to tell her what mark she got and then when my daughter asks in return what did you get, she says I don’t say.

Some people are just weird. Don’t do unto others what you don’t want done to you. So if you don’t want to say, then don’t ask others.

This one is a pathological liar in many areas.. this particular lie was funny because you can give an approximate and be off by a month but by an entire trimester just made her look like a clown. In my opinion.

Edited

amother

Floralwhite ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:19 pm

amother Banana wrote:

It was a boy, and yes!
We share a birthday:)
And if anyone is curious on the statistics of it, it’s a .012% chance, or 1 in 8,230!

Interestingly enough with 365 days in a year and the small percentage it’s actually extremely common for a parent to share with a child or a grandparent to share with a child. In my family alone there are quite a few and I know a bunch of others.

amother

↑ Floralwhite

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:20 pm

I absolutely share and don’t get the point in it being so secretive. A due date is not a binding contract and many babies are born before or after their due dates.

amother

Feverfew

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:21 pm

Wow, didn't know it was a thing to consider due dates private! Now I'm wondering should I be embarrassed I told my yeshivish (female) boss my exact due date?? I had no clue that in some circles it's private info! So curious as to why. I get the pressuring thing so Im not questioning that, but I'm wondering why it would be private? Is it because it's calculated based on conception which is hinting that you conceived?

amother

↑ Dill

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:24 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

I hear. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

amother

Wheat

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:34 pm

Many people don't, for various reasons, including not wanting to be noodged by everyone and her aunt as the date approaches, and even more so if the date passes.

It is a rather personal question and truly none of your business unless you're expecting to host the woman or family members at the time of birth or shortly thereafter. (Like if you're going to take her kids or she's coming to you for kimpatorin care) Otherwise you have no need to know.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:41 pm

I don’t share my due date.

People are - let’s call it intelligent? Lol…

I watched a neighbor share her due date, she said she’s due after yom Tov… before sukkos people were pestering her if she’s still around - because you can have early - mind you she was due in November.

Someone else was carrying very small and someone told me “it looks like Rivky can’t move anymore…” when if I wouldn’t have known she’s due already I would think she’s around 20 weeks…

There are so many people who call and “check in” on me from my first day of my ninth. PSA: when I get to my ninth month I’m not interested in being pregnant anymore either. You don’t have to call me to remind me I’m still pregnant- I promise I didn’t forget…

I can go on and on and on…

amother

Sunflower ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 5:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

I am pregnant now and I don’t tell anyone. I don’t remember what I did last time, I probably shared, because my mom was surprised I didn’t share my due date or the gender this time. I don’t care though, our relationship is not amazing and there is no practical reason for anyone to know. I also don’t want too many questions around the due date (which my mom would ask).