Family First: A Loan Repaid

amother

↑ Razzmatazz

Yesterday at 11:46 pm

Maryann wrote:

I'm missing something you Saud ut was maaser??

It was at a point that a little less than half was actually from our maaser/chomesh and we expected more money to come in. Honestly at that time it was a an amount that if life would've continued as it was going, we would've been "even" in maaser very quickly. Hashem obviously had other plans and almost a year later I'm still cheshboning maaser and chomesh from that amount. I would never ever ask for a dime back because like I said, we told them it wasn't a loan.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Today at 12:00 am

I don't think the story was real. Besides, who are we to judge if a Rav already paskened.
I still can't get over the story from October of irresponsible parents demanding thousands from their cash strapped frugal married children....remember that one?

amother

Bottlebrush

Today at 12:20 am

Even if the narrator assumed it was not meant to be repaid. Once the friend called and asked for the money back, who in their right mind would then refuse to repay it? So far as to get a Rav involved? Wasn’t she embarrassed??? Just find a way to pay the money if someone who helped you graciously for years is now asking you for it!! She could’ve just said that it’s hard to get the money together on short notice and work together on a slower payment plan.

amother

Babypink

Today at 12:33 am

One thing I took away from the story was how calmly and easily they both agreed to speak to a Rav together. I was impressed with both of them for that.

amother

↑ Azalea

Today at 12:33 am

amother Cognac wrote:

We actually went through a period of time that we couldn't afford it. My son needed root canals and was in constant pain. Didn't make it a luxury... it's just horrible that this can happen in a first world country. I'm now staying at a job where I'm not happy only because of the dental insurance.

I don’t consider kids dental work a luxury, neither does my health insurance (they cover it up to 19)

I’m talking about for an adult, and a non emergency

amother

Seafoam

Today at 1:26 am

Regardless of who was right and who was wrong, that relationship slipped out of the friendship zone many years before this story happened. I feel bad for the 'had it together' women who did not realize that this was a one sided relationship for a very long time.

amother

Pewter

Today at 9:47 am

amother Cognac wrote:

Did anybody else feel sad to realize that women are stuck in the life they are born into? It's like, you're born into the wrong family, your life will always be awful.

I'm curious, what makes you say that? I was definitely born into the 'wrong' family, I picked myself up by the bootstraps, made a life for myself(while post-sem and single but I worked on this my whole life), married an amazing guy who isn't wealthy but I'm a lot more comfortable than when I was growing up.

amother

Bisque ↓

Today at 10:49 am

amother Amaranthus wrote:

I actually feel differently than most.

Sounds like she earned a nice wage in general, there's no reason this couldn't have been her ma'aser. 4K over many years was a negligible amount of her ma'aser money. And she was the one who mentioned ma'aser originally.

I understand if she wouldn't want to lend any more money, but she should have forgiven this amount, especially given it was a misunderstanding.

Totally agree. We didn’t hear Miris side but I feel very bad for this woman

amother

Lightblue ↓

Today at 10:57 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Omg
Made my blood boil!

amother

↑ Chicory

Today at 11:48 am

small bean wrote:

The story must've changed a lot of details because $150 a month can't be the make it or break it for someone

Yes, that's another reason the story was weak. 4k, paid out in $250 monthly increments as first requested, wasn't going to be the make it or break it for that other family. I'm guessing the author kept it to a smallish amount because if it was really big, like 20k, there'd automatically be stronger feelings for one or the other because it's on a very different playing field when you are discussing thousands per month, instead of one or two hundred. It was like the story was trying to be another "double take" where the stakes aren't high enough that it's completely tilted towards one character, but it just didn't quite work with the amounts used.

amother

Arcticblue

Today at 11:58 am

amother Azalea wrote:

Good for you that you can afford it then

Me being able to afford something doesn't make it a luxury just because you can't afford it. If I can buy myself new clothes from Walmart and you (not personally you) get your clothes from a gemach, are Walmart clothes a luxury?

A root canal is not a luxury. A roof over your head is not a luxury. It is heartbreaking that there are people who can't afford either of these.

amother

↑ Mustard ↓

Today at 12:16 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Haha I made a post about that one. It was wild!

amother

Yellow ↓

Today at 12:23 pm

Entitlement? Really?

A single mom of 4 babies being asked to repay 4 thousand dollars that was borrowed over the course of years from a stable financially secure couple who have plenty of family support and resources.

Wow. I did not read it that way.

amother

Nutmeg

Today at 12:24 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

Good for you that you can afford it then

Maybe both are true. I can’t afford dental work. And it’s not a luxury. It’s a bit of a sad situation.

amother

↑ Yellow ↓

Today at 12:26 pm

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

A single mother of 4 small kids with no family support is not a regular capable person.

amother

Almond ↓

Today at 12:30 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

Me neither I was shocked to read this thread. While I feel for Miri , if she really was in such a right spot she shouldn’t have continued sending money and should have said years ago that I can’t send without a solid payment plan or something,

amother

↑ Yellow

Today at 12:30 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

Did anybody else feel sad to realize that women are stuck in the life they are born into? It's like, you're born into the wrong family, your life will always be awful.

Not true. I was raised in a house of horrors and married a good guy, got good jobs and are raising a wonderful stable secure family. You can absolutely overcome your past.

amother

↑ Almond

Today at 12:55 pm

amother Almond wrote:

Me neither I was shocked to read this thread. While I feel for Miri , if she really was in such a tight spot she shouldn’t have continued sending money and should have said years ago that I can’t send without a solid payment plan or something,

amother

Lightgreen

Today at 1:40 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

I still can't get over the story from October of irresponsible parents demanding thousands from their cash strapped frugal married children....remember that one?

Can you link to that story? I didn't read all the sukkos magazines because there was too much to read and it was too busy Smile

Or was that in the Ami living...