Holding back first grade dd

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 9:21 pm

My dd is the youngest in her class which was fine in preschool. Now in first grade the gap is widening and she is struggling academically which I worry will only get worse. Is it too late though, if I was going to hold her back I should have done it earlier? I don’t want to traumatize her obviously.

amother

Cantaloupe ↓

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 9:37 pm

my sister was held back first grade. no long term truama but she def rememers the rest of the girls moving on and her not.

Tzutzie

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 9:39 pm

Everything depends on how you handle it.
If she's the youngest and struggling, then keeping her back could be very good for her.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 9:54 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

Everything depends on how you handle it.
If she's the youngest and struggling, then keeping her back could be very good for her.

Is there a way to do it without her feeling bad about friends moving on without her?

amother

↑ Cantaloupe

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 10:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is there a way to do it without her feeling bad about friends moving on without her?

pumping her up that she will be the oldest and not youngest....younger grade really her grade as she fits there best

amother

Kiwi

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 10:13 pm

Hard call. I remember being in second grade and seeing my former classmate still in first grade. Unfortunately there were girls in my class who constantly teased her when they saw her in the hallways Sad

oohlala

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 10:27 pm

It could work if you switch her school.
If she is struggling it could be an idea to get her evaluated to see what the issues are. Holding back isn’t always an answer.

Molly Weasley ↓

Wed, Dec 18 2024, 10:48 pm

oohlala wrote:

It could work if you switch her school.
If she is struggling it could be an idea to get her evaluated to see what the issues are. Holding back isn’t always an answer.

I agree with this. Best as if you can switch schools and have her stay back in that new school.
Otherwise besides the academic portion, you have to consider her feelings of being constantly reminded that she was left back

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 1:54 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

Right I was thinking about that, but I am concerned that even in a new school she will know she is repeating a grade and feel bad. On the other hand falling behind your class with academics can also make you feel bad. I feel so bad for her.

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 2:01 am

amother OP wrote:

I wouldn't worry to much about that.

You can honestly tell her that grades vary between schools, and the most important aspect of the switch is that she will be with girls her age.

Besides, being one of the oldest in a class has many advantages.

amother

RosePink

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 2:06 am

In what way is she falling behind?
Emotionally which level is she on?

They are seeing now that keeping children down is not as helpful as they thought it used to be, often it's just setting the child up to rely on being taught everything twice to understand and they are only repeating one yr so what will happen the next yr when they aren't managing academically.
Can you get her a tutor now either private or through the school to help her with skills to learn.

↑ Molly Weasley

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 2:07 am

amother RosePink wrote:

I don't know what research you're referring to, but in this case, her daughter is literally the youngest in the class.

camp123

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 2:10 am

I would do it if she is far behind academically. She may feel bad for that year, but in the long term she'll do better, it's will be a blip in her life when she's older.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 10:08 am

Does her school have a psychologist on staff who can weigh in, knowing the specifics of the school social dynamics wise, academic pressure wise and can observe your daughter, maybe give a perfunctory evaluation? I think that would be much more helpful than asking all of us on here who don't really know the individual circumstances 😃

amother

Cappuccino

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 5:00 pm

Does the school have parallel classes? It's probably an easier switch if she doesn't repeat the grade with the same teachers.

If you do repeat, maybe you can introduce her to some of her future classmates over the summer so she doesn't start first grade without any friends.

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 1:55 am

amother Firethorn wrote:

How is she socially? What do her teachers think?

Socially she’s pretty good. They have expressed concerns about her academics but nothing official. I’m just worrying.