Is this gifted? Wwyd?

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:05 pm

My son just turned 7. When we applied to school, they told us his birthday was 2 days past their cutoff, so he is in 1st grade. We considered fighting with them at the time but we had no idea how he would do socially. Meanwhile, he is fine socially and plays most with older kids when not in school.

He seems to be coasting through school. He is good at math, his class his doing +1, +2 and he can do simple multiplication in his head. He was always a couple of steps ahead in reading, knowing abc when he was 3 or 4 without being taught (his school teaches abc in pre1a), figuring out cvc words without ever having to sound them out, knows sight words by heart without practice. We actively prevented him from learning more reading despite being obviously ready to keep him from being too far ahead. Until very recently he knew his chumash without review, but lately they seem to be doing less chumash in school and pesukim are longer so he does need to review. However there are no tests so it's still not more than 5 min of homework a day for Hebrew. And since he does math ahead, knows sight words, English is even quicker.

My question is, should we talk about skipping at pta? I am sure he can learn to read what he doesn't know at home. None of his friends in his class live near us so he just plays with the neighbors anyway.

I feel like he is so under simulated and has no struggles which I think are important for character development. I see it even now when he suddenly doesn't know his chumash, he has no concept of studying. But everyone always bashes skipping, and he doesn't seem to match up with what comes up when you google gifted (reading at 2 or without any instructions at all, musical, etc). I haven't heard from his teachers so I assume he is not misbehaving especially so he can't be too bored. And sometimes I think I'm crazy wanting his homework to be longer...

amother

Ballota

Yesterday at 5:07 pm

Is he your oldest child?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:10 pm

amother Ballota wrote:

Is he your oldest child?

Nope. Sandwiched between two girls and a little brother as well.

My older is smart, learned to read early, but even she struggled with the concepts at first. I think despite the 21 month age gap they are intellectually on about the same page.

amother

Hotpink ↓

Yesterday at 5:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

First of all, get him evaluated so you know if he’s actually gifted or not.

Second of all, my son also just turned 7, but he’s in 2nd grade. He’s the youngest in his class by a few months since he’s past the cut off. He is actually gifted, meaning he has an extremely high IQ. Despite being over a year younger than some of his classmates he is in enrichment classes in school and would do well academically even in the 3rd grade. In 1st grade he literally did not learn a single thing that challenged him the entire year, and that’s with already being “skipped”.

All that being said, I do NOT recommend pushing your child up a grade unless he ACTUALLY tests as extremely brilliant and you literally don’t have a choice but to move him up because he is worlds ahead of his classmates (the situation I had with my own son).

We spend a lot of time dealing with emotional and social issues that my son has in school, which likely would not be issues if he was in 1st grade instead of 2nd.

So unless your son is extremely brilliant, let him be the oldest! It’s so good for him! All the studies back up this point. Kids who are the oldest in the class do better in almost every aspect in childhood and even adult life. IyH he will be a great and confident leader in his class and it will spill over to other areas of his life. And especially for our boys who start having
long school hours at such a young age, why push it earlier if you don’t have to!

amother

Hosta ↓

Yesterday at 5:18 pm

If he missed the arbitrary cut off by two days, it's not even about being gifted or not. It's about being developmentally ahead of the grade he's in. Presumably there are kids in his grade 11+ months younger than him and the teachers are teaching to the middle.

Cut off dates are arbitrary and vary from school to school. I have neighbors who are cousins. They had sons three days apart but send to two different neighborhood schools. The one who's three days younger is a full grade ahead of the older one because one school has a Nov 1st cut off and the other is October 15th.

I wouldn't consider this skipping a grade, but adjusting where he belongs. If his teachers and principal are open, I'd pursue it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:19 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

I assume getting him evaluated is expensive, and in that case, I don't think I can do it, since this is kind of grey area for me. Like I said, he is neither unhappy or causing issues. I wish we had some intellectual boys of my block so we could have a chess club or something.

amother

↑ Hosta

Yesterday at 5:20 pm

Double post

amother

DarkGreen

Yesterday at 5:20 pm

Can I ask what number is his IQ? I have a son who tested as gifted when I was testing for attention issues (,BH isn't an issue anymore, and turns out they said he probably was just bored) but I didn't think his IQ number was so extraordinary so I'm just curious. Reason I'm asking so because I wonder if I should push to get this child in enrichment and higher level classes.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:21 pm

Well two posters above are exactly why I'm conflicted! LOL

Guess I should just wait until PTA and hear what his teachers suggest.

amother

↑ Hotpink ↓

Yesterday at 5:22 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

140

amother

↑ Hotpink

Yesterday at 5:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

Well two posters above are exactly why I'm conflicted! LOL

Guess I should just wait until PTA and hear what his teachers suggest.

It’s not really a conflict, I agree that in this case it’s not really “skipping” it’s just choosing whether you want him to be the oldest or the youngest in class. And I recommend making him the oldest.

giftedmom ↓

Yesterday at 5:52 pm

I think you’re making issues where there are none. My kids all fit your description more less and they’re just fine where they are. Skipping won’t solve your problem it’ll just create new ones. Supplement at home with things he isn’t learning in cheder.

Amelia Bedelia

Yesterday at 6:05 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Apt username

amother

Bergamot

Yesterday at 6:13 pm

I would not consider it skipping. You had the option to make him the youngest or the oldest. You made him the oldest. it was a mistake now fix it simple as that .

amother

Mauve ↓

Yesterday at 6:15 pm

Even if gifted, skipping a grade is no guarantee that the child will do well because they wouldn't have seen material from the previous year. Also, social life is very important and kids who skip sometimes find themselves seriously isolated. I think there are plenty of ways too enrich academics without taking a toll on your kid's social life.

amother

DarkPurple

Yesterday at 6:18 pm

No, I would not skip. By third grade the social will be much more important and the learning will even out more. I would give him advanced work in the meantime.

I have experience this with myself and some children, personally. And especially with boys, leave him as the oldest. Its to his advantage.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 6:20 pm

Enrichment ideas? I don't see what I can do, no room in budget to hire ppl to work with him and I have no spare time to do much with him. He is not allowed on the Internet. He has an internet free computer account with chess and sudoku.

amother

↑ Mauve

Yesterday at 6:23 pm

[quote="amother OP"]Enrichment ideas? I don't see what I can do, no room in budget to hire ppl to work with him and I have no spare time to do much with him. He is not allowed on the Internet. He has an internet free computer account with chess and sudoku.[/quote

There are interesting puzzles and building projects if he's into it, like robotics kits and such. If he has a curious mind, there are no limits!

mha3484

Yesterday at 6:37 pm

I have a 14 year old who is born 2 weeks after the school cutoff making him the oldest in his class. He is also profoundly gifted. When he was evaluated in 1st grade and was really under medicated for adhd his verbal iq was 133 and his other scores were weighed down from the lack of medication.

I kept him with his correct class and socially and emotionally it was the best thing for him. The grade ahead would eat him alive. It was two huge classes with a lot of challenging boys vs his class of 20. He would still have been bored. He would have to be 3-4 years ahead of his class to solve that. So I decided to focus on his social and emotional needs over his academic.

Deep Blue

Yesterday at 6:47 pm

He is not gifted. He is a bright kid who enjoys learning. This was me growing up, and I am in not gifted. Gifted is not just IQ, it also includes an intense, persistent, curious, exacting personality. Skipping wouldn't solve anything as the material is being taught with the same methods, and it is just different material. The potential issues with skipping would be socially (having to make new friends) bullying (due to jealousy), maybe ego. I say this as someone who was skipped and had siblings skipped.

I also say this as someone with a five year old son who is reading at at least third grade level and spelling at second grade level who WAS NOT TAUGHT to read at all. He is constantly coming up with projects and ways that he can learn on his own, while I am constantly trying to get him to be flexible creative and social, as I truly think that is what makes a person happy in life. Learning is fun, but too much focus on learning often leads to depression later on.

I not only am choosing not to skip my son, but he is also in a school that is not known for academics. Rather, it is a school that has a flexible attitude and a simple no pressure parent body. Academic challenges can be provided at home. We are working with the teacher to limit in school boredom, but at the end of the day this is the challenge he has to struggle with.