So upset | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 1:23 pm

I’ve been so overwhelmed for the point of breaking that I’ve had to let family watch my two kids just to get the occasional break.

So great now my three year old knows all about Disney movies and is singing about x-mas trees.

I’m so upset. They’d just laughed and ignore it if I ask it- like I said I wouldn’t have them watch the kids if I was managing but I’m not and I’m literally having mental breakdowns and unable to watch my kids all the time I need breaks for their own safety and mine and so as a result now my kids are exposed to all this secular garbage .

amother

Buttercup

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 1:24 pm

It's not ideal but it's ok. Let it go. They are safe and cared for. Save your energy for healing.

amother

Hosta ↓

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 1:25 pm

Don't eat yourself up over needing a break. Parents/mom's taking breaks is vital for our well being. If it doesn't work out for family to watch them, hire a sitter. Make it priority to take a break before you reach breaking point.
However, in such a time of need when you're at your breaking point, it's okay to let go a bit & allow the kids to watch. It's an emergency. It's okay.
Good luck

Cookin4days

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 1:29 pm

I hear ya and I’ve been there but I’m a firm believer if you’re getting free child care you can’t control what they do with your kids ie no screen time BUT you can try to politely say hi I prefer if you only let them watch so and so and no Xmas stuff

amother

Tomato

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 1:34 pm

My child went to public school until 5 years old.
It was necessary.
She came home with all the projects and songs... I just threw it all out when it came home and my home was filled with Jewish songs.
They're young. They'll forget
Also, it is their family. Which sounds like you have a relationship with them so it'll be hard to keep your kids completely sheltered. Better to make it normal from an early age than have ot be awkward later o.
"They celebrate Xmas and sing those songs but we celebrate chanuka and sing other songs"

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 1:44 pm

It’s more like I’ve been so overwhelmed by all the things going on/job stress/ marital stress/ financial crisis/ multiple health crises / trouble I’m having with my children/ lack of support I’m getting I’ve needed to take breaks from my children so I don’t physically injure them or myself.

My family is not respectful of my wishes at all and if I wasn’t feeling like I couldn’t be safe around my kids it wouldn’t be an option.

amother

↑ Hosta

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 1:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s more like I’ve been so overwhelmed by all the things going on/job stress/ marital stress/ financial crisis/ mental health / trouble I’m having with my children/ lack of support I’m getting I’ve needed to take breaks from my children so I don’t physically injure them or myself.

My family is not respectful of my wishes at all and if I wasn’t feeling like I couldn’t be safe around my kids it wouldn’t be an option.

It seems like you need professional help, are you getting that?
And in an emergency, yes, your family is an option to watch your kids, even if they show them videos. It's better then them being injured ch'v.

happy chick

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 2:23 pm

Don't beat yourself up. You needed the break, and if you need it again you shall ask again. You can't control what goes on while others are watching your kids (to an extent).

What you do have control over is what happens while they are in your care. Put on Jewish videos and sing Chanukah songs with them whenever you can. "A little light can dispel a lot of darkness."

amother

Marigold

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 2:25 pm

I must commend you for trying not to allow your kids to watch videos. I know that in the world of today, it is so easy to dump kids in front of a screen and the fact that it bothers you when your kids watch shows how much you care about them and what a great and loving mother you are.

giftedmom

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 2:25 pm

A 3 year old won’t remember if it’s not reinforced past age 4-5. As a temporary solution to a serious problem it’s okay.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 2:31 pm

amother Marigold wrote:

Thanks. I can’t take credit though, I do let her watch toveedo erev shabbos