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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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Yesterday at 6:08 pm
How low can people behave
Like we hearing about hosting events, renovations, donating money etc.
Basically publicly spending and spending in advertising but not paying your bills to a frum small business. I wonder how many others they’ve hurt.😞
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amother
RosePink
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Yesterday at 6:25 pm
Yes, I've dealt with that too. I don't understand the mentality.
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amother
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Yesterday at 6:28 pm
Or publicly pledging impressive donations and money for Aliyahs and never paying up.
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amother
Red
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Yesterday at 7:20 pm
Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:33 pm
amother Red wrote: | Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul |
Maybe the wife doesn't know about the collecting. Happens.
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amother
Oak
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Yesterday at 7:36 pm
amother Maroon wrote: | Maybe the wife doesn't know about the collecting. Happens. |
Wouldn't that be step one to fix the situation?
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amother
Raspberry
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Yesterday at 7:41 pm
I was recently treated to a vacation in Florida by a family member who needed company for a trip. I didn't pay a penny for it.
At the same time I'm in a very tight financial situation and owe tuition and in the grocery etc.
I felt like I needed to keep the trip a secret bc I would be judged.
You never know what's going on by someone and it's always a good midda to judge favorably.
(BTW the trip was literally like oxygen for me going through such a hard time bh)
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:42 pm
amother Oak wrote: | Wouldn't that be step one to fix the situation? |
In an ideal world, yes.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:43 pm
amother OP wrote: | How low can people behave
Like we hearing about hosting events, renovations, donating money etc.
Basically publicly spending and spending in advertising but not paying your bills to a frum small business. I wonder how many others they’ve hurt.😞 |
Business & personal finances are separate.
Unfortunately, that's how it is.
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amother
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Today at 4:28 am
amother White wrote: | Business & personal finances are separate.
Unfortunately, that's how it is. |
I think OP is not talking about business expenses, but personal money owed to a small business.
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amother
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Today at 7:25 am
amother Maroon wrote: | Maybe the wife doesn't know about the collecting. Happens. |
Or she's an expert seamstress and sews her own, or an amazing shopper and finds metziahs, or has a friend in retail who sells her stuff at cost...
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amother
Puce
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Today at 7:40 am
amother Magenta wrote: | Or she's an expert seamstress and sews her own, or an amazing shopper and finds metziahs, or has a friend in retail who sells her stuff at cost... |
Or she was gifted the clothes
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amother
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Today at 8:14 am
amother Maroon wrote: | I think OP is not talking about business expenses, but personal money owed to a small business. |
Then 100%
But I do know that as someone that runs a large business, sometimes my business cannot pay for 60 or 90 days because that's how it works and I rotate payments, but that has nothing to do with the personal spending in my house.
When I personally owe someone money, I paid that day.
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amother
Cornsilk
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Today at 9:14 am
amother Red wrote: | Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul |
Maybe someone bought it for her. Or maybe she didn’t have anything that fit her because she’s gained/lost weight. I don’t have a lot, but I do have a lot of nice clothing because a relative brought me shopping and she did that because my weight has fluctuated and changed so much in the last 3 years with 2 babies. I literally didn’t have anything that fit me.
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lamplighter
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Today at 9:50 am
It's so hard not to judge especially when it seems so obvious, sometimes I tell myself that Hashem is the true judge and I'll let him pass judgement and I'll focus on what I can do.
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Today at 9:53 am
Very often there if no way to be Dan lkaf zechus. Many people spend beyond their means and expect others to fund their lavish lifestyle. It is what it is
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ShishKabob
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Today at 9:53 am
lamplighter wrote: | It's so hard not to judge especially when it seems so obvious, sometimes I tell myself that Hashem is the true judge and I'll let him pass judgement and I'll focus on what I can do. | You are a true lamplighter!
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amother
Yarrow
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Today at 9:55 am
amother Red wrote: | Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul |
Hey thats me. I actually shopped a ton for my kids and myself at last years 50-70% off sales, when we were more stable. ( And my MIL buys us all one new clothes for yom tov too)
Then we got into a sudden huge minus and my husband had to collect for a few months to cover our expenses....
Please stop with the judging.
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amother
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Today at 10:02 am
amother White wrote: | Then 100%
But I do know that as someone that runs a large business, sometimes my business cannot pay for 60 or 90 days because that's how it works and I rotate payments, but that has nothing to do with the personal spending in my house.
When I personally owe someone money, I paid that day. |
But why? There's an obligation to pay workers on time. Personally we put our personal money in my husband's company to pay his contracted employees before closing shop.
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amother
Anemone
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Today at 10:02 am
Please don't blame the wife if the husband does that.
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