Not paying a large bill but publicly spending

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 6:08 pm

How low can people behave

Like we hearing about hosting events, renovations, donating money etc.

Basically publicly spending and spending in advertising but not paying your bills to a frum small business. I wonder how many others they’ve hurt.😞

amother

RosePink

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 6:25 pm

Yes, I've dealt with that too. I don't understand the mentality.

amother

Magenta ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 6:28 pm

Or publicly pledging impressive donations and money for Aliyahs and never paying up.

amother

Red

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 7:20 pm

Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul

amother

Maroon ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 7:33 pm

amother Red wrote:

Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul

Maybe the wife doesn't know about the collecting. Happens.

amother

Oak

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 7:36 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

Maybe the wife doesn't know about the collecting. Happens.

Wouldn't that be step one to fix the situation?

amother

Raspberry

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 7:41 pm

I was recently treated to a vacation in Florida by a family member who needed company for a trip. I didn't pay a penny for it.
At the same time I'm in a very tight financial situation and owe tuition and in the grocery etc.
I felt like I needed to keep the trip a secret bc I would be judged.
You never know what's going on by someone and it's always a good midda to judge favorably.
(BTW the trip was literally like oxygen for me going through such a hard time bh)

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 7:42 pm

amother Oak wrote:

Wouldn't that be step one to fix the situation?

In an ideal world, yes.

amother

White ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 7:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Business & personal finances are separate.
Unfortunately, that's how it is.

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 4:28 am

amother White wrote:

Business & personal finances are separate.
Unfortunately, that's how it is.

I think OP is not talking about business expenses, but personal money owed to a small business.

amother

↑ Magenta

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 7:25 am

amother Maroon wrote:

Maybe the wife doesn't know about the collecting. Happens.

Or she's an expert seamstress and sews her own, or an amazing shopper and finds metziahs, or has a friend in retail who sells her stuff at cost...

amother

Puce

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 7:40 am

amother Magenta wrote:

Or she's an expert seamstress and sews her own, or an amazing shopper and finds metziahs, or has a friend in retail who sells her stuff at cost...

Or she was gifted the clothes

amother

↑ White

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 8:14 am

amother Maroon wrote:

I think OP is not talking about business expenses, but personal money owed to a small business.

Then 100%
But I do know that as someone that runs a large business, sometimes my business cannot pay for 60 or 90 days because that's how it works and I rotate payments, but that has nothing to do with the personal spending in my house.
When I personally owe someone money, I paid that day.

amother

Cornsilk

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 9:14 am

amother Red wrote:

Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul

Maybe someone bought it for her. Or maybe she didn’t have anything that fit her because she’s gained/lost weight. I don’t have a lot, but I do have a lot of nice clothing because a relative brought me shopping and she did that because my weight has fluctuated and changed so much in the last 3 years with 2 babies. I literally didn’t have anything that fit me.

lamplighter

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 9:50 am

It's so hard not to judge especially when it seems so obvious, sometimes I tell myself that Hashem is the true judge and I'll let him pass judgement and I'll focus on what I can do.

amother

Oxfordblue

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 9:53 am

Very often there if no way to be Dan lkaf zechus. Many people spend beyond their means and expect others to fund their lavish lifestyle. It is what it is

ShishKabob

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 9:53 am

lamplighter wrote:

It's so hard not to judge especially when it seems so obvious, sometimes I tell myself that Hashem is the true judge and I'll let him pass judgement and I'll focus on what I can do.

You are a true lamplighter! Smile

amother

Yarrow

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 9:55 am

amother Red wrote:

Or collecting money from friends and the wife is in the newest style clothing in shul

Hey thats me. I actually shopped a ton for my kids and myself at last years 50-70% off sales, when we were more stable. ( And my MIL buys us all one new clothes for yom tov too)
Then we got into a sudden huge minus and my husband had to collect for a few months to cover our expenses....

Please stop with the judging.

amother

Zinnia ↓

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 10:02 am

amother White wrote:

But why? There's an obligation to pay workers on time. Personally we put our personal money in my husband's company to pay his contracted employees before closing shop.

amother

Anemone

Wed, Dec 04 2024, 10:02 am

Please don't blame the wife if the husband does that.