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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Bullying in yeshivah
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  PinkFridge  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 08 2024, 9:41 am
Sewsew_mom wrote:
You're doing the right thing.
And also he's telling you why he doesn't share with you things.. Think about it.


OK, she makes big deals of things. She needs to tone it down. But right now, this is something that DOES need to be made a deal of. She can tell him, I hear you and I'm going to work on it. Try to trust me when I do act on it.
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  PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 08 2024, 9:41 am
amother Marigold wrote:
It’s not on her. Many kids are people pleasers and only want to make their parents happy, not because they have a bad reaction they just don’t want to talk about unpleasant things. It’s a personality.


Good point. But I think what I just said can still be helpful.
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  Molly Weasley




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 08 2024, 9:43 am
What does the school say?
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  Sewsew_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 08 2024, 9:43 am
PinkFridge wrote:
OK, she makes big deals of things. She needs to tone it down. But right now, this is something that DOES need to be made a deal of. She can tell him, I hear you and I'm going to work on it. Try to trust me when I do act on it.

Never a need to make a scene in front of a child and react crazy.
Yes. It's so important to be handled appropriately and taken care of. I don't even know where anyone got the message that I said it's an overreaction and not to be taken seriously. It absolutely is serious. And also this child doesn't feel safe sharing something so huge. That's the part I brought up on the side.
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amother
  OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 08 2024, 3:47 pm
Let's not get caught up on me and my reactions. That's not the main issue here.

I don't overreact except when it comes to physical violence. There were two minor cases in middle school where I intervened and stopped the bullying behavior immediately which is probably why he didn't want to tell me now. They were very minor situations in middle school and I am glad I said something so it didn't escalate.

This is an entirely different level. I believe my son didn't tell me anything because he knew I would get involved and possibly the situation would get worse. Now that he sees I kept him home and I am protecting him I am seeing him feeling much freer and happier. Sometimes kids are afraid that reporting it will make it worse for them.

I reached out to the school and am dealing with it. I hope they will address it correctly. If not, we will have to explore other options possibly another yeshiva.
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amother
  PlumPink


 

Post Sat, Nov 09 2024, 11:54 am
amother OP wrote:
Let's not get caught up on me and my reactions. That's not the main issue here.

I don't overreact except when it comes to physical violence. There were two minor cases in middle school where I intervened and stopped the bullying behavior immediately which is probably why he didn't want to tell me now. They were very minor situations in middle school and I am glad I said something so it didn't escalate.

This is an entirely different level. I believe my son didn't tell me anything because he knew I would get involved and possibly the situation would get worse. Now that he sees I kept him home and I am protecting him I am seeing him feeling much freer and happier. Sometimes kids are afraid that reporting it will make it worse for them.

I reached out to the school and am dealing with it. I hope they will address it correctly. If not, we will have to explore other options possibly another yeshiva.


Sounds like you're handling this really well! You got this!
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