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S/O Help me forgive a good person who did harm



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amother
OP  


 

Post Sun, Oct 06 2024, 9:23 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
Not all experts and rabbis are good people, or good at telling who is the narcissist.


Thank you, LovesHashem. The way you put it helped me. But I'm still struggling with this.

I'm not OP of that thread, but I was hurt by someone similar. A well known person who believed lies and caused me a lot of harm.

Of course some are bad people.
Others, though, are not.
How does a good person fall for a narcissist's lies and become his weapon to perpetuate the abuse?

I want to believe he's still a good person. I know the perpetuator is a bad person, but I want to believe those who believed him and enabled him aren't evil like him. Them I want to forgive.

I do believe everything comes from Hashem, but people can still be bad. The perpetuator is a bad person even if he couldn't harm me independently. That's not my present struggle. I'm trying to understand this other person.

Can you help me?
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bestme




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 06 2024, 10:29 pm
So sorry you went through such pain
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Ruchi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 06 2024, 10:34 pm
Many narcs have a way of winning over ppl in a very convincing manner. Ppl end up falling for their disgusting and evil lies.
G-d will deal with the narc for doing this.
It's so distressing and heart wrenching when those who should be believing you, believe him.
I think with time, when you heal and are in a better space, you will be in a position to forgive the other person. Please give yourself the time you need.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:32 pm
bestme wrote:
So sorry you went through such pain


❤️
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amother
  OP


 

Post Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:34 pm
Ruchi wrote:
Many narcs have a way of winning over ppl in a very convincing manner. Ppl end up falling for their disgusting and evil lies.
G-d will deal with the narc for doing this.
It's so distressing and heart wrenching when those who should be believing you, believe him.
I think with time, when you heal and are in a better space, you will be in a position to forgive the other person. Please give yourself the time you need.


He's definitely convincing... You're saying they were deceived by his manner. I can see that.

I'll give myself enough much time as I need to forgive. And I'm not even trying to forgive the perpetuator at all. At least not now. Right now. I'm trying to understand. I need to make sense for myself too.
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