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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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Elfrida
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Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:14 pm
Molly Weasley wrote: | Our Shul doesn't have a "membership", if that make a difference. |
If there's no annual membership, it makes sense that the fee for a seat on the Yamim Noraim would be much more. They dint have any other regular source of income.
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Molly Weasley
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Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:19 pm
Elfrida wrote: | If there's no annual membership, it makes sense that the fee for a seat on the Yamim Noraim would be much more. They dint have any other regular source of income. |
I agree. I wonder if OP pays a membership
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amother
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Sun, Oct 06 2024, 5:11 pm
amother Dahlia wrote: | In our shul paying members get one seat in the men's section and one seat in the women's section. Any additional seats cost extra. Mostly I do see families paying for teenagers to have seats if they're actually going to be there to daven all day. I also see families sharing seats, especially if they have young children who are just coming in to hear shofar.
OP, is there a reason you and your daughter couldn't take turns sharing your one seat? |
I am not in shul, I am home with the kids. I don’t purchase a seat to hear shofar, I stand outside for that. Membership gets us one free seat in the mens side and that’s it.
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amother
Blushpink
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Sun, Oct 06 2024, 5:26 pm
Does no shul have extra seats that aren't reserved? I don't live in the us, so maybe we do things differently. We have the option of reserving a seat if we want. But there are usually more seats than the reserved seats, usually further back or near the exit, and whoever wants can sit in those seats. Or you can stand outside or at the back.
When I was a teen I used to go to a different shul which I preferred to my father's shul. And I would take a seat at the back.
The shuls have a seating plan on the door, and you can clearly see which aren't the reserved seats.
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Elfrida
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 1:55 am
amother Blushpink wrote: | Does no shul have extra seats that aren't reserved? I don't live in the us, so maybe we do things differently. We have the option of reserving a seat if we want. But there are usually more seats than the reserved seats, usually further back or near the exit, and whoever wants can sit in those seats. Or you can stand outside or at the back.
When I was a teen I used to go to a different shul which I preferred to my father's shul. And I would take a seat at the back.
The shuls have a seating plan on the door, and you can clearly see which aren't the reserved seats. |
When I grew up in England I lived in an area with an ageing/dying community, and there were always extra seats. My mother grew up in the same place a generation earlier, and she remembered it being a very active community, where they would have to rent extra buildings to accommodate the overflow service for the Yamim Noraim. It's a matter of supply and demand.
My current shul, in Jerusalem, adds seats according to bookings, but there is a limited amount of space, and as it is you have to thread your way between all the extra seats, and there is little room to move. Adding even more seats would just be impossible. Additionally, I can think of eight other minyanim within a ten minute radius of my shul, and as many again a bit further away. There's no imperative to make sure everyone has a place to daven.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:01 am
Most shuls by us don't have extras. One or two do, but it's 5 or y seats in a section of a hundred.
OP, maybe I missed it- what did you do for Rosh Hashanah in the end? And if you didn't buy, can you get for cheaper for just Yom Kippur?
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:03 am
OP, I know this will sound weird but I’ll try anything. Will you let me pay for your DD’s seat as a zchus for my DD to want to daven? DD is on a downward spiral and I would give my right hand for her to want a seat in Shul. Please?
If yes, can you post an anonymous email and I’ll Zelle you the money?
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amother
Mint
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:51 am
Our shul sells seats. Anyone who has a difficult financial situation reaches out to the shul and a payment plan or other arrangement is made in a very bkavodik way and no one is turned away if you make arrangements in advance. As an earlier poster said this helps cover some of the shul’s annual budget. This year every single seat in the women’s section in the main shul was paid for. There was literally not an empty seat in the shul (and that’s with chairs being added). But then people came who hadn’t paid for seats, or brought children who hadn’t paid for seats but took them) and women who paid for seats had no where to go. It’s uncomfortable to ask someone to move out of your seat etc.
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Ruchel
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 5:22 am
I'd ask someone to give me my seat.
Signed, someone who doesn't pay and sit where she can. I've sat occasionally on the stairs as a youth.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:44 pm
Bumping this up so OP can see my previous post.
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amother
Cherry
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:11 pm
Well someone took my seat both days of RH and I had to stand at the back for 2+ hours each day. From shofar until my legs gave way because I have a trapped nerve in my back and if I stand for too long my legs get numb.
So I had to go home before that happened so I could still walk home.
I don't begrudge a seat and would not want someone not to come to shul to daven because they didn't pay, but I paid $$$ and still didn't get to sit down. Im not old so dont want to embarrass myself by asking s/o to move.
Yes I have confidence issues.
Our seats are not marked, just the correct number plus a row for visitors/others who haven't paid.
Next year maybe I'll try a different shul where I don't belong and see if I can get a seat there.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:45 pm
We ended up doing a payment plan of $17 or so a month for the next year so my daughter could have a seat. We did find someone who also had a daughter and split the seat so the girls could take turns standing/ sitting.
They have about 5 empty seats, normally taken, but if a girl were to take it typically an adult would come and ask for it.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:49 pm
amother Orange wrote: | OP, I know this will sound weird but I’ll try anything. Will you let me pay for your DD’s seat as a zchus for my DD to want to daven? DD is on a downward spiral and I would give my right hand for her to want a seat in Shul. Please?
If yes, can you post an anonymous email and I’ll Zelle you the money? |
Amother orange I give you a bracha that in the zechus of your offer your daughter should improve in her ruchnius. My 2 brothers were otd (one of whom died a few years ago) so I know how painful it is.
It is really a rich person’s problem (even with $200 in the bank and I appreciate you putting into perspective for me)
I really wasn’t going to get her a seat, but then she said she would wake up and daven all day if I got her one and otherwise stay home so I just felt like I couldn’t say no to her because of $.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:52 pm
amother OP wrote: | Amother orange I give you a bracha that in the zechus of your offer your daughter should improve in her ruchnius. My 2 brothers were otd (one of whom died a few years ago) so I know how painful it is.
It is really a rich person’s problem (even with $200 in the bank and I appreciate you putting into perspective for me)
I really wasn’t going to get her a seat, but then she said she would wake up and daven all day if I got her one and otherwise stay home so I just felt like I couldn’t say no to her because of $. |
Amein and thank you for your kind words.
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amother
Ultramarine
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 5:01 pm
In my shul it’s less money for unmarried kids living with you. 180 for married adult and 100 for kids. Even this is a lot for us. There are also extra unreserved seats in the back.
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