Why are seats so expensive

amother

↑ Bellflower ↓

Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:49 pm

amother Stonewash wrote:

Please don't do this. I grew up being told to do this and it was very embarassing for me as a kid. I am not sure how old she is but I still feel the feelings of shame of people asking me to move around the shul.

It's very, very normal. I'm sorry you were embarrassed by this. There's nothing to be ashamed about.

amother

↑ Bellflower

Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:56 pm

amother Stonewash wrote:

I am sorry I disagree and now as an adult I believe possibly stealing.

I disagree. As I said, I used to work in a shul office. People reserve seats but, at least where I worked, the seats were still owned by the shul and people were allowed to sit there as long as they get up for the person who reseve the seat. You are paying to reserve it for when you are there, not for when you aren't there.

amother

NeonPurple

Wed, Oct 02 2024, 2:58 pm

amother Slategray wrote:

And also make it more affordable. $200 in today’s economy is not ok. Have a shul membership paid over months don’t nickel and dime each family member rosh hashana time.

Do shuls where you live not have membership fees?
We have memberships here and seats cost $. Our shul you get 2 seats “free” if you’re a member and then if you want more you pay for those. Not sure how it works with others but all of the established shuls have membership fees.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Oct 02 2024, 4:12 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

It's very, very normal. I'm sorry you were embarrassed by this. There's nothing to be ashamed about.

I’m sure there are different norms but it’s not normal in any shul I’ve been to.
One year I didn’t reserve a seat, not finance related. I ended up going and feeling so uncomfortable and distracted and yes embarrassed the whole time looking up to make sure the person whose seat I was in wasn’t coming in. I would never do that to a young girl.

amother

DarkKhaki

Wed, Oct 02 2024, 4:14 pm

OP did you ask the rabbi or person in charge if you can have a seat for your daughter because she wants to daven and you can't afford it? Most are very accommodating . They charge because a shul needs funds but they usually are understanding if someone can't afford it.

amother

↑ Crimson

Wed, Oct 02 2024, 4:46 pm

Refine wrote:

Can you "split" a seat with a young mother who won't be coming for long?
Think of such a family and offer them 75$ for your daughter to use their seat when they are not there. They may even decline payment.

I sat in other people’s seats and when they came to shul I’d get up for them. B4 they even asked me to get up.

amother

Stoneblue

Sat, Oct 05 2024, 10:29 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

It's very, very normal. I'm sorry you were embarrassed by this. There's nothing to be ashamed about.

It’s not fair to do to a girl. Besides, how can she concentrate if she’s worried about being in someone’s seat the whole time. I know I wouldn’t be able to focus on davening if I had to constantly check if I was in someone’s seat if they arrived. And then have to go from seat to seat. That would be embarrassing.

Molly Weasley ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 10:23 am

The shul we attend has very expensive seats. I wish it was only $200

On the flip side, it's understood that someone will be in your seat while you're not there. You reserve your seat while you're there. There's nothing "yours" about it otherwise.

Our Shul actually has a rule that you cannot buy seats for children. You're welcome to bring a stool, etc.

lamplighter

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 11:27 am

Buying a seat for an adult is one thing. Once you start counting teens and/or kids the cost becomes prohibitive.
I wish there was some kind of system to include families that wasn't so costly.

Last edited by lamplighter on Sun, Oct 06 2024, 12:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 11:47 am

My husband does pay for shul membership which includes 1 seat for him but not for the kids. It’s not like we don’t pay into the shul fees. I just think it’s a lot to charge to allow a teenage girl to daven and I am not going to get into all my finances with our neighbor who is the gabay, when I said money was tight, he laughed and said it is for everyone, you can pay in payments.

amother

Hosta

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 12:54 pm

amother Charcoal wrote:

So who should be covering shul expenses if not people who actually use the shul? The people who cant pay should make a payment plan and pay throughout the year. The same way you buy new clothes, you renew your ability to benefit from the shul. For some reason people think that they can jump seats and get away with paying so they do.

Not evrryone buys new clothes.....some people are really really struggling

Ruchel ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 12:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

He laughed? Where is the pity of a jew?
Also new clothes can be 15 euros online

amother

Bluebonnet ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 1:06 pm

I am so beyond sorry. In my shul, and all the shuls in my town and the town I grew up in, membership gets you any seats you need for your immediate family/members of your household who live with you. In some shul, they have to be above a certain age- the lowest I have seen that be is 11 for girls and 12 for boys, and usually its 10 across the board. You pay for seats for visiting parents, kids who aren't part of your household anymore (married or otherwise), and other guests. Teens are just as indicated to be there as their parents, and in the case of a girl, often more so than her mother.

If shuls aren't going to/genuinely can't give discounts for need- not a fan of the laughing, but you may have been the 20th person to talk to him just that day- there needs to be a fund in the community. I would donate to it- let people do so in the zechus of yeshuos for the coming year.

Elfrida ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 1:16 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

It's the complete opposite by us.

Members automatically get two seats in the men, and one in the women, then they pay a discounted rate for any extra seats. Non-members pay a higher rate for as many seats as they want.

Next to the seating plan at the entrance there is a notice clearly stating that no one may sit in someone else's seat, and that if anyone else is in your seat, you have the right to request them to move, at any part of the davening.

It also says that bringing in extra chairs is not allowed. To be fair, that would make things even more of a safety hazard than it already is. They add seats as necessary for everyone who has booked a seat, and some years there is barely room to move between the seats.

My seat this year happened to be next to one of the doors. The woman next to me came for Shacharit, then left and came back for tekiyos, then left again. Her seat was empty about half the morning. Despite half the women coming in walking past this empty seat, no one else tried to sit in it. It would have been completely against the very well established culture of the shul.

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:03 pm

In our shul paying members get one seat in the men's section and one seat in the women's section. Any additional seats cost extra. Mostly I do see families paying for teenagers to have seats if they're actually going to be there to daven all day. I also see families sharing seats, especially if they have young children who are just coming in to hear shofar.

OP, is there a reason you and your daughter couldn't take turns sharing your one seat?

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:06 pm

Elfrida wrote:

Our Shul doesn't have a "membership", if that make a difference.