If you became a SAHM...

amother

Holly ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:28 pm

I left my job.... it was still an extremely hard decision.

at the time I left, I was able to do it income wise, I got fed up from stressing out for another person's business- literally took my brain space day/night, I wasn't happy about who my work was hiring.

not sure what your stage is but I have 4 kids keh and it was a good move
I still keep my eyes open for the right job. I do feel like I want to work somewhat to keep my brain fresh and socialize
I have my routine every day. I do lots of cooking and baking
I would recommend it if you can do it financially but be prepared that its an adjustment, youll have to give it time to figure out your schedule so you dont get depressed at home lol

amother

NeonOrange

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you happy you did? Any regrets or surprises? What made you finally decide to quit working?

Yes and no. I love the flexibility and not having to worry about babysitters. I miss being around other adults and using my brains. I’m also not very good at housework.

I decided to quit when dh started a new job that was double the salary but a lot more hours. Financially it doesn’t make sense for me to work anymore.

amother

↑ Holly

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:37 pm

on the other hand, going to work and giving the non stop crying baby to a sitter is the best break ever Tongue Out

I also found that I was more organized with some things when I worked.
now im just overall more relaxed
I love it though
im still very structured and disciplined
I get to nap by day very often and boy do I need that sometimes

amother

Pearl

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:49 pm

I became extremely burnt out at work. BH we are able to financially rely only on dh income.

After the first exhilarating month of freedom, I got antsy and started volunteering. Signed up for a gym membership. Started training for a marathon. I really enjoyed being home and not habing the pressure of the workplace. I also found myself having much more patience for my kids.

Then BH had a baby, and now I'm a true SAHM. It's significantly harder than expected, as my entire day revolved around childcare. If you're used to working full-time, with the mental stimulation and adult company, this is a very big change. I know this sounds like a bratty thing to say. I know there are tens if not hundreds of women who wish they can be SAHMs. But as someone who loved working, who loved being able to oversee projects, see them through, facilitate solutions.... motherhood is not that. It's slow, it's monotonous, it's repetitive.

Still, I feel that the quality of my parenting for all of my children is better than I was working. I am less stressed out, I am more attentive. So I feel I am sacrificing my pleasure of working for my kids to have a better mother. And I do things to keep myself happy - I exercise consistently, I make sure to go outside every single day, I call friends so I have adult conversation.

OP if you do transition to SAHM, create a schedule for yourself, amd spend time every day outdoors. It will save your sanity.

amother

Obsidian

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:52 pm

I was really burnt out from working and, even though it was only part time. After my third was born, I quit and stayed home. But, I wasn't really happy staying home full time. I went back to work a while after my youngest was in school, but in a different field. I'm much happier working (even full time now).

amother

Gray

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 11:07 pm

I didn’t leave but it’s a year to year job and didn’t work out to go back for the following year. I love that I could do everything calmly and my life isn’t a rush…. I also like that I get to cook bake extras but I believe I spend more money now that I’m not working.

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 11:32 pm

I became a sahm when I had my second baby and my husband started traveling for work a lot. I felt like I was doing the best for my kids and allowing my husband to advance in his career. I am the sahm who sits with my kids on the floor and plays and teaches them for hours. My kids have a warm supper when they come home... It's 20 years later now and I realize that I neglected to take care of myself. I have no friends, zero social life. My teens comment here and there how I'm lazy because I don't have a "job", so at the end of the day the kids dont fully appreciate it. As much as my husband appreciates all that I do and he doesn't question my purchases, the money is still not half mine like it would be if I'd be earning money.
I regret being a SAHM.

amother

Lightgreen ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 11:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you happy you did? Any regrets or surprises? What made you finally decide to quit working?

Soooo happy , no regrets . I quit because after babysitting costs and some extra cleaning help I wasn’t really bringing in that much for it to be worth all the stress working comes along with ( getting out on time , having too much on your mind , racing to carpool …)

amother

↑ Lightgreen

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 11:39 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

I’m so sorry your kids say that ! I actually used to think that about my mom (would never say it tho !) but then I became a mom and realized how hard she worked ! Iyh one day your kids will realize too. You sound like you did an amazing job.

amother

Amber

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 12:37 am

Very happy. Never thought I would have to. Did it bc of move and husband’s job is way to busy. First year was VERY hard for me. Cried a lot , tried to keep myself busy. A bunch of kids later and I don’t regret it at all. Days are hard and I’m exhausted but I now know how to pace myself and I know when I need a break…. My working mom friends don’t know how to do this yet. They’ll work themselves to the core and complain and complain. I know I’m privileged and don’t take it for granted. I wish working moms could gain this skill of knowing their limits.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 1:10 am

The plan was always for me to stay home and raise the kids. I bh was able to do it until my youngest started school.

I did work part time when I had 2 kids, but then stopped working completely.

Bh I was able to get a great job when I was ready to go back to work.

I would have continued working part time had it made sense. It didn't. One of my kids needed alot of therapy and attention. Dh wasn't around to help out. I had no family locally. Also, after paying childcare for a few kids, my take home pay would have been close to nothing.