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amother
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 Sun, Sep 08 2024, 9:20 pm
My own room!
Being that we were a large family in a small house, I always roomed with some of my sisters and still resent the lack of privacy and space of them now.
Then I got married and only having to share my room with one person, having my own closet and own set of draws, it's all mamash luxurious 🤣
Then my baby came along and moved into my room that I only shared with one person. Now we're nearly back to the same cramped situation as before my wedding..
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amother
Valerian
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 9:22 pm
Me too!! Bought one for my 3 year old lol
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amother
Dustypink
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 9:23 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Lol yea this is so true.
I feel like theres nothing my kids pine for that they dont get.
Its crazy.
I never had a bike, roller blades, gameboys, electronic games and I was ok.
It was a no ,and we just went with it.
I feel like my kids have so much, yet theyre never ok with the stuff they have  |
That's the problem. I started holding off simple stuff from my kids - they have to 'earn it'. be it snacks (for no good reason) bikes, loafers, jelly bracelets you name it!
you want a snack? go clean up the playroom. You want the Ralph Lauren sweater? stop sucking your thumb. you want a new bike? stop fighting with your brother for two weeks.
and guess what, it really works! Im not begging them into anything,(please clean up your room, im not repeating this, please I promise I wont buy you) just very matter of fact. you want a new shabbas outfit for YT? ABC has to work.
The rule is A)it has to be something that motivates them and B)There is no budging afterwards, so I usually think before if its something I will absolutely be able to follow through
Otherwise they will grow up SPOILED Rotten. They kind of were already, BH I realized it on time.
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amother
Darkblue
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 9:35 pm
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Someone once told me I have piano fingers. Since then I've dreamed about playing the piano. I'm 36. Think I can still learn something?
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amother
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 9:59 pm
| amother Maroon wrote: | | Mario..were you born in the 70's?? They were all the rage in the 80's when I hit my teens.. |
Nope, I was born in the 90s
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nursemomma
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 10:09 pm
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I so badly wanted an American girl doll and a Kipling briefcase.
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giftedmom
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 10:20 pm
| amother Dustypink wrote: | That's the problem. I started holding off simple stuff from my kids - they have to 'earn it'. be it snacks (for no good reason) bikes, loafers, jelly bracelets you name it!
you want a snack? go clean up the playroom. You want the Ralph Lauren sweater? stop sucking your thumb. you want a new bike? stop fighting with your brother for two weeks.
and guess what, it really works! Im not begging them into anything,(please clean up your room, im not repeating this, please I promise I wont buy you) just very matter of fact. you want a new shabbas outfit for YT? ABC has to work.
The rule is A)it has to be something that motivates them and B)There is no budging afterwards, so I usually think before if its something I will absolutely be able to follow through
Otherwise they will grow up SPOILED Rotten. They kind of were already, BH I realized it on time. |
This works in the sense that you’re getting your way and also maybe that your kids will take less for granted. But I’m afraid in the long term you will lose more than you gain.
Kids don’t have to get everything they ask for but they also should be getting things just because.
And bribing them to do everything you want them to works for the short term but destroys their inner motivation.
It’s just wrong and not the way you’d want anyone to treat you. Think about it.
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amother
Moccasin
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 10:28 pm
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A Lego train set. I desperately wanted it (probably around 10-12yo) and one of my aunts said she’d buy it for me but then decided it wasn’t appropriate for ‘such a big girl’. I still look at them in catalogs (I’m over 50 now) and have considered buying myself one, but never did.
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Aurora
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 10:36 pm
I wanted a beautiful singing voice.
Still waiting (and yes, I have taken voice lessons)...
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amother
Teal
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 10:44 pm
| amother Dustypink wrote: | That's the problem. I started holding off simple stuff from my kids - they have to 'earn it'. be it snacks (for no good reason) bikes, loafers, jelly bracelets you name it!
you want a snack? go clean up the playroom. You want the Ralph Lauren sweater? stop sucking your thumb. you want a new bike? stop fighting with your brother for two weeks.
and guess what, it really works! Im not begging them into anything,(please clean up your room, im not repeating this, please I promise I wont buy you) just very matter of fact. you want a new shabbas outfit for YT? ABC has to work.
The rule is A)it has to be something that motivates them and B)There is no budging afterwards, so I usually think before if its something I will absolutely be able to follow through
Otherwise they will grow up SPOILED Rotten. They kind of were already, BH I realized it on time. |
This sounds awful.
Just because "it works" doesn't mean it's good.
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amother
Catmint
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 11:01 pm
A juicy sweater.
I was literally the only one of 90 plus girls in sem who didn't have one
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amother
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 11:14 pm
| amother Dustypink wrote: | That's the problem. I started holding off simple stuff from my kids - they have to 'earn it'. be it snacks (for no good reason) bikes, loafers, jelly bracelets you name it!
you want a snack? go clean up the playroom. You want the Ralph Lauren sweater? stop sucking your thumb. you want a new bike? stop fighting with your brother for two weeks.
and guess what, it really works! Im not begging them into anything,(please clean up your room, im not repeating this, please I promise I wont buy you) just very matter of fact. you want a new shabbas outfit for YT? ABC has to work.
The rule is A)it has to be something that motivates them and B)There is no budging afterwards, so I usually think before if its something I will absolutely be able to follow through
Otherwise they will grow up SPOILED Rotten. They kind of were already, BH I realized it on time. |
I believe in rewarding kids when they make an effort but I don't think it's should always only work that way.
Giving just because makes them emotionally healthy, they know their parents love them, are there for them and want to give to them. Obviously this comes with boundaries and I'm not saying to always give into their demands, but life isn't always about bartering. They're allowed to learn to give just because.
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amother
Papayawhip
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 11:23 pm
| amother Darkblue wrote: | | Someone once told me I have piano fingers. Since then I've dreamed about playing the piano. I'm 36. Think I can still learn something? |
For sure!
A friend of mine is a piano and voice teacher and she says that anyone can learn!
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rowo
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 11:27 pm
| amother Honey wrote: | 96 crayola crayons with the sharpener in the back
Barbies
Ruffle socks |
Yes! Ruffle socks!
My younger sister got some, but by then I was too old to wear them. I was so jealous.
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amother
Hyssop
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 11:27 pm
Kipling backpack, Atlanta loafers,
Uniform skirts that were hemmed to be a nice length.
Haircuts with layers, versus a homemade straight-across cut.
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amother
Gray
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 11:39 pm
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I never thought I was spoiled but I had an american girl doll, kipling backpack and juicy sweatshirt lol
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amother
Pansy
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 12:02 am
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American girl doll. I’d look through the catalog wheneber it arrived in the mail and stare at the dolls I dreamed of owning and saw the price is $100 I didn’t imagine I would get it although I did want it very badly.
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amother
Mimosa
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 1:04 am
Glasses.
Over 50 and still don’t need them!
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amother
Topaz
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 1:26 am
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amother
Chicory
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 5:42 am
Brand name stationery and school supplies, including backpack, water bottles etc.
There was a certain store that had these cool supplies, but my mother always said they were too expensive (they are very wealthy bH, and I was not neglected, my mother just didn't believe in brand names. So she would spend a fortune on things like say a nice vacation, but always bought cheap items.)
I now buy that brand for my kids, lol (it's still a thing if you can believe it!). We have far less $ than my parents, but I'm really buying the stuff for myself lol. My kids are too young/not the type to care 
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