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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Twins, Triplets, and more
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amother
Poinsettia
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 Thu, Sep 05 2024, 8:52 pm
Hi! I'm the op of the other "just found out " thread 
Totally in the same boat as you!
Feel so overwhelmed and so nervous and don't really have anyone to talk it out with in real life.
I'm 14 weeks now! Found out at 9 weeks too
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amother
Charcoal
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Thu, Sep 05 2024, 11:52 pm
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Insurance pays for nurses in Brooklyn. Best is to start the process while expecting.
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amother
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 12:43 am
My third and fourth were twins, the brother above them was only 21 months when they were born. Honestly it was difficult but not as bad as I thought it would be.
My DH quit kollel to study and get a job because we thought I wouldn't be able to work (I advise not making any rash decisions while you're still shocked). In the end he went back to kollel bH after we realized my work was unaffected.
We had no outside help and we managed just fine. They had some bottles at night so I could take turns with DH to sleep (something I wouldn't have done with my singletons). I even worked part time and studied for exams with them home for a few months, then sent them out just for mornings at maybe 8 months? They kept each other busy even when very small. My twins are one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's exciting, enjoy it all.
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amother
Chambray
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 1:07 am
Huge bracha!
Give yourself time to let the news sink in. Tell your worries a fears that you are presently busy as you are processing the news. They can come back later.
Then after you’ve taken more breaths, you’ll tackle the practical end of things. The emotional things you’ll deal with in due time.
Hashem sent us so much bracha in our home when our twins were born.
The first bracha we felt was an extra dose of joy. It was tangible. It affected the whole family. Bh we got through the huge expenses too. Ours are our youngest of double digit family, bh.
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amother
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:29 am
| flowerpower wrote: | | You have 9 months to prepare and plan and do research. Your older child will have 2 best friends instead of 1. Look into a night nurse once they are born. Nothing like a good night of sleep |
I know I feel like that's the only way we'll manage is with a night nurse. But how do people afford that?!?
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amother
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:36 am
| amother Mauve wrote: | My third and fourth were twins, the brother above them was only 21 months when they were born. Honestly it was difficult but not as bad as I thought it would be.
My DH quit kollel to study and get a job because we thought I wouldn't be able to work (I advise not making any rash decisions while you're still shocked). In the end he went back to kollel bH after we realized my work was unaffected.
We had no outside help and we managed just fine. They had some bottles at night so I could take turns with DH to sleep (something I wouldn't have done with my singletons). I even worked part time and studied for exams with them home for a few months, then sent them out just for mornings at maybe 8 months? They kept each other busy even when very small. My twins are one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's exciting, enjoy it all. |
Thanks for the encouragement!! My biggest worry is that I literally have no familial support even though I have family living nearby..So I'll have to work something out some other way...
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amother
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:40 am
| amother Chambray wrote: | Huge bracha!
Give yourself time to let the news sink in. Tell your worries a fears that you are presently busy as you are processing the news. They can come back later.
Then after you’ve taken more breaths, you’ll tackle the practical end of things. The emotional things you’ll deal with in due time.
Hashem sent us so much bracha in our home when our twins were born.
The first bracha we felt was an extra dose of joy. It was tangible. It affected the whole family. Bh we got through the huge expenses too. Ours are our youngest of double digit family, bh. |
Thank you for this!! I love how positive everyone is being about having twins.
I think I'm just getting extra scared because my husband started panicking last night too saying we can't do this..this is too much...
Probably just the shock of the news but was too much to deal with along with my own nerves.
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amother
Cerulean
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:48 am
Years ago I bumped into an acquaintance. She had just come from an OB appointment when she found out she was having twins. I'm not so close to her but she told me as a way of dealing with her shock and even fear.
Now that it's years later, this twins are a normal part of her life and she can't imagine her family without them.
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amother
Sapphire
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:56 am
Prepare to accept all help offered to you.
Can I help you in any way?
Let me know what I can do
Yes, please. Would you take a shift of three hours-preferably by night….
B’Shaah Tova!
I’d also be in shock and super nervous
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amother
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 7:06 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Thanks for the encouragement!! My biggest worry is that I literally have no familial support even though I have family living nearby..So I'll have to work something out some other way... | I hear and we felt the same - it seems so crazy to imagine two babies at once, until they arrive and it just somehow works out and they fit in!
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amother
Forestgreen
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 7:07 am
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My twins are the biggest gift. Super hard at first and very overwhelming but an incredible privilege. There’s something so beautiful in their relationship and as a mother I just feel so lucky to have the opportunity. It will be ok. And more than that.
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amother
Poppy
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 1:05 pm
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My twins were #4 and #5 and my oldest was still 4 when they were born! For me, the pregnancy was the hardest part of all. It was really challenging. But now BH they give us so much joy, I would almost be willing to go through the pregnancy again to have another set lol
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TwinsMommy
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Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:41 pm
like the previous poster, pregnancy was the hard part. For me it was 15 weeks of bedrest, cracked ribs, a VERY early effaced cervix, gestational diabetes---- so my bedrest was spent checking my blood sugars, taking meds, eating, vomiting, napping, lather rinse repeat.
Once my twins were born (almost 18 years ago)! I felt so physically fabulous having my body back and was so happy after so many infertility treatments that I just slipped through those early years on cloud nine. For ME, it wasn't hard. Not as hard as pregnancy. And DEFINITELY not as hard as having teenagers (I know my situation is unusual!) HOWEVER, I didn't have an older child(ren). I think THAT's the rougher part. I kept them on the same schedule until it was clear I couldn't (when he went from two naps to one as a toddler, she wasn't ready.... when he went to no naps, she wasn't ready.....). So as infants they ate at the same time (mostly me crossed legged between bouncy seats when they were old enough), slept at the same time, bathed at the same time. The community provided meals for a few weeks and that was wonderful but no, I didn't have shifts of helpers or family or a night nurse etc).
Preparation is key...... prepare feeds 20 minutes before you anticipate the crying to begin if you can (pump and have milk ready in bottles or mix formula in bottles ahead of time, or prep by learning quickly how to nurse two at once (there are various holds). Have diapers and wipes on all levels of the house, have a diaper bag ready to go at all times with bottles and milk, diapers and wipes, burp cloths, clothing changes, toys, plus your wallet and keys---- so you just have to grab clean babies and your cell phone on your way to the diaper bag. Stroller already in the car.
Have your older child spend special time with you when you do have a sitter home with the babies. Also have him grab diapers and wipes for you, burp cloths, etc---- the older kids love helping!
B'shaah tovah, hatzlacha!
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1023
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Sat, Sep 07 2024, 9:41 pm
Our twins were our first so definitely easier but- bshaa tova, it’s going to be a beautiful journey & so worthwhile  3
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