If you nursed your twins for a long time...

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Nov 17 2024, 12:04 am

...Can I get your advice? Smile

My twins are about 16 months now BH and (I'm still amazed at this, please tell me how amazing I am, thank you) I am nursing them 2x/day (just downgraded from 3x about a week ago)

I'm running into this situation where they start fighting with each other in the middle of nursing...it sounds a little crazy but I feel like I'm in uncharted territory (I actually can't think of anyone I know who nursed their twins for this long, and I'm curious about it, hence the poll) and need some advice!

It usually starts after the first minute or two when they are not as focused on the nursing and can get distracted...they bop/scratch/pinch/grab each other's hands/arms/sleeves/heads, and then I try to stop them by holding their hands or something, which usually offends the one who usually nurses for a shorter time anyways and he has a tantrum right there on the nursing pillow while his brother smirks and keeps nursing...they're actually quite entertaining lol

Also when did you stop nursing and did you feel like they were both ready to stop, or just one of them, or neither and it was just you who needed a break?
One of them really really loves nursing so I would feel bad stopping even if the other one isn't as enthusiastic, though he definitely doesn't seem to mind continuing Smile

but I am kind of ready to stop...

Looking forward to hearing from all you wise twin mamas out there!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 17 2024, 12:08 am

Adding that I intend the poll to be for those who nursed their twins significantly, meaning that the weaning process was more of a typical weaning after an established nursing experience, if that makes sense. (not to knock anyone who wasn't successful with their nursing - I know it's extremely hard!)

amother

Steel ↓

Sun, Nov 17 2024, 1:14 am

I stopped nursing them at the same time, they seemed annoyed that they didn't have enough space. Can you try that? Give them both quality time, maybe sit one next to you with a snack or book, or away from you if easier with some kind of distraction? Like snack in a high chair or a fun toy just for then?

amother

Mulberry

Sun, Nov 17 2024, 2:05 am

would you wean the one who is less interested and continue with the one who still wants?

I stopped nursing my twins around a year (actually same for all my babies) but I stopped first naturally with the one who just didn’t want anymore. The other followed a few weeks later.

amother

Lightgray

Sun, Nov 17 2024, 8:02 am

Yeah your superwoman you made this far

I wonder if you can make it a thing that you only nurse them separately from now on. It's a very good habit to get into to start giving them individual attention . It just gets more important as they get older.

The advice when their babies just do everything together. Sync their schedules. Treat them like one person. And that is survival for the first year or so. But afterwards it's really important to help them differentiate. And it's also possible that's why they're fighting because they're starting to compete for your attention.

Of course, they're not going to like this idea. But after a few days they might realize it's worth waiting for their turn because then they get mommy's undivided attention.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Nov 17 2024, 1:16 pm

Thank you all for your input and accolades! Wink

I tandem nurse more out of necessity than anything else...for sure in the mornings I don't have the spare five minutes to do them separately, but maybe in the evenings I can let one roam around the room while I nurse the other one. It's also partially laziness that I've nursed so much, I can't imagine the extra steps of filling and washing bottles/sippy cups that would replace the feedings (and one of my twins won't drink milk from a sippy cup, only water...hoping to wear him down eventually!)

I think they have sufficient space, I have a very good nursing pillow.

I am making a more conscious effort to spend individual time with each one. but it is hard!! especially when I have three crying kids trying to sit on my lap at once and only a couple hours to work with after school/work and DH isn't home during their bedtime.

amother

↑ Steel

Sun, Nov 17 2024, 9:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you all for your input and accolades! Wink

I would still nurse them one right after the other even if it means figuring out five extra minutes here and there. You don't get them dressed at the same time! Two kids take more time than one, that's just how it is.

You don't need to replace with bottles if you stop nursing also. I assume they already get sippies of water, that's enough...

The space is more of a psychological thing for them, using a pillow with moving toddlers is probably frustrating for them to begin with.