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Is something wrong with me?
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soproud  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 7:03 pm
This system is a certain kind of conformity which I’m not into.
I dress my kids well but I buy when we need, from wherever I want. Frum stores are not my preference. My kids get lots of compliments, by the way.
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amother
  Red


 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 7:12 pm
Children who are young and growing generally don’t fit into their clothing they wore from a previous season. It does make sense to make sure they have a few things to wear for yomtov or if the weather changes.
You definitely don’t have to buy everyone’s full wardrobes but I think it makes sense to buy a few things.
For example, let’s say you have a little boy. Right now his short sleeves and short pants fit well. What would you do on succos if it suddenly becomes very cold? A child at that age will not fit into his winter clothing from the previous winter and he will be so cold if he has to wear summer clothes.
Sometimes it just makes sense to buy a few new things before the weather changes. Especially in honor of Yom Tov.
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amother
DarkKhaki


 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 7:20 pm
amother OP wrote:
I never shop early for things. I wait and then buy on sale. I usually still find matching. If not, I buy only what there is.

I don't get the shopping early. You don't really need winter in aug/sept. Maybe by succos. But right after everything goes on sale.

My kids manage with stuff in the closet.
Anyways, there's always newer stuff. And old styles become nerdy. So what's this rush to buy?

I also don't understand some of the new styles. Do people by it cuz it's in, or they actually like it?

I have a hard time finding the current arrivals nice, especially shabbos stuff. Cheap fabrics, weird styles, and prints that I can't look at more than once.

Maybe there's something very wrong with me.


lol OP I’m the same and thankfully so is my community for the most part. We just don’t care !!! Hurray for different priorities
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  giftedmom  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 7:57 pm
amother Zinnia wrote:
Color from Jewish companies or non Jewish? I’ve barely seen color from frum brands the year but maybe I’ve missed it

There’s a ton of red, burgundy, cream etc.
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  giftedmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 8:00 pm
soproud wrote:
This system is a certain kind of conformity which I’m not into.
I dress my kids well but I buy when we need, from wherever I want. Frum stores are not my preference. My kids get lots of compliments, by the way.

If I were you I wouldn’t davka be proud of the fact that you’re choosing to spend on kids clothes but also choosing to give that money to possible antisemites or at best big corporations rather than members of the community.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 10:05 pm
Well my kids are currently wearing short sleeves short dresses and short pants.
They gonna need winter clothes at some point no?
May as well be new for the holidays.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 10:38 pm
amother Nemesia wrote:
Nothing is wrong with you and I don't think you think anything is either. I think you are (not so subtle) trying to put down people who do different than you.

These shopping and fashion threads are exhausting already..


I'm not putting anyone down. I hear so much about shopping, not only here, but IRL.

I was feeling maybe I'm behind everyone, so I and went to the stores today. But I couldn't bring myself to spend. The styles were weird to me (I probably don't have the best sense of fashion, so no offense)

I also felt why should I spend now on velour and winter if it's not so cold yet. I can wait till after succos, when the stores have some discounts.

I have one big girl, handful of boys after her, and the little ones are girls. They can wear a simple black jumper with a cardigan or just an all year round dress. They don't like long robes. Boys are in black n white.

It's like it just "clicked" in my mind that everyone knows to shop now. I never "chapped" or had that pressure, even with a big girl. (Possibly bc I grew up with BT parents and they didn't know the rules)

I only buy when we really need something, and when it's a good sale. But then I'm thinking maybe I'm such a nerd for being behind most people.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 10:41 pm
amother Firebrick wrote:
Well my kids are currently wearing short sleeves short dresses and short pants.
They gonna need winter clothes at some point no?
May as well be new for the holidays.


You are right. My kids do have long sleeves.
The only ones that had short sleeves were the boys' shirts. But they have both.
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 10:44 pm
I never like the new stuff when it hits the shelf. I start liking it by the time it's starting to go out of style.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Sep 05 2024, 10:46 pm
amother Red wrote:
I never knew about this shopping thing at this time of year until my kids started getting older. Buying clothes was literally not even an errand on my list of things to do this time of year (and before pesach). I didn’t grow up like that.
Im embarrassed that my kids looked socially off when they were little. I just didn’t know that dressing kids in new clothing each season was a thing.
I learned very slowly. Even though I don’t agree, I also don’t want my kids to stand out in a community where appearance matters.
Now my kids are teens and getting new things is very important. One of my girls is extremely thin and on the shorter side so she has a very hard time finding clothing. She wouldn’t have anything new if we wouldn’t be combing the stores now when the new things come in. Sometimes we find something she likes but the size she needs is long gone. So we have to shop when the new things come out.
When I wanted to match my kids when they were little, I couldn’t find the sizes if I waited for sales. Forget the sales. I couldn’t even find matching sizes if I shopped after Rosh hashana.
Obviously I live in an area where appearance is important. I don’t agree with it so you will never find me buying anything just because it’s a name brand. I literally feel bad for people who dress their kids with name brands splashed across their clothes. It’s so sad that this is what makes them feel good about themselves.
I like the neat, clean and current style look without showing off.
I wish all this gashmius would just go away.


I can relate a lot and agree with your post.
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  soproud




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 4:29 am
giftedmom wrote:
If I were you I wouldn’t davka be proud of the fact that you’re choosing to spend on kids clothes but also choosing to give that money to possible antisemites or at best big corporations rather than members of the community.



The frum stores get plenty of my support for weddings and Shabbat clothing.
If my toddler needs new leggings, I don’t rush to the frum stores first. I can get those anywhere.
But back to the original point, maybe my kids grow at a different pace and don’t need a new wardrobe with each new season. This works for my family.
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amother
  Orchid


 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:00 am
amother OP wrote:
I'm not putting anyone down. I hear so much about shopping, not only here, but IRL.

I was feeling maybe I'm behind everyone, so I and went to the stores today. But I couldn't bring myself to spend. The styles were weird to me (I probably don't have the best sense of fashion, so no offense)

I also felt why should I spend now on velour and winter if it's not so cold yet. I can wait till after succos, when the stores have some discounts.

I have one big girl, handful of boys after her, and the little ones are girls. They can wear a simple black jumper with a cardigan or just an all year round dress. They don't like long robes. Boys are in black n white.

It's like it just "clicked" in my mind that everyone knows to shop now. I never "chapped" or had that pressure, even with a big girl. (Possibly bc I grew up with BT parents and they didn't know the rules)

I only buy when we really need something, and when it's a good sale. But then I'm thinking maybe I'm such a nerd for being behind most people.

By us it will be cold already sukkos so I need to get warmer clothes for sukkos. I am not running around shopping later because I will be too busy with other things. I generally shop last winter season sales in the spring so I have for growing kids the next winter. If I need extras it is being bought now.
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amother
Lightcyan


 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:07 am
amother OP wrote:
I'm not putting anyone down. I hear so much about shopping, not only here, but IRL.

I was feeling maybe I'm behind everyone, so I and went to the stores today. But I couldn't bring myself to spend. The styles were weird to me (I probably don't have the best sense of fashion, so no offense)

I also felt why should I spend now on velour and winter if it's not so cold yet. I can wait till after succos, when the stores have some discounts.

I have one big girl, handful of boys after her, and the little ones are girls. They can wear a simple black jumper with a cardigan or just an all year round dress. They don't like long robes. Boys are in black n white.

It's like it just "clicked" in my mind that everyone knows to shop now. I never "chapped" or had that pressure, even with a big girl. (Possibly bc I grew up with BT parents and they didn't know the rules)

I only buy when we really need something, and when it's a good sale. But then I'm thinking maybe I'm such a nerd for being behind most people.
And your big girl is ok with that?
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amother
Marigold


 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:09 am
giftedmom wrote:
There’s nothing wrong except you probably have only little kids that grow very predictably. Let’s talk in a couple years.

Seriously, OP never once mentioned the ages of her kids. Besides lok how many posters with kids of all ages agree with her! I'm like her too, really not into this season fashion and also prefer to do my shopping later or give my money to antisemitic people(something that really made me roll my eyes)
I mean, come on! I haven't seen anyone attacking you personally for choosing to shop expensive or in exclusively frum shops yet you keep doing it to all of us who disagree with you.
Lighten up! No need to get so defensive!

I'd remind you again that it's very community dependent but I don't need you telling me to get off my high horse again Wink
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amother
  OP


 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 9:00 am
amother Lightcyan wrote:
And your big girl is ok with that?


She shops all year! BH not demanding..Whenever she finds a good deal, something she loves, or if a friend wants to go out with her.
And sometimes she comes home emptyhanded.

But thankfully she can shop for herself now. I'm not sure how she grew up ok, with me not buying the new seasons stuff.

I honestly didn't know that's what everyone does. It may be that I'm realizing it now with my younger girls, and will have to deal with this. I'm feeling tired already.
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amother
Iris


 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 9:44 am
amother Zinnia wrote:
Not true, op I have a very good fashion sense and I’m very stylish and I only like a handful of Jewish companies. I find a lot of them drab and boring, no personality at all
I shop some Jewish and a lot online and find beautiful European things that actually look like kids clothes instead of black brown or gray. Dw you’re more than good

Hi Can you share which European brands you shop? Sounds interesting.
Thanx!
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readreread




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 1:36 pm
There is nothing wrong with spending your own money in a way that makes sense for you and your family. That goes for you as well as for others. If you don't care about trends, more power to you!
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amother
  Nemesia


 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 2:17 pm
giftedmom wrote:
If I were you I wouldn’t davka be proud of the fact that you’re choosing to spend on kids clothes but also choosing to give that money to possible antisemites or at best big corporations rather than members of the community.

Do you own a frum clothing shop?

This may be true is we're comparing apples and apples. Then sure, buy Jewish. But with prices easily double a pieced for lower end clothing... no, only if I have no other choice.
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amother
Snow


 

Post Fri, Sep 06 2024, 3:35 pm
amother Red wrote:
Children who are young and growing generally don’t fit into their clothing they wore from a previous season. It does make sense to make sure they have a few things to wear for yomtov or if the weather changes.
You definitely don’t have to buy everyone’s full wardrobes but I think it makes sense to buy a few things.
For example, let’s say you have a little boy. Right now his short sleeves and short pants fit well. What would you do on succos if it suddenly becomes very cold? A child at that age will not fit into his winter clothing from the previous winter and he will be so cold if he has to wear summer clothes.
Sometimes it just makes sense to buy a few new things before the weather changes. Especially in honor of Yom Tov.


Exactly.

My baby outgrew his summer clothes.

He can wear already long sleeves and pants and thinner knits. It's not that hot anyways.
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amother
Peony  


 

Post Sat, Sep 07 2024, 12:04 pm
amother OP wrote:


I also felt why should I spend now on velour and winter if it's not so cold yet. I can wait till after succos, when the stores have some discounts.


This is where I feel differently. It's not the pressure to buy before Sukkos. Yes, of course I can wait until after and buy sale.
(Personally I buy mostly end of season things the year before because my kids are still little and predictable)
It's Lkavod YT that I buy before YT. The years that the end of season items didn't work I went to the cheaper frum stores or ordered from AliSpecials/AliPicks because I davka want them Lkavod YT.

It's embarrassing to YT to wear worn out end of season clothing (that's already been worn and washed for months)

If your things look like new at the end of an entire season- please give me laundry lessons.
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