I have anorexia AMA

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I have anorexia AMA

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amother

↑ Catmint ↓

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 7:17 pm

amother Babyblue wrote:

What do you think of fat people? Do you think we’re pigs… have low self control etc?

Some ppl have it genetically. Someone in my school had it genetically and unfortunately passed away at 20.

amother

↑ Mustard ↓

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 8:18 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

Some ppl have it genetically. Someone in my school had it genetically and unfortunately passed away at 20.

What do you mean by genetically?

amother

↑ Catmint ↓

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 8:23 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

What do you mean by genetically?

One of her parents or both not sure.
And all of her siblings. It makes it impossible for them to loose weight no matter how hard they try. (Maybe a surgery would work for them but again that’s the docs decision as it probably won’t work.)

amother

↑ Mustard

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 8:28 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

What caused her to pass away so young?

amother

↑ Catmint

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 8:29 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

What caused her to pass away so young?

The illness from being very overweight.

amother

↑ Babyblue

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 8:35 pm

Most overweight people are genetically predisposed to it. Bodies do come in all shapes…
I’m asking how someone with anorexia views overweight people.

amother

↑ Blushpink ↓

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 11:55 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

It's been a long time since the last post here, but what can I do, I just read it now!

OP, Blushpink, and all others with anorexia who are "too far gone":
I am so so thankful to Hashem that He took me out of anorexia. I felt like I was so out of control, because I couldn't control myself enough to eat the way I knew that I should. And the one controlling me was...myself!
And after almost killing myself to get thin, guess what - I still wasn't happy! It's very painful.

Thank you for your willingness to be open and honest. You described yourself so clearly and eloquently. In some ways, I understood parts of myself better by reading your posts.

Your apathy is heartbreaking. Makes me want to scream!
Nothing is ever too late. 20 years is not forever.

Hashem gave you a very big challenge.
Don't give up! Fight!!!! Get help!

I’m amother blushpink,
If only someone can give me prope guidance. I have no energy left to even do the necessary research. My life is way to busy as it is……

amother

↑ Blushpink

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 11:58 pm

amother Babyblue wrote:

Most overweight people are genetically predisposed to it. Bodies do come in all shapes…
I’m asking how someone with anorexia views overweight people.

I’m not original poster but I have never judged a person by their weight. It is all about my own weight.

PrairieFairy ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 12:08 am

amother Blushpink wrote:

I’m amother blushpink,
If only someone can give me prope guidance. I have no energy left to even do the necessary research. My life is way to busy as it is……

I recovered from anorexia (and bulimia and compulsive exercising). It took me years to figure out a way out, but once I found a way that logically made sense to me AND the eating disorder (the ED brain has to trust it to even be willing to try it)...I got out.

Life is amazing. My relationship with my food and body is great. I help people with this as well and it's a refreshing and different approach (so easier for the ED brain to be willing).

I am MORE than happy to share some things with you! You can PM me. There's another way! I've definitely been in that space of just being exhausted and overwhelmed from everything and not being able to even consider recovery but also feeling trapped.

It's a difficult place to be. Sending hugs and a reminder that you're worthy of an abundant life!

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 6:17 am

PrairieFairy, would you be interested in sharing some of your ideas here? It sounds interesting.

↑ PrairieFairy ↓

Fri, Jul 26 2024, 3:39 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

PrairieFairy, would you be interested in sharing some of your ideas here? It sounds interesting.

Sure. I'd prefer private messaging for more in depth as it's easier to talk about it. Happy to share my number and discuss to see if my way works for you/the person you care about.

But in short, it's coming at it from a different angle. It's using the food/body struggles as a window into a room that is you/your inner child/basic human needs, and then starting there as opposed to the food.

The food is just a solution that we/people are using to fix something else. Starting at the something else is typically easier for someone in an ED (in my experience).

Back when, I didn't get professional help because I was worried they would just tell me that what I'm doing is not healthy and I need to eat more/less (depends on the issue) etc but I wasn't willing to let go of that.

Gotta start where there IS willingness and in the beginning that is NOT with the food. Besides, if we don't (again ime) address the foundational things, the food resolutions are just white-knuckling. It's why so many who go to rehab are continuous visitors there, it's "forcing" a food resolution instead of coming at it from the foundation.

It can be scary to not feel like you're "addressing" the food situation at first (if it's for someone you care about) BUT for the person in it, it feels way safer. And the benefit is that dealing with the foundation will have a longer term impact with less work and will affect the food for the benefit because it creates safety for the ED to not feel defensive/shut down.

I don't have much experience with conventional professional help, as like I mentioned, that was scary for my ED and when I did try, it was exactly what I though (you have to eat more, you're crazy if you think you're fat, etc...without addressing the WHY so it pushed me further into my ED because proved that conventional people are not trustworthy while the ED is and they want to take thar away...this led to less willingness and more insistence on ED stuff).

In short, the approach is considering the ED thoughts. Best done with someone who has been there themselves or SUPER experienced/familiar with the thoughts. Regular logic about food doesn't work. Have to come at it from an angle where the ED feels safe and then eventually isn't needed as opposed to being forced to be given up/taken away.

Hope that helps and that you have hatzlacha in recovery for you/the person you're asking about!

amother

↑ Raspberry

Sat, Jul 27 2024, 5:57 pm

Thanks. I was wondering if you'd say something I didn't know yet.
It's really impressive that you were able to work out that approach.

I didn't know that official ED programs don't address the underlying factor of what the person gains (pun) out of having an ED. I saw a psychologist for a while. Towards the end of the time I saw her, when I was getting better b"H, I came in one day and she asked the usual, "How are you doing?" I responded that I hadn't felt like eating that week. She said, "You're a pro at this already. What's the fear?"
It's been years since that session, but these days, when I don't feel like eating, I ask myself, "What's the fear?" When I can identify what is bothering me, I try to think of healthy ways of dealing with that fear.

So for all you out there who are concerned that seeking professional help is going to be all about force-feeding, you can speak to the practitioner beforehand about their approach to working through the underlying issues. May Hashem help you!

amother

Fern

Sat, Jul 27 2024, 11:10 pm

PrairieFairy wrote:

I'm so glad for you!
My question is, how to you recover without eating? How do you even have the physical and mental strength?

↑ PrairieFairy

Sun, Jul 28 2024, 9:41 am

amother Fern wrote:

I'm so glad for you!
My question is, how to you recover without eating? How do you even have the physical and mental strength?

Start with the easiest things first. They add up and help the next steps be easier as well.

Most people with eating disorders obsess about food and think about it all day. Many watch food videos. Some carefully chosen mukbang videos (which they are probably watching anyway) is a good place to start.

One day I'll have the resources to make my own videos so it's more streamlined, but for today, I know what features I'm looking for in a "recovery minded" ED behavior video. Stephanie Buttermore is a good place to start. Start with the cheat days if you're at that place. Once you feel more of a connection with her, watch the all-in videos. Her experience but mainly the science. It's not exactly the same approach and some subtleties I'd do differently but it's a very very good entry point.

Now, if someone is at the almost comatose level, it's different, but if they're at the "don't have space for heavy work but do have energy for food obsessing videos", slight changes to those can help bring in recovery concepts and makes it overall more welcoming.

Also will bring up questions. So the step after that is to have someone who can answer all the questions/concerns/doubts (about all-in) in a way that is NON-confrontational to the ED brain so that it can be explored, tweaked, and possibly considered as an avenue (like I said, have not found a perfect video on YouTube for the approach I take, so although this can be an entry point, the ED brain will still have questions or doubts. Mainly regarding weight gain).

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