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-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
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 Thu, Jul 18 2024, 11:34 am
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LOL. DD just called me from camp. She paid someone $5 to change her linen for her.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 11:49 am
| amother Iris wrote: | Honestly I spelled it out to her (when she was younger. Like 3 or 4 or 5). I told her that people whose hair isn't washed could get buggies in their hair (lice). And also that people like to be friends with people who are clean and smell nice. (she used to resist the shampooing. We figured out it was about getting her eyes wet, so I used to immediately towel dry her after hair washing.)
As an older teen she tells me she remembers these conversations and she actually appreciates that we had them and that she developed good habits. |
While your overall approach is good, lice love clean hair.
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amother
Ruby
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 11:50 am
You got great advice above. The timing,a hose, a short hair,towel, blow dryer. Step by step hair washing instructions.
What about getting into the shower? What about coming her hair? Does she comb often enough? Does her hair take along time to comb?
Does she have everything needed to wash hair in advance? Could you help her set up? or make a visual checklist.
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miami85
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 12:20 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I do already give her the 2 in 1 shampoo conditioner to eliminate need for two steps.
She did say she likes the smell. |
So depending on her age and the texture of her hair, 2-in-1 may not be enough to really care for her hair. So while it minimizes the steps, among the "task analysis" you may need to figure out if her hair is getting detangled enough with the 2-in-1 that she feels that it's clean.
Another way to get a good measurement of shampoo is using a bottle with a pump and say 1 or 2 pumps that way it stays a controlled amount and she doesn't have to deal with a slippery bottle in the shower.
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dena613
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 12:58 pm
| amother Iris wrote: | Honestly I spelled it out to her (when she was younger. Like 3 or 4 or 5). I told her that people whose hair isn't washed could get buggies in their hair (lice). And also that people like to be friends with people who are clean and smell nice. (she used to resist the shampooing. We figured out it was about getting her eyes wet, so I used to immediately towel dry her after hair washing.)
As an older teen she tells me she remembers these conversations and she actually appreciates that we had them and that she developed good habits. |
Lice has zero to do with clean hair.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 1:11 pm
| miami85 wrote: | So depending on her age and the texture of her hair, 2-in-1 may not be enough to really care for her hair. So while it minimizes the steps, among the "task analysis" you may need to figure out if her hair is getting detangled enough with the 2-in-1 that she feels that it's clean.
Another way to get a good measurement of shampoo is using a bottle with a pump and say 1 or 2 pumps that way it stays a controlled amount and she doesn't have to deal with a slippery bottle in the shower. |
Wow didn’t think of that thanks will analyze it lol
Yes we have pump
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amother
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 2:33 pm
| dena613 wrote: | | Lice has zero to do with clean hair. |
It's a fact that lice thrive in dirty conditions. Just as my grandmother, a holocaust survivor.
It happens to be I grew up in a hygiene-challenged home. And at various times, I and my siblings had lice.
My daughters (I have several) have never had lice BH. In a clean home.
Though one can get lice even with a clean head (especially in hotter climates, etc...), I don't believe hygiene doesn't play a role.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 2:34 pm
| miami85 wrote: | So depending on her age and the texture of her hair, 2-in-1 may not be enough to really care for her hair. So while it minimizes the steps, among the "task analysis" you may need to figure out if her hair is getting detangled enough with the 2-in-1 that she feels that it's clean.
Another way to get a good measurement of shampoo is using a bottle with a pump and say 1 or 2 pumps that way it stays a controlled amount and she doesn't have to deal with a slippery bottle in the shower. |
A leave-in conditioning spray for after the shower can help, if she won't use conditioner.
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Aurora
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 3:20 pm
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OP, your dd could also just put the shampoo on her scalp, and put the conditioner on the length to the ends, and rinse it out together.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 3:25 pm
| amother Iris wrote: | It's a fact that lice thrive in dirty conditions. Just as my grandmother, a holocaust survivor.
It happens to be I grew up in a hygiene-challenged home. And at various times, I and my siblings had lice.
My daughters (I have several) have never had lice BH. In a clean home.
Though one can get lice even with a clean head (especially in hotter climates, etc...), I don't believe hygiene doesn't play a role. |
Incidence of lice has gone down over the years.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 3:36 pm
| amother Gray wrote: | | While your overall approach is good, lice love clean hair. |
Eh, they love my dd's hair and she sounds just like op's dd.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 3:37 pm
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My dd who has adhd also has such a hard time showering. For her, it's hairwashing. Cutting her hair a lot shorter made the difference. Sometimes I will offer to come in just to wash. She usually jumps at that even though she's 10.
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Jul 18 2024, 4:01 pm
I have ADHD and am part of a chat with a bunch of ADHD mothers on it, and one of them recently posted about how exhausting the whole idea of taking a shower is for her, and how much she struggles with it, and dozens of other ADHD moms were chiming in and agreeing with her that it's a huge challenge for them too. So while I personally don't have this struggle, it seems like it's very common for people with ADHD. It's a lot of steps to follow, which takes a lot of energy for someone with executive functioning issues.
I will say that for issues like this, I think taht the best book you can read is called "The Explosive Child." Please don't be turned off by the title. It's really about problem solving with kids who are having a hard time meeting an expectation, and it has some great tips on how to "drill" down to find the trigger, and how to problem solve for it in a creative way. Here's a "drilling cheat sheet" for reference, but there are so many tips in the book itself that I think are even more helpful:
https://livesinthebalance.org/.....0.pdf
(Disclaimer: The author of this book has a pretty extreme viewpoint -- in my opinion -- on parenting. I don't parent according to this book most of the time, but for times I need to problem solve with a child, I find it incredibly helpful.)
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