Is it normal to spend over $100

amother

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:59 am

On sneakers for a teen girl?
She’s been looking around for sneakers for a while….didn’t want anything too showy or too nerdy… or when she did find something she liked it wasn’t comfortable. She’s going to camp soon so she really needs to get something.
She finally found a pair that she likes but I wasn’t prepared to spend $115.
I did spend a lot on her school shoes but she wore them the whole year. This is only for a few weeks…
I could afford it but hate to spend unnecessarily.
What should I do?

amother

Yarrow

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:09 am

No its not really normal but people have made it normal and now that "everybody" does it, who wants to tell their kids no. Same like a lot of our standards are not really normal but everybody needs to do the same thing as everyone else and people are scared to be a bit different.

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:12 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

Yes it’s normal if you have the means no reason not to do it. It’s not crazy to spend that. People spend way more than that on sneakers like 300 range. This is low end.

I don’t even know we’re to begin.
If you have the means no reason not to? If this is your attitude you will very quickly not have the means. What is the lesson you are teaching your DD with that attitude?
I assume you are either very young and very comfortable or very young and not comfortable at all and assume people who have some money can just throw it around.

I’m not saying that she shouldn’t buy the sneakers, there are so many factors to consider, but the attitude you present about it is baffling to me.

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:14 am

amother Yarrow wrote:

This

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:19 am

amother Mimosa wrote:

Yeah I see no reason to say no to my child for things that aren’t a huge deal. What I’m gonna run around looking to save $20 on the shoes because it horrifies me? My attitude is I don’t make my kids miserable on principle. If I have the money, they looked a while for shoes, finally found shoes they like, I’m not going to make them miserable. They mean more to me than a few dollars. In today’s day and age things cost a lot. We can’t be stuck in early 2000s mentality of omg it costs more than $20.

Anyone who has teens think long and hard about how often you say no and if you really should be straining your relationship for a few dollars. If you don’t have the means that’s a different story I’m only talking about not spending because you don’t feel like it.

In this case she had a hard time finding shoes, why would you add more aggravation to a stressful situation?

amother

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:23 am

I DID give her a budget. Under $75 but really hoping she will find something for around $50.
It’s only for a few weeks in the summer…
Yes, I can afford it but for years I couldn’t have even considered this type of purchase so I’m very used to being conscious about spending carefully.
Just because I have the money doesn’t make it right to spend on something that doesn’t make sense.
Unless I’M not making sense, which is why I was asking here..
She’s not a confident girl and she’s going to a new camp and I do want her to feel good about herself but it’s still a lot of money for sneakers. I think I’m paying for the name brand printed on the side more than for the actual shoe. That’s what really bothers me.

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:25 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

Does anyone know what prices are like nowadays? Show me your list of $20 shoes. This is the economy now.

There's a huge range between $20 and $100. Prices have gone up but that doesn't make $100 sneakers low end.

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:26 am

amother OP wrote:

It’s $25 more than you wanted to spend. It’s worth the splurge in my opinion. She’ll be happy and her happiness is worth the $25. It’s really important for a girl that lacks confidence. She wants to blend in and not look really different.

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:27 am

At this point I might just buy the $100 shoes if I could.afford to, but for the future, give a budget and let her pick what she likes best. It might not be perfect, but it's much better for her to learn to live within a budget than have the absolute perfect clothes and shoes at any price .

amother

Yarrow

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:28 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

This is the type of attitude that raises the standards for everyone and contributes to making frum life unaffordable.

amother

Chambray

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:28 am

We ordered 2 pairs on Amazon and one she didn't like how it looked and one ran way to huge and didn't have smaller sizes left. She ended up finding a pair for cheaper on zappos and she says they are so comfortable and she thinks they are cute. Firstly she plans to wear black socks and they look good with black. They ended up being cheaper than 100 but if she only found cute comfortable sneakers I would've bought them. Last summer the sneakers that we bought on Amazon in 50 dollar range hurt and blistered her foot and I had to.order her sneakers in camp. I ordered her 2 pairs from Walmart and none were great. So ..... her size may not be changing and may work for next year too. Who knows? So moral of the story. You can't always make yourself crazy to save a few dollars.

giftedmom

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:30 am

amother OP wrote:

Put your daughter’s wellbeing above your own principles. Please.