How do you handle..

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

How do you handle..

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amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 1:00 am

A child that has a constant need to talk all the time. He is extremely bright kh and has a constant need to talk and talk and talk which means I have to listen. It’s draining. At the worst times, during the morning rush yesterday he felt the need to give me an in depth rundown on their entire lesson they had that day on species of animals living in Kenya. He is also a sensitive soul and we are so proud of him. I know as it is Simply due to the fact he is way smarter then me and my husband ever were (even still are!) his brain doesn’t get as much stimulation as is needs and he doesn’t have that intellectual connection he probably craves. We have rooms full of books (novels and brain games ie sudoku etc ) and he has private extra tutoring also.
If you made it this far what else can I do so that he doesn’t feel the need to talk to me so much all the time specifically at the times it’s so hard to listen ?!

amother

Maize

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 1:26 am

I tune them out.

I know I might get tomatoes thrown, but it works all right for me.

amother

Stoneblue ↓

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 3:21 am

I teach my kids to observe and learn about when the right time to learn about Kenya vs not. Learning to read a room, to pick up on social cues and develop a sensitivity to what other people are doing and experiencing around you are lifelong skills.

oneofakind

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 3:22 am

Nothing wrong with setting limits. I'd love to listen to you but everyone has to leave on time so let's talk about this when you get home.s

amother

Bluebonnet

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 3:51 am

Should I be embarrassed to say that I had a rule when my son was 9,10,11 that he wasn't allowed to talk to me from 7:30-8:30 at night unless it was an emergency?

gibberish

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 3:53 am

I give a set times when he can tell me and I will focus. Otherwise if he talks he knows I won't be paying attention

:)iknowit ↓

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 4:01 am

amother Stoneblue wrote:

I would love to hear how you do this. Can you pm me?

↑ :)iknowit

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 4:05 am

Op wanna set our kids up?? I’ll tell her that I’m tired/busy but I’m listening I just can’t respond. She’ll usually continue talking. Other times she’ll say she wants to wait until bed time when we have alone time and can talk to each other.

My daughter only
Talks to adults. Her teachers call me all the time - which I have to tune out more than my child. I work hard on remembering that I love her the way she is and don’t need her to fit in so whatever they’re saying is irrelevant to me.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 4:15 am

:)iknowit wrote:

I respect not "needing" to have your kid fot in, but giving her the tools to successfully navigate social situations is important and separate from "needing to fit in".

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 4:44 am

He is not lacking in social skills at all. He can read social qs perfectly fine that’s not the issue here. I guess it doesn’t help that I have a bunch of young kids and so life in general is so busy that he just doesn’t really get as much time as he ever needs 😞
He is bursting with so much to share he just wants to let it out and I don’t wanna shoot him down and hurt his feelings

amother

Wine

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 5:02 am

amother OP wrote:

You can tell him as amother above said, that it's a really hard time for you to focus on the conversation right now because xyz.

But in addition, try to set aside time during the day that he knows you ARE focused on him. Maybe the first half hour when he comes home from school, or tell him he can keep you company while you prepare supper, fold laundry or whatever.

Don't set an official clock, but inside your own head, try to focus on him for a period of time during the day.

As long as he feels that there is a time when you can focus on him, I think it's fine to tell him at other times that you can't. In the big picture, it's a good thing that he's looking to you for connection.

amother

↑ Stoneblue

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 5:58 am

:)iknowit wrote:

I would love to hear how you do this. Can you pm me?

“precious Girl (what I call her) I’m so glad that you’ve learned so much about Kenya and I’d love to hear about it, but right now I’m trying to get the baby ready to take to daycare. Can we make some time this evening (after baby is in bed) to talk about it? “

“Baby girl, I love hearing about the latest Princess Sofia episode but I really need to focus on getting dinner together”

I also do it for my husband

Daddy would love to hear about xyz but he’s rushing out to shul now. So you see that helps tying to do that?

We also talk about starting sentences with ‘when you’re done doing x can we do y’
Or
‘When you have a few minutes can we xyz’
Or
‘Is it a good time to do x?’

But honestly my 3 year old does this. He says, when you’re finished making salad can you help me with my train Tracks

To Me it’s about learning impulse control and to notice the needs of others as well as theirs

amother

Carnation

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 6:00 am

Tell him to write his thoughts down if he feels he can’t wait. You have to set times to listen or just tune it out and nod your head. It’s not doable to be available all day for that.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 6:03 am

Just say you need some quiet time and you'll be excited to hear all about it later.

mushkamothers

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 7:08 am

Give him a notebook, let him start a journal

amother

Snowdrop

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 8:50 am

This is my thread https://www.imamother.com/foru.....76773
If you’re looking for empathy Wink

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