How would you handle this money

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amother

↑ Hotpink

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 12:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

It feels wrong somehow to benefit off of his pain. On the other hand, people are urging us to look into it, saying what do you have to lose.

You're not benefiting off his pain. If the money legally belongs to the child, you won't be able to touch it.
You should reach out to a competent lawyer.

Goldie613

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 12:23 pm

Just a guess, consult a lawyer, but my initial breakdown would look like this =

Medical bills covered first

Any PT/OT/specialist care needed post hospitalization covered next

Any medical equipment you needed to buy or rent - even temporarily - gets covered

Any lost wages you had because you took off from work to take care of your little one should go back to you. Same with additional childcare/nursing care that was needed for the injured child, as well as additional childcare for the other kids during this time (for example, extra babysitting for your other kids because you couldn't be with them because you were at the hospital with your little one).

Any other expenses that directly tie in with this incident go back to you (take out food beyond the norm, car service/ubers to the hospital, extra hours for workers at home or for your business that was added on because you were tied up with the baby more than usual, etc)

The lawsuit may include something for parents' pain and suffering, which would go to you

If any follow up care will be needed, even short term, put money aside for that now

As for the rest, I do think some should get put aside for the kid down the road. I think to a large degree it depends the kid's age - a 15 year old, who was aware of the medical situation and whose daily life was greatly affected by it while this was going on? I would say this kid should get most/all of the rest, but with most of it put away for when the kid is older. I am less sure that applies to a baby, who will hopefully have no memories of any of this. Maybe put away a nice amount for the baby's future, think bar mitzvah (as someone else already suggested), wedding, college, etc. But I'm not sure beyond that. Part of the issue becomes if this baby has more luxuries than his siblings as a child (goes to camp for longer, has better toys/clothes, etc) it's going to lead to jealousy and not be a great situation overall. Maybe put an additional chunk aside for when the baby is 21 or 25 or something, so he will get some additional funds that might set up his life more comfortably as an adult, but other than that? I'm just not sure how it works, but I'm guessing a lawyer could advise you

(Note - you may want to speak to an accountant too - I have no idea how something like this affects your taxes or any benefits you may currently be receiving)

amother

Sand ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 12:38 pm

I was in a bad accident as a child were I had a hard recovery but no long lasting effects or much memory of it. My parents got a small settlement.
They used it toward buying me furniture to setup my house and gave me the rest saying to use it toward a down payment.

amother

↑ Sand

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 12:40 pm

If the lawsuit is purely for parental distress then really the parents are the ones pained in the claim and not the child

The money is being given for your own emotional stress.

amother

DarkKhaki ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 12:50 pm

Consult an attorney and then make a decision.

Is there some reason you are reluctant to sue?

FWIW medical malpractice cases are difficult to pursue and it is hard to get an attorney who is willing to even take it on as they are expensive to pursue.

Would the treatment have prevented the operation or just prevented it being an emergency?

Any settlement you get will be paid to your health insurance company to the extent they paid for medical expenses.

amother

Daffodil

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:02 pm

I don't see the reason to spend the time and hassle suing if there was no damage to your child.
Thank Hashem that all is well and move on with your life.

amother

NeonBlue

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:24 pm

From my personal experience, we couldn't find a lawyer willing to sue. There were lasting repercussions of medical malpractice but I still retained ability in the affected area. If u lose a life or limb, maybe but otherwise lawsuits aren't so simple.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:40 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

Something went wrong during a prior (supposedly routine and uncomplicated) surgery which resulted in the need for another, more complicated procedure. Bh a thousand times over, we were concerned, didnt delay going to the hospital, and got there before he got into possibly fatal danger to have emergency surgery to correct the issue.
We don't have any expenses related to it, and the only reason to sue would be why not. I dont feel comfortable suing for the financial gain, I do wonder how a doctor can be held accountable though.

amother

↑ Mulberry

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 3:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you’re simply looking to hold the doctor accountable, you can report him to the board of licensing in your state.

amother

Lilac ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:45 pm

My parents sued for us after we were in a car accident in a car service. We got 20k -around 20 years ago. My father said he is using that $$ to marry us off. 2 years ago out of the blue he asked us to come over and he gave us the $$ the I was buying a house then so supper he’ll but 20k then is more like 100k now but whatever. Also my sister got awarded 1/2 and I had really damages and she didn’t. They shelled us to useless pt for years for it. I really really hated it

amother

↑ Lilac

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:54 pm

double

amother

Mocha

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:45 pm

Doesn’t sound like you have much of a case.

amother

↑ DarkKhaki

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

I am not a malpractice lawyer.

However - and based on the very limited facts stated - you would probably have a difficult time finding anyone to take your case.

The reason is that malpractice is difficult to prove and it isn't enough that a procedure resulted in a bad outcome. You need to prove that the doctor or medical provider was negligent or the procedure was done in a manner that was woefully below the standards of a competent doctor. It isn't that they weren't a "great" doctor but that they did something that was demonstrably a significant error or mistake.

This is generally very difficult to prove and it is unlikely that a lawyer would agree to take the case especially since there aren't really damages except that you had to go for an emergency procedure.

You can report this to your state's medical licensing board and theoretically they will review the case. But unless the doctor has a pattern of bad medical care or there was something egregiously wrong, they will probably find that the doctor acted within the bounds of acceptable medical care.

amother

Junglegreen

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:51 pm

Before I even considered suing the hospital we asked a respected rav a list of questions. I would definitely advise you to do the same.

amother

Petunia

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 6:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

There are significant risks to any procedure or surgery, even if they are routine. You literally signed a consent before the surgery which stated this. The fact that you needed another emergency surgery because of a complication during the first doesn't give you grounds to sue. Only if you can prove that the Dr during the first surgery was woefully negligent which is an impossibly high bar to prove.

These types of things literally happen almost daily at high volume hospitals. There does not seem like you have any grounds to sue.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 6:59 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

Thank you for this explanation.
I am happy to put to rest the question of whether or not we should even try Smile

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