How do you handle eye contact when walking down the street?

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amother

OP ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 3:26 am

Let’s say it’s a total stranger and they are walking towards you?

Or it’s an acquaintance but you see them already from a few houses away.

At what point do you make eye contact?
Do you totally ignore if it’s a stranger?

amother

Babypink

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 4:36 am

Sometimes I nod or say good morning or smile. Sometimes I look around till I’m somewhat closer to them or I smile from farther away, depending on how well I know them.

amother

Antiquewhite

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 4:50 am

That's what mobile phones are for, so you can pretend not to see anyone and no need to catch their eye.

amother

Bronze

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 9:12 am

Following. I usually smile when they are close but the whole minute till they get to be 10 feet in front is awkward and usually will look away for a time.

giftedmom

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 9:14 am

You must not live near me lol there are 10-20 strangers facing me at any given time we all just go about our business

amother

Cyclamen ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 9:28 am

Why avoid eye contact? If you could make eye contact then they obviously see you too. Smile, maybe say hello or good morning. Don't make it awkward.

Also, as yidden, we are supposed to greet people in a friendly manner, and should strive to be the first to offer a greeting. It's even in the shulchan aruch.

amother

Banana

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 9:35 am

Following

amother

↑ Cyclamen

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 9:36 am

amother Banana wrote:

Following

You can just click to follow at the bottom of the page. Writing following does nothing here.

amother

Lotus

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 10:35 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

You can just click to follow at the bottom of the page. Writing following does nothing here.

It does.
It shows people youre also interested in this, but you dont actually have an answer.

amother

Pink

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 10:58 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

That's what mobile phones are for, so you can pretend not to see anyone and no need to catch their eye.

Oy vey.

Smile at them Smile

Ihatepotatoes

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 11:01 am

amother Banana wrote:

Following

NO! DON'T FOLLOW THEM!!!! That's how I got a restraining order taken out against me...

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 11:03 am

I thought it was a me issue!
the issue is that if you smile at them when you first see them then what you smile and walk towards them for another minute serious, still smiling... it's just awkward all around for me. that's why I prefer walking where I wont see people... and then are there different rules for acquaintances vs strangers vs frum men vs. kids I know (friends of my kids... ) I just can't figure it out.

cheese cake

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 11:17 am

Ihatepotatoes wrote:

NO! DON'T FOLLOW THEM!!!! That's how I got a restraining order taken out against me...

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 11:19 am

amother Bronze wrote:

Following. I usually smile when they are close but the whole minute till they get to be 10 feet in front is awkward and usually will look away for a time.

Yes this is exactly what I am talking about!

amother

Daylily

Sat, Sep 07 2024, 7:30 pm

Hmm pretend you don't notice until they're nearer, then smile or wave..look at their forehead if you feel uncomfortable with eye contact

amother

Black

Sat, Sep 07 2024, 10:41 pm

If it’s someone like my sister, wave frantically and smile until we meet in the middle. Probably also will call out things to each other until we’re close enough to shmooze.

Stranger, look straight ahead, not at them, and when passing, glance at them and say good shabbos.

Acquaintance I would maybe wave when I notice them, and then not make eye contact until we’re close enough to greet each other.

amother

DarkGreen

Sat, Sep 07 2024, 10:50 pm

But some people will stare and stare and still stare……. Until you completely pass them… your lucky if they don’t turn around to give that last stare.
Either greet, smile, nonchalantly look around or just pretend you don’t see the person. Staring for a long period of time is extremely awkward.

amother

Caramel

Sat, Sep 07 2024, 10:58 pm

What makes it even more awkward is if it's your ex, your ex's second wife. Or your fil/bil...

amother

Vanilla

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 12:29 am

A staring story:
I was in the airport waiting at my gate.
We left the house too early for a minyan and arriving to our destination too late for a minyan. My male companion, new to tefillin laying was feeling self conscious but I convinced him that an airport is a perfectly appropriate place for shachris.
After he was done he motions to a woman who won’t stop staring at him. I look her way and indeed she keeps looking. Even after she turned away, her eyes kept going back to staring.
I started watching her, at the same time wondering why she keeps staring at the tefillin wearer.
She soon felt my eyes on her and turned to her friend saying. This woman won’t stop looking at me, let’s leave.
She left as if she was escaping the devil and I was left with a big question mark.
I wish I knew the end of the story.

amother

Dahlia

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:56 pm

lol so validating to see other ppl struggle with this too 😂

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