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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
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sara1232
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 2:53 pm
Cheiny wrote: | Just a consideration that it’s less comfortable for some guests than being able to help themselves… |
I disagree with this so strongly. I've been to many peoples shabbos meals and always find it so uncomfortable when I have to serve myself. I usually end up taking very little bc I'm embarrassed to load up a huge portion.
I don't understand why everyone's assuming that if you serve individually you're giving stingy amounts. I serve very generously.
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Cheiny
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:10 pm
sara1232 wrote: | I disagree with this so strongly. I've been to many peoples shabbos meals and always find it so uncomfortable when I have to serve myself. I usually end up taking very little bc I'm embarrassed to load up a huge portion.
I don't understand why everyone's assuming that if you serve individually you're giving stingy amounts. I serve very generously. |
That’s you but it’s not the majority from what I hear…
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Cheiny
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:15 pm
sara1232 wrote: | I disagree with this so strongly. I've been to many peoples shabbos meals and always find it so uncomfortable when I have to serve myself. I usually end up taking very little bc I'm embarrassed to load up a huge portion.
I don't understand why everyone's assuming that if you serve individually you're giving stingy amounts. I serve very generously. |
I’ve been to homes where more times than not the individual plated amounts of cholent were very small. We literally went home hungry… some people assume that their guests are also small eaters if they are… and my kids were too shy to say they wanted more. And men usually want a good amount. I’ve heard same from others.
We’ve had this happen even in homes where the hostess didn’t serve fish or anything much at all for first course.
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sara1232
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:48 pm
Cheiny wrote: | I’ve been to homes where more times than not the individual plated amounts of cholent were very small. We literally went home hungry… some people assume that their guests are also small eaters if they are… and my kids were too shy to say they wanted more. And men usually want a good amount. I’ve heard same from others.
We’ve had this happen even in homes where the hostess didn’t serve fish or anything much at all for first course. |
Then the problem isn't that they're serving individually, it's that they're putting too little in each plate.
Doesn't mean that serving individually=hungry guests it just means to be generous.
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amother
Cadetblue
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:59 pm
This is so interesting. I have been to many homes for shabbos lunch and have never seen individual plates of cholent served. Just self serve. I wouldn't like it.
We serve in a big serving china bowl. I'd like something nicer, but this is what we use for now.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:03 pm
sara1232 wrote: | I disagree with this so strongly. I've been to many peoples shabbos meals and always find it so uncomfortable when I have to serve myself. I usually end up taking very little bc I'm embarrassed to load up a huge portion.
I don't understand why everyone's assuming that if you serve individually you're giving stingy amounts. I serve very generously. |
Exactly
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:06 pm
Cheiny wrote: | I’ve been to homes where more times than not the individual plated amounts of cholent were very small. We literally went home hungry… some people assume that their guests are also small eaters if they are… and my kids were too shy to say they wanted more. And men usually want a good amount. I’ve heard same from others.
We’ve had this happen even in homes where the hostess didn’t serve fish or anything much at all for first course. |
By the time we're up to the cholent my guests can't move. There's challah with a ton of dips. Salmon and gefilta fish. Eggs, liver and vegetables. And then there's the cholent with kishka, lokshen kugel, deli, fruit crumble, and then dessert with chocolates and nosh.
I assure you no one leaves hungry from my table.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 11:15 pm
sara1232 wrote: | Then the problem isn't that they're serving individually, it's that they're putting too little in each plate.
Doesn't mean that serving individually=hungry guests it just means to be generous. |
I bet there's a greater than zero number of women out there who think they're serving generous portions yet are leaving their guests hungry.
And as previously stated, the problem with individual plates isn't just people not having enough. It's also people potentially having too much and feeling bad about wasting. And people wanting and not wanting specific things.
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amother
Lily
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Mon, Jun 03 2024, 1:36 pm
Can I be the one to say that in chassidish homes portions are served, and the family/buffet style serving is the norm anywhere outside of the chassidish world? Please correct me if I'm wrong.
(Also, I think Chassidim host less strangers, more families, so you'd be comfortable serving portions, and asking/saying what they'd like)
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amother
Cantaloupe
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Mon, Jun 03 2024, 2:37 pm
My mother used to serve us individual portions and put out serving platters for the guests. In my home, I serve cholent in a large stainless steel serving bowl, sometimes two if we're a lot of people and the table is extended to its max. I'd hate to be served a plate of cholent by my host. I dislike the beans and prefer mostly potatoes and a little meat, and I'm not going to tell that to any host. And I'm certainly not going to ask for seconds. Serving bowl is the way to go.
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amother
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Mon, Jun 03 2024, 3:22 pm
amother Lily wrote: | Can I be the one to say that in chassidish homes portions are served, and the family/buffet style serving is the norm anywhere outside of the chassidish world? Please correct me if I'm wrong.
(Also, I think Chassidim host less strangers, more families, so you'd be comfortable serving portions, and asking/saying what they'd like) |
No idea about chassidish homes, but can I be one to suggest that serving individual portions to guests may be a relic of the depression era generation - focused on austerity in tough times - that may have been passed down. my grandparents grew up in the depression and were always scolded by their parents about wasting food, and they lived their whole life stuck in the depression and extremely careful about not wasting anything. when we went over as kids they'd always complain when we wasted any food.
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amother
NeonGreen
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Mon, Jun 03 2024, 3:27 pm
I use something similar to this.
A bit deeper.
Nice and pretty yet easy to pass around the table
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amother
Blonde
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Mon, Jun 03 2024, 3:40 pm
I serve in a tureen - that way the big plate that I set the table with stays by each persons place
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