What do you think of this

↑ mha3484

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:46 pm

If a rebbe wants to get to know talmidim bring ice cream to school and during recess or lunch get together in small groups with the boys. But after my boys come home they have other things like chavrusos or playing with friends, family time, dinner, showers bed etc. After they get off the bus school is done and its personal and family time.

amother

Skyblue

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:47 pm

This really depends on the details. Just one boy, the parents are right and the rebbi is wrong. He should know better in this day and age to ask such a thing. If it's a group of boys, the parents are still right (as it's always ultimately up to the parents) but the rebbi isn't wrong either.

Cheiny

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Purposely not saying who I am in this story to get an honest answer.
A rebbi calls a mother at 6 pm, can I take your son out for ice cream. She answers. I discussed with my husband and we prefer not.

Who was right, parents or rebbe

Why would you not ask what this was about…?

Busybee5 ↓

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:27 pm

amother Skyblue wrote:

I agree with this.

amother

Amaranthus ↓

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:27 pm

Both are right. The rebba is right for asking, the parents have right to say yes or no. It's not a right or wrong situation.

↑ Busybee5 ↓

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:28 pm

amother Amaranthus wrote:

Both are right. The rebba is right for asking, the parents have right to say yes or no. It's not a right or wrong situation.

He's not really. It's kind of wrong to even ask to take out one boy on his own for an evening treat.

amother

↑ Amaranthus

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:30 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

He's not really. It's kind of wrong to even ask to take out one boy on his own for an evening treat.

Why is it wrong of the rebbi to ask?
It's wrong of the rebbi to take the kid without parents permission. It is not wrong of the rebbi to ask.
It many circles, it's a normal thing of a rebbi/teacher.

amother

Hyacinth

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:30 pm

This is so weird. Why are OPs being so vague in the post? Another thing I noticed is that someone posts a situation and then after the replies come in she pops up saying "I am the person/wife/ the friend/the sister/etc"

amother

Camellia

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:35 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

He's not really. It's kind of wrong to even ask to take out one boy on his own for an evening treat.

You really can't say that without knowing more details. Did he give a reason why he wanted to take the boy out?
I'm not a fan of being overly suspicious of everyone. I'm also not a fan of posting vague stories and leaving everyone to assume the rest.

amother

↑ Navyblue

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:53 pm

I'd assume the Rebbi likes to take one boy at a time over the course of the year to make them feel special, encourage them in their progress, or hear their feedback in a neutral location. I think it's a very nice thing but can also understand why some parents might be uncomfortable with it.

chestnut ↓

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:57 pm

Success10 wrote:

Are you the ice cream?

The ice cream store owner who lost the rebbi's business!!

↑ chestnut ↓

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:58 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

He's not really. It's kind of wrong to even ask to take out one boy on his own for an evening treat.

They aren't going at 10pm. What's wrong with asking?

↑ Busybee5

Tue, May 14 2024, 4:01 pm

chestnut wrote:

They aren't going at 10pm. What's wrong with asking?

I don't like it 🤷‍♀️I guess the there's nothing inherently wrong with it. At least he asked but still seems a bit off.

↑ chestnut ↓

Tue, May 14 2024, 4:04 pm

OP, your post is too confusing.
How old is the boy?
One on one or with a group?
Was he already home at that time or still in school and the rebbi was there?
What's the reason - the boy is going thru something? As a prize?
Was this call at 6pm the first time and the mother asked the father right then and replied? Or the rebbi asked before and just called now for the answer? (Doesn't change anything, I'm just confused).

And were you the phone? Lol

amother

↑ OP

Tue, May 14 2024, 4:11 pm

Ok. I was the ice cream!

Kidding, my husband works in a school where this happened. And the rebbi who asked to take the kid out was shocked that the parents didn’t let. It was a big argument in the rebbes room

I’m sorry I was vague in my op. I wasn’t sure how to word it and my husband was trying to figure out whose opinion was correct or more popular

amother

RosePink

Tue, May 14 2024, 4:11 pm

amother Hyacinth wrote:

Because people are really nasty if you are on what they deem the “wrong side”

amother

Seashell

Tue, May 14 2024, 4:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

Get more context from your husband and keep us posted! What was your opinion?

amother

Trillium

Tue, May 14 2024, 4:47 pm

I don’t think there’s any right or wrong though I do think we need to know why the rebbe even asked altogether. If he is trying to help a more difficult kid or the kid is going thru a hard time in school or home or something like that then I think it’s really nice of the rebbe.
Out of the blue as treat is strange if it’s an in town school…

amother

Lime

Tue, May 14 2024, 5:05 pm

My seminary principal used to take a girl out for ice cream alone in his car. Oh my I'll never forget that.

zoom

Tue, May 14 2024, 5:36 pm

Success10 wrote:

Are you the ice cream?

You win for making me snort out loud.

Thank you!!