Unexpected guest | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Sat, May 04 2024, 5:49 pm

We went away for Pesach and a family member knew our house was empty and asked if they could stay in our house for a few days. They just a couple no kids so we let them stay there as have a guest room and didn’t mind as it’s family etc. anyway we have a camera to our property and I checked the camera to see they’ve so kindly done hachnasas orchim and have another guy who I am presuming is either a friend or relative of the wife staying there as well. Like a bochur. Am I crazy for thinking this is totally wrong for them to invite someone to come stay in my house with out asking our permission if we comfortable with it? Besides for where is he actually sleeping happens to be there is an extra spare bedroom but it wasn’t made up for an extra guest but how is this considered normal behavior? Am I meant to say anything or carry on and pretend I had no clue they hosted someone else in our house?

amother

Ginger ↓

Sat, May 04 2024, 5:50 pm

How du know he slept over?

Seeing someone entering doesn't mean much. Presuming you didn't watch footage of them inside your house...that would be invasive and unfair.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, May 04 2024, 6:00 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

How du know he slept over?

Seeing someone entering doesn't mean much. Presuming you didn't watch footage of them inside your house...that would be invasive and unfair.

No I only have a ring doorbelll so can see the activity from the front door of coming and going and can tell he’s staying there not just popping past as they’ve also given him the code to come in and out etc

Rappel

Sat, May 04 2024, 6:06 pm

They should have asked

Text them: "I got alerts from my Ring doorbell, and I saw you have someone else staying at my house. Please don't do that again without asking me first."

amother

↑ Ginger ↓

Sat, May 04 2024, 6:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

U should try and check if he just came by a lot or actually stayed over.

I've given my guest room out a few times, wouldn't know if someone came in and out (don't have a camera) but it wouldn't bother me.

Sleeping over would bother me tho, I might've left stuff in a room that I wouldn't want others to see, or the could be a mess or whatever...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, May 04 2024, 6:59 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

As I said already I know he for sure stayed over and didn’t just pop past a lot. I can see he came in at night and left in the morning etc and I have motion sensors which shows he went upstairs etc

.

amother

↑ Ginger ↓

Sat, May 04 2024, 7:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

That's not right, for a guest to bring another guest.

There's not much you can do about it tho, they might find it petty that you were 'checking up on them'.

You'll know for next time.

amother

↑ OP

Sat, May 04 2024, 7:13 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

That's not right, for a guest to bring another guest.

There's not much you can do about it tho, they might find it petty that you were 'checking up on them'.

You'll know for next time.

I wasn’t actually as such checking up on them but I get the alerts to my phone so keep seeing the activity

amother

↑ Ginger

Sat, May 04 2024, 7:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

I wasn’t actually as such checking up on them but I get the alerts to my phone so keep seeing the activity

Ah I'm sorry, misunderstood, I don't know how these things work-I thought you were running through the reels when you got home....

If you lend your house out again, make sure you stipulate that they mustn't host anyone extra-it's socially off imo, and taking advantage of your kindness.

Don't let it put you off in the future, most people wouldn't act like that!

amother

DarkGray

Sat, May 04 2024, 10:02 pm

You should definitely say something. It's chutzpah. A guest is not supposed to invite another guest. and shouldn't give them the code to the house.

amother

Chocolate

Sat, May 04 2024, 10:24 pm

I had this one time. I only found out a few months later when the guests' guests told me. They and no idea that I had no idea. That amongst other things is the reason why I don't do this anymore.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sat, May 04 2024, 10:58 pm

When you got the first alert, and realized your guests (family) allowed a third person to sleep over, that would have been the time to call and say something. If you were ok with it, then why are you bringing it up now? Are you looking for reasons to be upset? Did something else happen?

I assume you trust these guests (family) or wouldnt have let them stay in your home. If they allowed a third person, chances are there were mitigating circumstances and the third guest was someone safe. I would be open minded and mention to them that you are aware of the third person sleeping in a room that you hadnt prepared and would have preferred being told about it in advance. Is it worth making a big deal out of something that is already done?

Did the guests (family) pay you for the time they were in your home?