I am Satmar Chassidish AMA

amother

Sand ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

My personal opinion on Chabad is that they are wonderful people that are serving Hashem in the way they know best.

I actually have a few really close Chabad friends in CH. Not the norm, I know... none of the other satmar people have to tell me

My parents are anti-politics so I only heard the Vechter story as an adult since DH's uncle was his student and is now a Chabad shliach in the boondocks.

There is actually a movement within the satmar community of men learning Tanya and going to the Ohel. Not very openly but it's there

I thought it was pretty ironic when one of the Satmar Rebbes turned up at my friends chabad house in California and insisted on putting tefillin onto someone, he claimed that as a grandchild of the Alter Rebbe he deserved this privilege.
So I'm just confused. If he is a grandchild of the Alter Rebbe, what's the hate all about?

amother

↑ Petunia ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:16 pm

amother Sand wrote:

Hate? I didn’t grow up Satmar but married someone who did. His father learns the Tanya and only ever said respectful things about Chabad.

amother

↑ Sand ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:20 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

Hate? I didn’t grow up Satmar but married someone who did. His father learns the Tanya and only ever said respectful things about Chabad.

Do some research then. Or I can tell you about it from a chabad point of view. Whichever you prefer.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:22 pm

amother Camellia wrote:

My major exposure to Satmar is the amazing work of the ladies who brought food to my relative in a NY hospital. Other than that, I don't know know enough to "ask you anything".
Would you mind explaining some of the ways your life is different than other chasidusin or other Orthodox? I'm genuinely curious.

Satmar is very into chesed. Most chesed organizations in the Orthodox Jewish world were started by Satmar people. Part of the previous Satmar Rebbe, Reb Yoel's ideology was, 'Men darf zein git tzi yeden, nisht mit yeden' We have to be good to everyone, not with everyone'. Insularity and conformity are ideals.
For men having a shiur and working is considered the ideal, aside from the select few talmidei chachamim who stay in learning. Tznius is very high up on the list of priorities, as well as looking good while being tznius. Domesticity is considered an art and women take pride in their beautifully appointed homes and meals as well as their perfectly dressed from head to toe kids.
From my experience many Satmar families are culturally Satmar, yet they have another Rav or Rebbe that they go to for eitzos and hadracha, leading to the satmar-geshtimt (satmar leaning) phenomenon

amother

↑ Heather ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:23 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

WHY ARE SATMAR PEOPLE SO OBSSESED WITH DESIGNER AND FASHION????????????

I keep hearing this from friends and people from different communities and the truth is that we are not more obsessed than anyone else! Are there some people who are very into it? Absolutely! But every community has such people. Many satmar people are NOT into designer clothing at all.
My opinion is that the satmar people have a knack for looking put together and classy. Even when it’s not designer. I am satmar and I do love some designers, but I can’t afford it and I don’t usually buy designer stuff… but I still get asked all the time where I shop Smile

I think that more than the obsession with designer stuff it’s our good taste and class.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:23 pm

amother Heather wrote:

Everyone is in therapy Smile

That was exaggerated obviously but it’s not like you think. New centers keep opening up and many people from within the community are going to school to become therapists.
And many many more are seeing therapists and people are very open to it and it’s becoming less and less of a stigma. It changed tremendously in the last ten years thank god

I'm really happy to hear that my experience is not unique

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:27 pm

amother Sand wrote:

I think the anger, not hate, comes from Mendel Vechter "converting" his talmidim to a way of life that was foreign to their families.

Like I mentioned earlier, one of the major ideals in Satmar is insularity and Chabad is the exact opposite of that.

Again, I only heard of the story as an adult and I have some really amazing Chabad friends so I don't really have any skin in the game

amother

↑ Petunia ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Your username came up.

amother

↑ Sand

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

I knew about the Satmar geshtimt thing, there are a lot of smaller kehillos/ batei midrashim that there Rebbes were talmidim of Satmar and then branched out on their own.
It happens everywhere but more often in Satmar both with chassidim going elsewhere for hadracha or starting their own kehillos, my question is why, why davka in Satmar do they feel the need to go elsewhere?

amother

↑ Camellia

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 11:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

Does music / nigunim have a big role in Satmar?
Is it common for people to become Satmar or only if you're born to Satmar patients?
Can you recognize Satmar men or women or kids among other chassidim?
You mentioned that conformity is a value but you also said your family is a little different. How does that work for you?
Aside from bikur Cholim, what chesed organizations were started by Satmar?
Is marriage among relatives (e.g. first cousins) common?
Do you know people who have small families by choice?
In what cities or countries do Satmar communities exist? Would you ever consider living outside of a Satmar community?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 11:15 pm

amother Sand wrote:

Satmar is very large/commercial so it is hard for most people to have a connection with the Rebbe leading to many people to find a personal rav/rebbe/mashpia elsewhere. But Satmar has turned into so much of a culture/identity that most people still stay connected.

amother

↑ Heather ↓

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 11:26 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

How do you feel about shaving your head? Do you enjoy it? (I read in one of these replies you shave your head)

I’m not the OP but I’m also Satmar and shave.
While I can’t talk for everyone I can say that shaving is on my easy list of things. It’s nothing out of the ordinary to me. Before I got married I really thought I wouldn’t shave but I’ve been doing it for years and nothing makes me want to stop. I know it’s not halacha and I know it seems absurd and cult like, it is not one bit hard for me.
I know there are women who do have a hard time with it but for most of my friends and family it’s super easy and some people I know prefer the clean shaven feeling Smile

Also, it grows back super fast and thick and I always like to think that if I ever decide to let my hair grow in it will be the healthiest and most beautiful hair ever !