Chassidish Wedding etiquette

amother

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 11:57 am

We were invited to a wedding of a typical boro park chassidish family. There was an insert for Shabbos Sheva brochos, does that mean we are invited for that too?

What is an appropriate gift? We are new friends so not very close yet. Should we give cash or an actual gift?

Is there a Shabbos Kallah the week before the wedding?

Anything else we should know?

amother

Goldenrod ↓

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 12:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

Only close family is typically invited for sheva brachos meals, but the information is in the invite because friends & acquaintances that live locally, go say mazal tov after the meal.
There is no shabbos kallah. You don't need to give a gift, but if you want to, cash is more typically given at the wedding. Actual gifts are typically given at the vort.

amother

Oak ↓

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 12:07 pm

Typical chassidish invitations always say where shabbos sheva brachos is being in case someone wants to walk over to give mazel tov then. It's not an invite for you to attend the meal, that would be given to you personally by the mechutanim of either side. They usually only invite family and sometimes the kallah gets to invite some of her closest friends.

Shabbos kallah depends if the kallah decides to make some sort of gathering or not. I hear that kallah today aren't really into it. If you're close to the kallah she'll most likely call to invite you.

amother

Lightgreen

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 12:55 pm

Are the shabbos Sheva brachos info on the back of the invitation??
Just standard invitation information. Your not invited.if you want you can walk in to say Mazel tov just stop by,like if can't make it to wedding

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 1:04 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Why would anyone care about where and when unless they are invited? It's not weird to pop into a sheva brachos meal, everyone is sitting and eating, interrupt the baalei simcha to wish mazel tov?

amother

↑ Oak

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 1:06 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

Why would anyone care about where and when unless they are invited? It's not weird to pop into a sheva brachos meal, everyone is sitting and eating, interrupt the baalei simcha to wish mazel tov?

It's meant for people who would have gone to the wedding but couldn't. The baalei simcha expect people to show up so it isn't weird. Majority usually show up after they finish their own meal, which ends up being around dessert time at the sheva brachos.

amother

DarkCyan

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 1:08 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

Why would anyone care about where and when unless they are invited? It's not weird to pop into a sheva brachos meal, everyone is sitting and eating, interrupt the baalei simcha to wish mazel tov?

It’s a very common thing to do. Most ppl go more like dessert time, not smack in middle of the meal or in the beginning. Especially common if the wedding was in another city and you couldn’t make it.

amother

↑ Goldenrod

Wed, Sep 18 2024, 1:08 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

Why would anyone care about where and when unless they are invited? It's not weird to pop into a sheva brachos meal, everyone is sitting and eating, interrupt the baalei simcha to wish mazel tov?

No, it's not weird. People generally go over after the meal. There's a sweet table or desserts prepared for people that go after the meal.

Ruchi

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 7:02 am

Quote:

Are the shabbos Sheva brachos info on the back of the invitation??

OP wrote

There was an insert for Shabbos Sheva brochos,