DAUGHTER NEVER WANTS TO DAVEN

↑ TzenaRena

Wed, Mar 07 2007, 6:08 pm

Op, I'm having a memory flashback . When I was six-seven, I didn't like to daven.

at age eight I was transformed, and became the youngest BT. 8)

You see, I was embarrassed of my older brothers who were sooo big, and davened so much, like big boys and said everything in the siddur.

Girls davened "baby" stuff. My brother was a big tease, and I was sure he would tease me about that! He didn't but I was embarrassed to daven! My parents must have known about it, but I thought they didn't.

So when I stayed over with my cousins for a week in the country, my aunt set us all up with siddurim, and there was no way out, I had to daven. What to do? Would you believe that I 'hid' under a blanket and davened with a flashlight! Rolling Eyes

I also remember a family outing in which we went to an amusement kiddy park, and my father was trying to get me to daven; I guess he figured me out after all. He said I wouldn't be allowed to go on the rides till I said Shema. Well, I was one stubborn cooky. I refused! shock

He must have been coaxing me for over an hour, and I never gave in! Finally, I said one sentence, Modeh Ani, and up I went on the helicopter ride. Rolling Eyes

(The child in me still feels sad that he gave in so easily and didn't get me to say Shema too.)

How did I change? I honestly don't know, maybe I felt guilty on my own accord, or just realized how ridiculous I was being - but there was no negativity in dealing with me, and at age eight I got over it all and started to daven with real enjoyment, adding more tefillos, and enjoying the davening in shul on shabbos with the minyan, learning to say kedusha.

↑ shalhevet

Thu, Mar 08 2007, 12:09 am

amother wrote:

op here
how can you judge
my dd is not growing up with a mother like I did
meaning she is not getting a potsh every time she dont daven nice
like I did
so thats why I was wondering why she dont like to daven

You don't daven because you got a potsh.

She doesn't daven because her mother doesn't.

Mrs.Norris

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 10:20 am

how does one get 104%???? I was thinking maybe if you are that worried about your daughter davening, you can learn the words of a part of davening together. That way you get to bond with your daughter, she gets to understand what she is saying everyday and it won't be like davening so you hopefully won't feel un-able to do it. Good luck and I am sure your kid is a great kid and it is really not the end of the world if she doesn't want to daven the set out words in the siddur...maybe you can tell her that she can daven in her own special way to Hashem if she doesn't feel like reading it out from the siddur. It's a lot better than skipping most of it and half reading the words like I used to do because I simply could not be bothered and didn't understand a word I was saying anyway so felt zero connection.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 11:23 am

I should prob. post anon, but here goes . . . .

DD is graduating high school and STILL isn't comfortable with the Hebrew. We are concentrating on other things at this point; it's important that she have a good strong Jewish identity, not that she be forced to take a siddur while DH and I look on.

↑ amother

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 11:31 am

my mother davens shacharis, mincha and maariv. says tehillim and chitas. I grew uip knowing that, yet I still didnt like davening. I never really grew out of it and I try to daven as much as I can but honestly its not the first thing I run to do. im going to have to start if I want my children to wasnt to daven.

I think if my mother would have davened together with us it would have helped. I guess I viewed it as something that just took too long. if it was a special time maybe I would have viewed it differently

Mevater

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 11:37 am

chocolate moose wrote:

POWER TO YOU!

Halvei all regular Daveners would be Ba'alos Midos!

and Halvei, despite our effort, we could pick and choose what are children do and don't do.

mimivan

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 1:36 pm

happymom wrote:

Quote:

but I dont want her to be like me
what can I do?

I think this is the problem. children learn from EXAMPLE. actions speak louder then words. if u want ure kids to learn something, do it earnestly ureself. if not, dont expect them to do it!

I agree happymom! (as usual)

↑ happymom

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 2:03 pm

Quote:

im sorry u feel judged, and although that must have been really hard growing up like that, your daughter doesnt know about all that and although u dont patch her and only want whats best for her, I still believe that if u want ure kids to do something, u gotta do it yourself. (yes u cant do everything but to say I dont want my daughter to be like me.... well if theres something we do that we dont want our kids to do, we have to change that thing whatever it is..... im not saying its easy!)