Identical twins? | Imamother

mamita ↓

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 11:00 am

My twins were born with 2 placentas, - non identical obviously, right? Well, no. Our OB said it depends when the egg splits. Never heard of that before. He did say we could go for DNA testing if we wanted to be sure. Being on a kollel budget we never considered it.
When we came home (preemies) my hub always questioned if we had mixed them up and we should tie an identifying string around one etc etc. I could tell who was who by looking them well in the face. I will grant that on fotos of that first half year I find it impossible to tell them apart.
They have gone through phases where they were more similar and when they were more different in looks. For three years in preschool neither their friends or Morahs could tell them apart. Which I thought was kind of ridiculous - they were not that identical????
They went through phases where they HAD to wear the same and would change if the other got dirty.. and phases where they would NOT wear the same.
We always treated them like two separate entities and never tried to mix in to their relationship to 'solve issues' if there weren't any yet. eg. we never split them in school and I had no problem if they only went to school hand-in-hand with their twin or prefered going only when the other was sick. (Except for the frustration of it all..) Part of growing up and gaining identity.
The best parenting advice I gained was 'divide and conquer'. Meaning, when they get involved in each other and you lose communication and therefore control over the situation - divide them up. The most extreme case was when I put them in different bedrooms for the night. The first night they were all macho and yeah we want. The next day they were ok we did it now we can go back. I said oh no you dont. They promised heaven and earth that they would behave. I made them separate another night anyway and the problem was solved thank G-D.
Yes, we also had the situation where the next siblings feel left out, but thank G-D they are 2 brothers and can team up as well if they want. Nothing compared to the twins team but they can roughhouse and play together too.
Their characters are very similar but not identical, as is their hobbies & learning styles. Their grades are similar enough with usually a few point difference and they have gone through phases where they had to learn to see themselves as separate, with individual capabilities and goals rather than clones of each other. All part of growing and gaining individual identity.
Most of their teachers and certainly their friends can generally tell them apart. There are moments (MOMENTS!!) where I confuse for a second too and have to take a second look at their face (or I am corrected). But really, although they look alike and their build and coloring are the same, its very easy to tell them apart.
So, did anyone ever hear about this concept of maybe-identical-depends-when-egg-split-twins? And what do you answer to that frustrating question 'identical or not?' (I usually go with whatever I feel the questioner wants to hear. And if I am really frustrated - then what s/he does not want to hear..)

mummy123 ↓

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 11:14 am

My brothers are twins and from what I remember, my mother was told the same re 2 placentas. We still don't know for certain whether they are identical or not as my parents never got them tested either. They are now 11 and are very much alike, even the way they talk. Whenever asked if they're identical we always say no, just very similar!

↑ mummy123

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 11:15 am

Double post

invisiblecircus

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 11:50 am

Yes, it's common to have identical twins with two placentas. If there is one placenta then you know for sure they're identical but if there are two they could be identical or fraternal.

amother ↓

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 12:07 pm

mamita wrote:

My twins were born with 2 placentas, - non identical obviously, right? Well, no. Our OB said it depends when the egg splits. Never heard of that before. He did say we could go for DNA testing if we wanted to be sure. Being on a kollel budget we never considered it.
When we came home (preemies) my hub always questioned if we had mixed them up and we should tie an identifying string around one etc etc. I could tell who was who by looking them well in the face. I will grant that on fotos of that first half year I find it impossible to tell them apart.
They have gone through phases where they were more similar and when they were more different in looks. For three years in preschool neither their friends or Morahs could tell them apargt. Which I thought was kind of ridiculous - they were not that identical????
They went through phases where they HAD to wear the same and would change if the other got dirty.. and phases where they would NOT wear the same.
We always treated them like two separate entities and never tried to mix in to their relationship to 'solve issues' if there weren't any yet. eg. we never split them in school and I had no problem if they only went to school hand-in-hand with their twin or prefered going only when the other was sick. (Except for the frustration of it all..) Part of growing up and gaining identity.
The best parenting advice I gained was 'divide and conquer'. Meaning, when they get involved in each other and you lose communication and therefore control over the situation - divide them up. The most extreme case was when I put them in different bedrooms for the night. The first night they were all macho and yeah we want. The next day they were ok we did it now we can go back. I said oh no you dont. They promised heaven and earth that they would behave. I made them separate another night anyway and the problem was solved thank G-D.
Yes, we also had the situation where the next siblings feel left out, but thank G-D they are 2 brothers and can team up as well if they want. Nothing compared to the twins team but they can roughhouse and play together too.
Their characters are very similar but not identical, as is their hobbies & learning styles. Their grades are similar enough with usually a few point difference and they have gone through phases where they had to learn to see themselves as separate, with individual capabilities and goals rather than clones of each other. All part of growing and gaining individual identity.
Most of their teachers and certainly their friends can generally tell them apart. There are moments (MOMENTS!!) where I confuse for a second too and have to take a second look at their face (or I am corrected). But really, although they look alike and their build and coloring are the same, its very easy to tell them apart.
So, did anyone ever hear about this concept of maybe-identical-depends-when-egg-split-twins? And what do you answer to that frustrating question 'identical or not?' (I usually go with whatever I feel the questioner wants to hear. And if I am really frustrated - then what s/he does not want to hear..)

OP, I could've written your post!!! My twins are 1 now... Look really alike, similar personalities etc... They too were in separate sacks... My doc says there's a 20% chance that they're identical.
I'm soooo curious. Twins do NOT run in my family., some I'm thinking they are identical.
How muchdoes the testing cost ????

imaima

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 2:18 pm

May I ask, why is it important to know whether they are identical or not? Why pay the money?

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 2:21 pm

Surely if they look so, so similar, they must be identical. I don't know of any siblings who look so alike that they could be identical twins. And I don't know of any identical twins that don't look alike enough to be non-identical.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 3:51 pm

imaima wrote:

May I ask, why is it important to know whether they are identical or not? Why pay the money?

I'm not op, just amother in similar situation as op.
It's hard to explain why... I think it's because I like to know what went on in my body that caused THIS to happen...
Also, Identical twins are considered to be a fluke. There's a greater chance of fraternal twins reoccurring...
Also, from my twins end... There are a lot of dynamics to understand about identical twins-they share a special bond and we, as parents, need to know how to understand them...
So to me, it's important to know

goodmorning

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 4:05 pm

Between around 20-30% of identical twins are dichorionic-diamniotic, which happens if the embryo split within the first 3 days or so. It's certainly possible that your twins are identical.

There is a theory that the earlier the split, the less alike the identical twins may end up (particularly girls, though that is irrelevant here). If your sons are identical, the dissimilarities that you notice may be due to the early timing of the split.

Then again, don't we all know sets of siblings, especially same-gender ones, who strongly resemble each other? Remember, just because fraternal twins share an average of 50% of their genes, a particular set of twins may share a much larger percentage of genes. And environmental influences, starting from the womb, are more similar for fraternal twins than for siblings, so even fraternal twins may end up seeming very alike.

Basically, genetic testing is the only way to know for sure.

shanie5 ↓

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 5:54 pm

This thread made me think of this poem:

The Twins

In form and feature, face and limb,
I grew so like my brother,
That folks got taking me for him,
And each for one another.
It puzzled all our kith and kin,
It reached a fearful pitch;
For one of us was born a twin,
Yet not a soul knew which.

One day, to make the matter worse,
Before our names were fixed,
As we were being washed by nurse,
We got completely mixed;
And thus, you see, by fate's decree,
Or rather nurse's whim,
My brother John got christened me,
And I got christened him.

This fatal likeness even dogged
My footsteps when at school,
And I was always getting flogged,
For John turned out a fool.
I put this question, fruitlessly,
To everyone I knew,
'What would you do, if you were me,
To prove that you were you?'

Our close resemblance turned the tide
Of my domestic life,
For somehow, my intended bride
Became my brother's wife.
In fact, year after year the same
Absurd mistakes went on,
And when I died, the neighbors came
And buried brother John.

Henry Sambrooke Leigh

Isramom8 ↓

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 5:58 pm

So interesting, and OP, I love your positive tone about your kids!

I have kids who are years apart but look similar enough to be identical twins. One of my daughters makes people gasp when they see her because she looks just like her sister who is nine years older. And my youngest son looks very much like my oldest son.

Once I "aged" my younger daughter on a website and she ended up looking exactly like her sister, nine years older, looks now; it was freaky.

↑ Isramom8

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 6:00 pm

Shanie, that poem is just creepy and weird. Very Happy

↑ shanie5

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 6:15 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

Shanie, that poem is just creepy and weird. Very Happy

Thanx. I've always loved it!

↑ mamita

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 8:01 pm

Thank you. So interesting. I see it is a known fact that I was unaware of!
My twins are full time entertainment. Sometimes I try to discipline and they start laughing and I end up laughing too.
btw it should have read that for three years in preschool their Morahs and friends could NOT tell them apart. Which I thought was ridiculous cuz they were not that identical

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Dec 02 2014, 11:42 pm

twins do not share the same sac
if they do which is extremely rare - it is called monoamniotic

Fox

Tue, Dec 02 2014, 11:51 pm

I have 19-year old twins who shared a placenta. They still can look very much alike, but normally they groom themselves somewhat differently.

However, one recently ironed her hair, something her sister does normally, and people confused them all day.

chani8

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 6:07 am

I have monoamniotic twins who look like sisters, but not at all like twins. For one twin, her part of the placenta was malformed so she struggled to grow and is now still significantly shorter and has a thinner face.

They do share that identical twin bond and make a point to go out to lunch together every year on their birthday.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 8:42 am

My twins had two placentas. We eliminated the possibility of them being identical by knowing what their blood type was early on- one was RH+ and one RH- ! (Being premature, they were in for a lengthy hospitalization).

↑ amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 10:03 am

chani8 wrote:

did you have to spend time in the hospital ? before you had youre twins?