am I normal?? | Imamother

amother ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 6:49 pm

I see these moms walking around with 4 kids under the age of 4 and they look all gorgeous and put together and have a ton of energy... and I have BARUCH HASHEM I thank hashem every day for my beautiful , healthy twins.. but im just so exhausted. my body is achy all over, my back hurts , my legs feel heavy from exhaustion. im not a big person imactually very petite and both of my delicious babies are soo heavy so just putting them in and out of the car knocks me out. how do you mothers do it? when does it get easier? how do mothers with a bunch of kids do it?

rac429 ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:03 pm

DON'T LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLE!!!! I have 5 1/2 month old twins and an almost 3 year old. Some days I am in my PJs until I have to pick up my DD from daycare at 5:30. Some days I throw on whatever is lying near me and run errands and some days I get totally dressed up with a sheital and everything. Every week I try and go to shul with my 3 kids. People are always like "Wow, your amazing, you are out and about and everyone looks so put together." What they don't know is that it takes me over an hour to get everyone ready to get out of the house and it is usually a very stressful time (My DD likes to fight with me about what she wears Very Happy

). Just do what works for you. If Its easier for you to stay in your PJ's do that!!!

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:07 pm

rac429 wrote:

). Just do what works for you. If Its easier for you to stay in your PJ's do that!!!

im curious to hear though how people have so much energy and arent falling apart physically like I am. before I had kids or even before I got married I was a power house, I had a ton of energy , barely slept and was extremely athletic. now I feel like im in a 90 year olds body. im constantly exhausted and dreaming about my bed and my body just aches all over Sad

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:11 pm

amother wrote:

rac429 wrote:

). Just do what works for you. If Its easier for you to stay in your PJ's do that!!!

just to add, that I feel lke this usually before my period is due. why is that?

↑ rac429 ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:16 pm

That's why I said there are some days that I just stay in my PJ's all day. I also usually nap every morning from about 9-11 when my babies are napping (after my DD goes to Gan). This helps make up for the sleep I missed at night. I just sleep trained them this week and they slept through the night for the first time last night Very Happy

so I am hoping that the nightly feedings are over and I will have a normal nights sleep. I will be totally honest that some days I am exhausted but unfortunately because I have a very rambunctious DD I just have to have the energy to do what needs to be done. My personality is also that where I cannot just stay home every day all day. (I have two friends who also just had twins and they never leave there houses) Because of this little trait I have I feel like I have to get out of the house most days. Even if it is just to the supermarket. How old are your babies. My babies are also getting really heavy (which is a good thing cause they started off so small) but putting them in and out of the car is getting more difficult. I'm sorry I can't give you more advice but I am happy to commiserate with you.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:20 pm

rac429 wrote:

so im kinda like you. I go out everyday because othewise id lose my mind. so I do go out and get dressed but I feel like im shlepping my body around Sad

my "babies" are 19 months old. one of them just started sleeping through the night a 14 months!! and the other one wakes up anywhere between 5 am and 6:30 . I dont drink coffee but I wish there was something I can take thatll give my whole body a boost.

happyflower613

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:33 pm

I think you are normal. I am a mother of twins (they are now 13) I do remember feeling the way you do but it does get easier. you didn't mention how old they are and just try to think of how much more energy you have each month compared to last month. If you are able to sleep when they are sleeping than do so. It is important not to look at others because you also don't know how they were feeling yesterday and what they were doing before you saw them so put together. Be there for your kids because they need you not a picture perfect mom at all times. btw if you haven't seen your primary care physician you should as soon as possible and have your hormone levels checked and Iron because there are certain horomones that can deplete your energy if they are not in check.

Believe it or not excercise will give you more energy. You don't need a lot it is just to boost yourself and get the endorphins running like on caffeine that you say you don't drink ( I don't either it makes me stressed) but if you run in burst in your home in place just for 30 seconds at a time it will get the adrenline running and kick in the good endorphins.

Good luck it gets easier.

↑ rac429

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:36 pm

Maybe you are iron deficient which could be causing the exhaustion. I don't drink coffee either so I can't tell you if that works. Smile

. My babies are only 5 months so they are not as big as yours. You are probably running after yours way more than I am. Mine are still not mobile. I am sure that is also adding to your exhaustion. Can you get someone to come help you for a couple of hours a week? Maybe that will help. Also if you can get a babysitter and go get a massage or pedicure by yourself. I find that just being away for an hour can be really rejuvenating.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:48 pm

happyflower613 wrote:

im so happy to hear that you remember feeling the way I do. I feel bad that ou felt this way but I feeel relieved to hear that. I went to my pcp and bh bloodwork is normal . I sleep when they do but it just doesnt seem like enough Smile

bh im not complaining I just miss my old body.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Aug 08 2012, 7:49 pm

happyflower613 wrote:

also, isnt just taking care of 19 month old twns enough exercise?

Roche

Thu, Aug 09 2012, 2:09 pm

just wanna add one important factor for having more energy is nutrition. I also used to feel like op, always dragging myself but I recently cut out sugar and realized bread was a culprit as well. I try to eat a decent amount of fruits and veggies , lots of water and keep satiated through out the day. trust me you feel the difference!

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Aug 09 2012, 3:17 pm

Um, dear, you have twins!! Twins are grueling, brutal, and take a huge amount of energy, way more than having one at a time. And you honestly don't know what's going on with other people, no matter how it seems when you see them. I'm talking as a twin mom who ended up with 4 under 3. And boy was I jealous of some of those other moms, and just now am I finding out that they really weren't managing any better than me. The good news is that next time you have a singleton you will manage so much better! I promise! I also agree with cutting out sugar, eating and drinking well, taking good quality supplements, getting alone time and exercising, and trying to nap whenever possible.

B"H YOM YOM

Thu, Aug 09 2012, 3:48 pm

B"H I had 3 under 16 months (16 month old and preemie twins). I really try to put most of the stressful times out of the forefront of my mind (have to). It was grueling, scary yet amazing (when I had the moment to breathe and take it all in-RARE) and the most beautiful bracha of my life! I still feel like I'm falling apart at times with the medical challenges etc but absolutely no comparison to the first couple years. B"H twins just turned 3 and older DC is 4. Now its just like running a playgroup :) Listen, I am in touch with many moms of multiples and everyone has their own coping mechanism-no matter what it they look like "strolling down the avenue in make up". They are probably doing all they can just to hold back a primal scream! Multiples are a WHOLE other catagory. If you live in NY, there is a group that meets once a month or so-"Mothers of Multiples (M.O.M.) run through N'shei Ahavas Chesed: 718-951-6735/212-363-8940. So, you just take it day by day and remember that YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Much, much nachas always. Please feel free to pm me for chizuk, info etc...

↑ amother

Fri, Aug 17 2012, 3:36 am

Yes so normal. I b"h have 10 month old twins and while it has gotten easier I'm still exhausted. I don't get out much with the kids because I find it so difficult. We do walks but driving somewhere is mostly done when dh is available to help. Feeling tired before or during your period can be hormonal if iron is fine. I have the same thing and very heavy so I went on the pill a few months but hasn't helped yet...

ellie23

Fri, Aug 17 2012, 5:20 am

I have 1 year old twins. there doesnt seem to be anything abnormal about you! I feel like I schlep myself around- of course id rather be sleeping than dropping shirts at the cleaners or cleaning my bathroom! I have to fight to stay up until 9 pm..I am spent!!1i give every ounce of strength that I have to my twins and im so proud of it! when I see how tired I am I know im doing a good job with them! I take them out every morning and every afternoon because I dont want to deprive them of anything just because its hard to take 2 babies out versus one! after spending our days dressing, changing,feeding and bathing 2 babies plus taking them out on trips and to errands and all of that we twin moms are exhausted and should be! if it makes you feel better, these r my only children and I NEVER where a wig unless im going to an interview, meeting or event. I often wear the same things over and over (I wash my clothes often and then dont often have time to put them away so I just grab it up again)- always in flip flops, no makeup- I spend all day with my children and they think im just as beautiful with no makeup on Smile

if you're exhausted chances are- you're an amazing mom!!!