expecting twins--I dont want to nurse-- am I normal?

PinkFridge ↓

Fri, Sep 16 2011, 12:08 pm

amother wrote:

hi

im fifteen weeks pregnant with twins bh. I am not planning to breastfeed at all. this will be my second and third imh. am I normal?
first of all its much more time consuming. and when I don't nurse I can have helpers giving
the babies a bottle.

anyone with experience with twins please post.
thanks

This subject liine is begging for immediate reaction status:
Yes. You are normal.
That was easy ;-)

I hope you'll get input from imamothers who've BTDT. I only know a relative's experience. She nursed briefly, is glad she did it, but she had a lot of help the first two months.
At this point, I would be open to thinking about it, especially if you get feedback from women who've done it and can give you details so you can see how their experiences fit into your life. I don't know what kind of experience you had with your first.
Oh, and you can nurse sometimes, bottlefeed sometimes. Get that nurturing time*, the health benefits, etc.

But again, if you make a fully informed decision not to nurse you are normal - and a good mother - and your kids will do just fine. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

B'shaa tova!

*Edited to stress that I know that bottlefed babies are loved and nurtured as much. I really didn't mean to imply otherwise.

Last edited by PinkFridge on Fri, Sep 16 2011, 12:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

DefyGravity ↓

Fri, Sep 16 2011, 12:10 pm

I have twins, and in my opinion, if you're able to nurse, I think you're doing yourself a huge disservice by not. Nursing is so much less time consuming than dealing with making and cleaning bottles, trying to bottle feed two babies at once, AND it's free.

When you nurse you can also give bottles. Mine were given both breast and bottle. That way I could tandem nurse when I was alone with them, but I could also pass them off to people if I needed a total break.

I can't imagine not trying to breast feed twins. My life would have been a total hell if I couldn't tandem nurse them, or just shove them on my breast when they needed to calm down.

life'sgreat ↓

Fri, Sep 16 2011, 12:20 pm

I have 7 week old twins (I still can't believe it) and I think you'll regret not doing it. Not because 'breast is best', but because it's way way simpler to breastfeed two babies than to bottlefeed. Holding a screaming baby (or two) and trying to quickly wash and prep a bottle and wait until it's warm/cool enough is way way more time consuming and stressful than just putting them on your breast. It doesn't mean you are the only one feeding the babies.

At this point I nurse them when I can and pump the rest of the time. I have the nurse or my husband give them the bottles the rest of the time. But knowing that I can just breastfeed when I'm alone with them (which will happen) calms me a lot. If I'd be dependent on making bottles, I think I'd be in the loony bin by now.

Also, it's tougher to give two babies a bottle at the same time than it is to breastfeed two babies at the same time.

Chayalle

Fri, Sep 16 2011, 1:47 pm

A friend of mine nursed her twins, who were number 3 and 4, for a while (and her two older kids were 4 and 2!) I came in once and she was sitting on the couch feeding them both. It was awesome!

I think those who tell you to give it a try are giving you great advice. You can always drop it if you feel it's too much for you. Whatever bit of nursing you give them is GREAT! And this way you'd have tried it out.

Whatever you decide - B'shaa Tova! Hashem should give you double Koach and you should have much nachas from them and your oldest too B"EH.

rainbow dash

Sat, Sep 17 2011, 4:24 pm

Hi you are totally normal and dont worry about what other people think or say to you.I also decided not to nurse my twins when I was pregnant with them cause I had a 5 and 3 yr old at home also. I found that yes. other people can help with the feeding. I had people come to my house for 2 hrs and I would sleep while they would feed them. such a help those 2 hrs was. I brought 12 bottles and a sterilizer so I only had to wash up at night. so good luck with your choice. Mom of 22 month old twins and a 5 and 7 yr old.

↑ amother ↓

Sat, Sep 17 2011, 5:17 pm

B'shaah Tova! Twins are such a special Bracha!
My 2 and 3 were also twins, I had nursed my first almost 2 years and had planned to nurse my twins tandemly, however it did not work out.
What I did instead was put them on a nurse/bottle schedule and B"H it worked out so well! So at each feeding one would nurse and the other would get a bottle and we would switch at the next feeding.
This way I could also totally skip a nursing and giave them both bottles I.e: in middle of the night if I needed to.
The pluses were that both took bottles nicely allowing me to leave them, have others help etc...
and I still got the special nursing relationship.
I felt it was even more important with twins to have that "alone just by myself with Mommy " time.
I had a boppy pillow and I would prop the bottle feeding twin up there or in an infant seat and they would take their bottle while I nursed the other one.

ellie23 ↓

Sat, Sep 17 2011, 10:31 pm

as a mother of 3 month old twins I can absolutely assure you that you are normal!

I did intend to nurse and after trying numerous times and ways and ending many nursing sessions because of tears (mine AND theirs) I decided to try pumping which I did for a few weeks. however when they were 4 weeks old I put down the pump which was hurting me and depriving me of sleep and sanity and decided to forge ahead with the formula...I havent looked back since!

my advice: do whats best for your family! ive known some twin moms who only BFed their babies for the first 6 months to a year and they loved it! others like myself are formula feeders......it all depends on what works for you...remember that any amount of breast milk is good for your baby so even if you give them just a little bit and supplement with formula (very common for twins as it usually takes a little while for your milk supply to come in adequately...until then you may need to supplement) it is very healthy for them.

final note: the first few months with twins are very much about SURVIVAL. you will need to do what is best for you to be sane and happy and be able to care for your twins. dont let anyone(even you!) make you feel guilty for feeding them formula because if you feel that is what you need to do then you ARE doing the best thing for your babies..they need a happy functioning mommy!

good luck and message me if you have any questions!

↑ amother

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 1:46 am

You are normal!!! I started nursing my twins at birth, and when they were three weeks old I was ready to lose my mind!! Bottles were a life saver, and also formed a normal eating/sleeping schedule with them. I do NOT regret it!! They grew up to be in perfect health (even more so than my breastfed babies), and in retropspect, it was the best thing I did for me and them. Go with your instict, and don't let anyone try to change that. Good luck, and b'sha tova

ewa-jo

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 3:07 am

I didn't nurse either of my 3 little ones (I pumped and bottle fed) but I wanted to add something really quick.

Formula feeding is*NOT* fussy or time-consuming. I guess it can be, but it's not.

Sterilizing bottles is un-necessary and dumb. Wash them in hot water and dish-soap for 2 seconds... done. I wash bottles once a day. Bottles aren't expensive, so you buy a few to have one whenever you need it.

Heating bottles is an extra step.. forget what the formula instructions say about using cooled-off boiled water. I've always used tapwater at room temperature. If your city's tapwater is yucky, then keep a bottle of bottled water on the counter (not in the fridge!) to mix formula with.

Baby is crying... I walk into the kitchen, grab a bottle, turn on the tap and fill with water, grab the formula can and scoop it, close the bottle and give it a quick shake as I walk into the living room. That's about a minute and a half.

I have no idea how other people make bottle-feeding so complicated.

ally

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 4:26 am

ewa-jo wrote:

As someone who is new to bottlefeeding and nursed for long periods of time...I think nursing is much simpler...To nurse, all I have to do is unhook my bra (~5sec) as opposed to preparing a bottle (1.5 min)...Obviously bottle feeding is not the most complicated thing in the world..but to me, nursing was easier. Maybe its also because I hate doing dishes;)

As to the OP, I would say that if you can nurse, try it...even if its just for the first week or two...and if its not working you can always drop it. You never know how it will be and you can't really go the other way.

sarahd

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 4:54 am

ewa-jo, that's okay by day. At night, you have to get up out of bed, stumble to the kitchen, try to focus and locate the bottle, formula can and water tap. Turn on the light so you can see what you're doing, which wakes you up completely. Then sit up, hold the bottle so that the nipple is full of milk and not air, hold the baby, and feed.

Contrast this to haul baby out of crib (if he's not sleeping with you already), snap open bra and nurse. Fall back asleep while nursing. Baby sleeps too.

I nursed three kids and bottle fed one and I hated the tircha of bottle feeding.

↑ ellie23

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 8:16 am

to add to my previous post..here is a way to prepare bottles so that you do it only once a day and the babies never have to wait for it to be the right temp!!
I wish someone had told this to me..it took about 6 weeks to figure out the most efficient system because let me tell you...when you have 2 screaming babies waiting for their bottles 7-8 times a day, you can kind of go insane! so here it is:
1. newborns eat about every 2-3 hours which totals to about 16 bottles per day for your babies- purchase 16 bottles that hold at least 6 ounces of formula (ull be amazed by how quickly they will be eating that much!

2. if you dont own one already buy a hot water urn (like the shabbos one) and keep it filled to the brim and plugged in at all times.

3. the routine: every morning (or night, whatever works for you) clean the bottles with hot water and dish soap (I never sterilized them- my babies are B"H fine and healthy)....after washing them, fill each one with plain hot water urn water- each bottle should be filled to the halfway point of what they are eating at the time. for example, if each baby is eating 3 ounces of formula every few hours, fill the bottle to the 1.5 ounce point with the water. next, after all bottles are filled with plain water, dump the proper formula amount in there for the entire bottle- if they are eating 3 ounces put in 1.5 scoops of powder and so on....next, shake them all up and put them in the fridge. whenever the babies are ready for a feed simply take out 2 bottles and fill them up with the rest of the needed water from the urn...the bottles will be the perfect temp and ready right away- no screaming babies and a happy mommy- voila!

note: this must be done once a day..any leftover bottles/formula must be thrown away at the end of 24 hours as it can not last in the frisde longer than that..

with my system, you make bottles only once a day and never have to wait for the feed...

good luck! bottle feeding is not so bad at all!

↑ PinkFridge

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 9:22 am

sarahd wrote:

I'm with you all the way. But we do have to appreciate that it's a bit more complicated with twins.

Kumphort

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 9:35 am

From the way your question is worded, YOU don't seem so comfortable formula feeding.

If you want more tips/success stories, there are plenty of those out there too,

I recently finished nursing my twins at 23 months, much longer than I nursed my singletons, and while I won't deny that the beginning takes work and dedication, in the long run it's fun and totally worth it!

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 11:02 am

Just as an FYI, the medical information about formula feeding is very exacting how a baby should be fed. Especially with twins who are likely to be early, the risk of necrotizing enterocolitis is very, very real. You're not even supposed to use powdered formula the first month, yet people conveniently ignore this advice...and now you're telling women to not take safety precautions when preparing formula for tiny babies? I completely agree that many steps are not necessary for older babies with a healthy immune system, but if we're talking about 4 lb 36 weekers, this is dangerous advice.

Please do read up on formula safety if you decide to formula feed for the health of your babies.