Give it a break. Accept and respect, or don't, and leave it alone anyway.
I see no respect anywhere in your post.
I may be new here, but if I ever speak so disrespectfully about frumkeit as this:
Quote:
Yeah, I know you also spoke about G-d Himself and the Chumash... Yawn, as if we don't know what's written in there.
Mods, please kick me off this site if I ever let an internet discussion drag me to such depths. Forget being rude to Shalhevet, do you realize how much contempt this shows for Torah?
You're new here, Having. This is not the first time I have to remind Shalhevet that we Lubavitchers know perfectly well what Judaism is about.
I was NOT yawning at the Chumash, I was yawning at Shalhevet's reminding us of what's written inside.
I just watched a clip of the Lubavitcher Rebbe explaining why he doesn't visit in EY. He said that the Jews here need him, and if he visits, he won't halachically be able to come back to America. I think it was pretty clear that some have their work cut out for them elsewhere, and accomplish amazing things, but there is no contesting that EY is the ideal.
I don't know if the reasoning is the same but I did hear that R' Avigdor Miller never went to EY. It might have to do with being bitul zman and not part of his tafkid.
I was NOT yawning at the Chumash, I was yawning at Shalhevet's reminding us of what's written inside.
Perhaps in future you could avoid the ambiguity.
You're right, I'm sorry. Sometimes when I post something directed at one person, I forget there are others reading who might not understand my intent. I will try to be more careful.
I'm not so sure that camp is "all about the kids".
Someone should do a poll here - do those who send their kids at young ages to school/camp/playgroup also have cleaning help/go for manicures/dinners out and takeout food ?
I think the answers would correlate perfectly.
I sent my kids to camps if there were affordable, appropriate options. I sent all of most of my kids to nursery (practically a requirement now), some to playgroup, one even younger who needed stimulation.
I don't have cleaning help, don't get (or want) manicures, don't eat out, don't buy takeout food, make quite a lot from scratch.
I just watched a clip of the Lubavitcher Rebbe explaining why he doesn't visit in EY. He said that the Jews here need him, and if he visits, he won't halachically be able to come back to America. I think it was pretty clear that some have their work cut out for them elsewhere, and accomplish amazing things, but there is no contesting that EY is the ideal.
I don't know if the reasoning is the same but I did hear that R' Avigdor Miller never went to EY. It might have to do with being bitul zman and not part of his tafkid.
Yes! Two pages ago when this started I was going to mention that. IIRC he said something like, I still haven't finished getting all I can out of my own daled amos, or something like that. (Right, breathing in the great NY air, we all know that story.)
This explanation of ma duch has been very eye-opening for me, because my impression had been all along that the rebbe had very serious chavivus ha'aretz. Not that I don't think he did after all this but I have to confess to not quite getting it. (As an aside, Rabbi Reisman once focused one of his motzei Shabbos shiurim on the Chasam Sofer and his chavivus ha'aretz. Very beautiful.)
There have always been, to my knowledge, some givens. Our hearts are to be in the east, even if we are compelled to be at the edge of the west, to quote a true bard, lehavdil. We are constantly davening not just for the world to be righted but a return to the physical land. That people can achieve their full potential in kedusha anywhere in this world is not a contradiction. That some places have a very special atmosphere, also. The appellation Yerushalayim d'Amerika was given to more than one early 20th century American city. That there is value in living in particular communities chutz l'aretz, with people with common goals to be mechazek each other is also not a contradiction. But which gadol at anywhere, anytime, didn't have an achingly profound love for the land Hashem has given us, even if he wasn't happy with current developments?
As we approach the three weeks it behooves all of us to spend some time, maybe at critical points during Shemoneh Esrei, or even while doing dishes, laundry etc., contemplating where Eretz Yisroel fits into our lives.
P.S. The Torah was given to us in a midbar to make it really, really clear that our existence as a people was not contingent on where we would live geographically. This in no way minimizes the centrality of the physical land of Eretz Yisrael in our hearts and outlooks, even if - and I do not question the legitimacy of the view as espoused by true and responsible gedolim - one has serious issues with the medina as it is now. I'm probably simplifying, possibly to the point of simplification, but that's one of the things I'm good at ;-)
[quote="Mama Bear"]I have come to the realization that this thread is the epitome of POINTLESS.
I mean this is a reaching out to you way and I hope you don't find it pointless: You need family therapy MB, you truly do. I have a special needs 6 yr old who acts very similar to your 3 yr old. You need to change you attitude b/c the vast majority of what you write is typical rambunctious child behavior. And I pray your family increases in size one day but seriously, this is one child, not ten and the way you carry on about the way he carries on...wow. Pack a few crackers with some nuts and raisins and eat your snack as you push him in the stroller. Whenever you sat down with him to feed him the sandwich, take a few bites and be done with it. Such drama never getting around to eating, it's amazing. And the way he ran around the park - what was he supposed to do at the park?? You need to change your attitude b/c when they get to be older, they weigh more, they get faster, they don't ride in strollers at all etc etc etc and with the negative attitude, you're gonna be even more miserable.
If I had more time I would rewrite you whole park shpiel from a positive point of view to show you just how negative and blown out of proportion it is. (total side note - you're a great writer!)
I didn't read all 30 pages of this thread but let me tell you all something. I LIKE FREE TIME. I LIKE GOING TO THE BATHROOM ALONE AND SITTING ON MY COUCH DRINKING COFFEE AND READING IMAMOTHER AND SHOPPING IN THE MARKET WITHOUT KIDS CLIMBING OUT OF THE CART AND BEGGING FOR NOSH. And I sent all my kids out to camp this summer including the one who is not even 2 yet. So what? Who said you need to make life hard for yourslf? I don't feel like I need to spend 24/7 with my kids. I AM ENJOYING MY SUMMER AND SO ARE THEY. (and in case you need to know I pay full tuition)
I mean this is a reaching out to you way and I hope you don't find it pointless: You need family therapy MB, you truly do. I have a special needs 6 yr old who acts very similar to your 3 yr old. You need to change you attitude b/c the vast majority of what you write is typical rambunctious child behavior. And I pray your family increases in size one day but seriously, this is one child, not ten and the way you carry on about the way he carries on...wow. Pack a few crackers with some nuts and raisins and eat your snack as you push him in the stroller. Whenever you sat down with him to feed him the sandwich, take a few bites and be done with it. Such drama never getting around to eating, it's amazing. And the way he ran around the park - what was he supposed to do at the park?? You need to change your attitude b/c when they get to be older, they weigh more, they get faster, they don't ride in strollers at all etc etc etc and with the negative attitude, you're gonna be even more miserable.
If I had more time I would rewrite you whole park shpiel from a positive point of view to show you just how negative and blown out of proportion it is. (total side note - you're a great writer!)
Amother - first of all if you want to discuss special needs kids, please take it over to the special needs forum. you can be anonymous. I dont want to go into nitty gritty pithy details over here about my beautiful and challenging child. SOrry if you feel I was overdramatizing, but a day like this drains every ounce of energy from me. I do NOT want to think about the future - the present is hard enough. he already weighs KEH 40 pounds and REFUSES to get into the stroller and just wants to run away. I dont need to wait for him to be 6 or 10 to act the way he does. I truly hope he improves with time, or I dont think I'll survive my life. This isnt what I signed up for.
Anyway, bring it over to the closed forum, I do not want to discuss it in a thread that GUESTS CAN READ. DID YOU ALL REALIZE THIS THREAD IS VISIBLE TO GUESTS???/ ARGH.
Mamabear, I am sorry for what you are going through. It has nothing to do with living in Brooklyn although that doesn't seem to add to the joy...had you been living in a house in five towns and had to put your son in with your into your car and drive him to the markets to get the things that you need sounds like he would have made the same ruckus because that is who he is or what is problems are or how he is being raised or whatever, I can't really figure it out. On the one hand it sounds like all the more active little kids I have known or raised. Some kids scream all the time. You strap them in and tune it out if there is no way to stop their screaming. You keep them literally on a leash when they are out of the stroller so that they can't run away if they are so hyperactive and you are so tired.
Was he like this at eighteen months? I seem to remember your writing aobut him at that age that he was also rambunctious. However at eighteen months you couldn't send him anywhere...how did you cope then?
If you have errands to do and a mother, sisters or sisters in law within walking distance of your home why can't you leave him with them for an hour and a half while you get all your stuff done fast? And you have to have some structure to YOUR day as well. As a mother who knows what it is like to put your kids first and not eat anything that is NOT SMART especially as you need nutrition to care for them. Let them scream in the morning and sit down and have something to eat. If your little one is that rambunctious and you need to be able to sit for three minutes invest in this contraption that is like a harness and give him something to eat or play with and harness him to the chair while you sit and eat. He might scream the first five times but once he sees that you mean business, unless you are taking an hour to eat and he loses it, he will learn that mommy needs ten minutes to eat. Have you ever tried that?
Again, I dont' know whether his issues are making him so out of control, but what you describe doesn't have to be that way. Even for a three year old. Even for a three year old with what he has...
It's not 'rambunctious' - it's being non verbal and oppositional and sensory and a million things. I cant leave him with relatives; they dont know how to handle him. He would destroy their houses in minutes.
I Bh have volunteers, res-hab workers, therapists etc who take care of him for part of the day; this being July 4 and the girls away in camp I was on my own and I had errands that couldn't wait. A harness does not work for him; he's KEH 40 pounds and 40 inches and I cant even hold him down to strap him in to his stroller.
Forgive me. It's been an impossibly difficult week, with this being therapy intersession. Having him home almost all day almost every day when I have so, so much to do has been draining. BH tomorrow morning is the day I've been anticipating almost as eagerly as the arrival of Moshiach: The start of the summer therapy session.
My point was, that he is as much work as five neurotypical children. If I was left drained after 1 hour in a LOCAL park, I cannot begin to picture how someone can do this every day for 10 weeks.
anyway, it's all over, it's water under the bridge, this topic has to get laid to rest, no use beating a dead horse, I'll crawl back into my mouse-hole, and stop with the mixed metaphors .
Interestingly this discussion came up at a wedding today. I didn't initiate lol. My sister and step sister were discussing camp and kids. They each have older and needed kids. My step sister is home with her seven kids this summer. My sister would have kept hers home except they are at my mother for the summer and don't know anyone. They both think its challenging but rewarding.
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