Prioritizing Tuition (Split from School Closing)

↑ MommyZ ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:39 am

chavamom wrote:

Newsflash - I am an RN. I work those night shifts. My husband has a salary. I think you are in for a shock at how far that salary doesn't go esp. when you have to live in NYC, pay a mortgage, insurance, food AND pay $30K in tuition a year (for your 3 kids).

I know you are an RN. Once DH gets promoted to Sgt. and beyond he'll be earning six figures in salary. He works a lot of overtime and will hopefully be getting full night shift differential. We don't pay for insurance since we get that through his job- medical dental optical. Our car is very old. I know it won't be easy but my goal is to be able to pay full tuition for my three kids. I don't plan on buying a million dollar apartment. I'm hoping somehow it will work.

↑ chavamom ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:44 am

saw50st8 wrote:

My husband and I both make professional salaries. Granted, we don't have 8 kids, but 3 kids in yeshiva is affordable on those salaries.

IF...

....you've never had a period where you were unemployed

.....you don't have your own school loans

.....you have a reasonable mortgage

.....you don't have a child with exceptional medical expenses

.....and on and on.

We've had all of those.

Pat yourself on the back and I hope it all works out for you. But I just hope you realize that you sound very smug. Life has a way of not turning out to be as easy as the best laid plans.

↑ MommyZ ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:48 am

chavamom wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

My husband and I both make professional salaries. Granted, we don't have 8 kids, but 3 kids in yeshiva is affordable on those salaries.

Life can throw curve balls. BH my DH has never been unemployed. Underemployed? Yes but not unemployed. Neither one of us has student loans. We go to public colleges and our parents paid/are paying for it. BH insurance covers our few medical expenses. It may not be possible for you and that's life but this is our goal that with professional advancement and family planning we will be able to afford full tuition.

Last edited by MommyZ on Thu, Nov 04 2010, 3:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

↑ Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:51 am

chavamom wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

My husband and I both make professional salaries. Granted, we don't have 8 kids, but 3 kids in yeshiva is affordable on those salaries.

Thank you for echoing my thoughts.

↑ saw50st8 ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:54 am

MommyZ wrote:

chavamom wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

My husband and I both make professional salaries. Granted, we don't have 8 kids, but 3 kids in yeshiva is affordable on those salaries.

Life can throw curve balls. BH my DH has never been unemployed. Underemployed? Yes but not unemployed. Neither one of us has student loans. We got to public colleges and our parents paid/are paying for it. BH insurance covers our few medical expenses. It may not be possible for you and that's life but this is our goal that with professional advancement and family planning we will be able to afford full tuition.

Chavamom, I'm sorry life threw you all those curves.

You may be suffering from the delusion that I come from this perfect family where everything was handed to me on a silver platter. Let me assure you, while I come from a wonderful family, life has been tough. I work hard. I also chose a job that I don't like as much but is almost recession proof. Part of it, is good decisions that led to more good decisions. part of it is luck. The important part is to have a plan. I am not smug. I realize that life is hard and things crop up and people can't always make ends meet. But staying in your situation without a way to improve it does not help anyone.

MommyZ may never succeed in her plan, but she has a plan and is trying to implement it. She is not saying "I'm going to rely on communal assistance forever" because its the path of least resistance. I personally believe she is going to succeed.

HY, amen and may your financial situation improve.

Barbara ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:56 am

MommyZ wrote:

chavamom wrote:

On a nurse and policeman's salary in NYC? Please get back to me after you've pulled that one off for 12 years x3.

Nope a nurse and a police Sgt. thank you very much Smile

. Not all police officers stay police officers forever. Some become detectives some become Sgt., Lt., Capt etc etc and move up the ranks increasing their salaries. Also in case you didn't know in NYC the base salary before shift differential and overtime for a cop is $75k after 5.5 years (this being the old contract and it will only go up when they sign a new contract if not stay the same) and nurses often earn $60k or more starting salary. Sgt.s earn even more. So yes I am hoping and planning to one day be able to afford full tuition for my three children.

We can't afford it yet but we're hoping to be able to and then continue to contribute to our school after they graduate since it is a Kehillah school and we are members of the Kehillah.

Our school is about $20,000 per year, per kid, for elementary, $32,000 for high school. Even a cheaper school is what, $10,000 per year per kid? Assuming a tax rate of 50%, you need to earn $60,000 per year to put 3 kids through even that cheaper yeshiva. Which is pretty close to what you list for your husband's salary.

That's why its a tuition crisis.

↑ chavamom ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:59 am

saw50st8 wrote:

You may be suffering from the delusion that I come from this perfect family where everything was handed to me on a silver platter. Let me assure you, while I come from a wonderful family, life has been tough. I work hard. I also chose a job that I don't like as much but is almost recession proof. Part of it, is good decisions that led to more good decisions. part of it is luck. The important part is to have a plan. I am not smug. I realize that life is hard and things crop up and people can't always make ends meet. But staying in your situation without a way to improve it does not help anyone.

MommyZ may never succeed in her plan, but she has a plan and is trying to implement it. She is not saying "I'm going to rely on communal assistance forever" because its the path of least resistance. I personally believe she is going to succeed.

HY, amen and may your financial situation improve.

No, I don't think anything like that. What I *do* think is that you haven't raised your children yet. And there are few people who get through life without have "curveballs".

↑ Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 11:59 am

MommyZ wrote:

chavamom wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

My husband and I both make professional salaries. Granted, we don't have 8 kids, but 3 kids in yeshiva is affordable on those salaries.

Aren't you lucky your parents paid for your college?

Let's see.
My mother was laid off. For a year, she only had temp work. B"H she now has a decent job. She was supposed to be promoted based on excellent test results, but oops. No money for the promoted position. She has no idea when/if she'll ever be promoted.
My father? Hasn't been paid in about a year and a half. Well, that's not accurate. They gave him 3 months of backlogged pay to help with my brother's wedding, IIRC.
My brother? Has a degree, brilliant guy (you know him). Hasn't found a job in the 3/4 of a year he's been looking. Temporarily was a mashgiach, $10/hour for slave labor. Taking his time off to study for more tests in his field, but he needs income.
My sister? Major student loans because my parents can't pay for their kids' college. Finishing her masters now. Doing it full time, and she can't work yet to make any money. She's smart, got some scholarships, but she still will have what to pay off for a while. Hopefully she'll find a job when she graduates in the spring.
Another sister? Finished her bachelors. Going for a Masters online so she would be able to work during the day. No job offered. She's been subbing/babysitting when the opportunity arises, but nothing steady. Extremely responsible, smart, and good at what she does. But no job.

I'm very happy for those whose lives are smooth in the financial aspect. But not everyone is zoche to that same parnassah. Which is all fine. As long as those who are blessed don't think of themselves as greater than others, as if it's their "good decisions" that led them to financial stability. Some is hishtadlus. A huge chunk is all in G-d's hands.

↑ chavamom ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 12:03 pm

Barbara wrote:

Just to be clear, you mean $60K/year just to cover the tuition. Thank you Barbara for bringing a little reality to the discussion. There is a reason that even the professionals I know are struggling with tuition.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 12:06 pm

How to put someone on your "Ignore" list, so you don't have to read their posts anymore:

(1) Click "Edit Profile" (just above the "Quick Search" box)

(2) Click "Ignore List" (just above the "Avatar control panel")

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(4) Click "Ignore User"

And you're done! There are two other users who used to drive me nuts on this board until I discovered this nifty little feature. Seriously, it's just not worth the aggravation or the emotional energy. Every time I see that a post was blocked because a user is on my ignore list, I feel so glad that I made such a wise decision to spare myself the aggravation. I suggest others do the same. Hope this little tutorial has helped!

↑ chavamom ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 12:08 pm

amother wrote:

Why do I think I know who amother is?

↑ saw50st8 ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 12:09 pm

HY, yes my family paid for my tuition. We had an agreement - I wanted to go to school out of town, they wanted me to stay local. OOT school was much cheaper so they agreed to pay for school here.

I don't think I'm better than people who can't pay tuition. I don't think I'm better than people who have had a hard time and haven't been able to catch up.

I do think I'm better than people who don't try and don't try to improve their situation by relying on communcal support without an attempt at being able to be self sufficient. Do you understand the difference?

↑ saw50st8 ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 12:11 pm

amother wrote:

Can I put amother on ignore? LOL

↑ Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 12:14 pm

saw50st8 wrote:

Of course I understand the difference. I just don't think that I know of anyone who wouldn't try to make more money and be more financially stable.

STovah

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 1:33 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Secondly, just for one minute I want you to picture the 25,000 kids KE"H in Williamsburg starting to go to public school... wait. which public school? There is no room for them, even.

Sorry, but I need to shed some light on this argument - if 25K frum kids decided to enroll in public school, NYC would find a way to accommodate. Aside from the fact that there is a right to public education for children, I'm sure many in the school system would be thrilled to have an influx of parents who are engaged in their children's education. If the district schools didn't have room, the school system would bus them to other districts, or they'd put up trailers. Whenever this is used as an argument for school vouchers, I laugh, because a)everyone knows this is an empty threat and b)the school system would find a way to accommodate.

↑ saw50st8 ↓

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 1:39 pm

STovah wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

Secondly, just for one minute I want you to picture the 25,000 kids KE"H in Williamsburg starting to go to public school... wait. which public school? There is no room for them, even.

My cousins went to PS in Brooklyn and they had shifts - some went 7-12 some went 12-5 (or something like that). They would LOVE to have lots of kids whos parents value education in public school.

And while I agree the PS in NYC isn't great for frum kids, there are other options.

MaBelleVie

Thu, Nov 04 2010, 1:48 pm

Where I live, anyone who would like a tuition break at the yeshiva has to fill out extensive paperwork with very detailed, personal questions. They ask your salary, how many cars you have, what kind, how many hours a week of cleaning help, how much all your health and housing costs are, clothing costs, average grocery bills- the works. Plus the name of a rav who can vouch for all that. It's a small enough community that they know the truth. And then it's up to the school to decide how much (if any) of a break the family will get.

Why don't all the schools do that?