Tomboy daughter study

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 9:14 pm

GLUE wrote:

One Shobbos in Shul my husband was learning Navi with one of our sons. Someone came to ask him why he is learning this, Navi is for girls to learn not boys.

Never heard that.. In my circles girls say tehillim

amother

Quince

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 9:31 pm

I wasn't a tomboy when I was little but became a huge one age 10 - 12. My mother was an older mom, but she was also a horrible mom. I think part of me becoming a tomboy at the beginnimg of puberty was because I wanted to be as far apart from her as possible. She was not very feminine though, but she wasn't good at boy type things. She was super anxious and incompetent and wasn't good at much of anything.

If I had been born a few years later, chas veshalom, I probably would have thought I was trans. By the grace of Gd, I hadn't even heard of trans until I was 14 and by then puberty was in full swing and I still hated my mom, but was satisfied with being a girl.

Maybe do a poll to see if girls are more likely to be tomboys when they have incompetent mothers they hate? I didn't love my dad much either, but he was more neutral, wasn't around that much (aka he worked full time), and didn't helicopter when he was around, so that made him much more tolerable than the mom-thing.

amother

Steelblue

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 9:40 pm

I was a "tomboy". My mother had me at around 25, less than a year after she had a non-tomboy girl. I had my oldest at 35, she's just like me and also a "tomboy". We both also liked tons of girly stuff just also lots of what people call tomboy stuff. The stereotypes are dumb and I used to wish I was a boy until I learned that it was totally acceptable for a girl and I didn't have to compromise my gender to do certain things.

Ruchel

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 2:17 am

GLUE wrote:

I was reading an article a few years ago called, What happened to all the Tomboys?

The author of this study was commenting how Tomboys where very common in the 1970's but not so common now. It spoke about the culture difference and why the author thinks things changed.

I don't remember the whole thing.

BH the acceptable interests broadened. Now they make science stuff literally appealing to girls as opposed to the opposite. Etc. I've had periods where my interests ranged from volcanoes to princesses. Loved climbing trees. Loved makeup.

My own daughters, tomboy isn't a concept in this house. If you keep halacha you're good.

Also my mom was 28 in case it counts

DrMom

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 4:43 am

You're not going to get anything out of a poll like this. At the very least, you need to figure out at what age women have kids of all types, and see if it differs from the age at which they have tomboys.

DrMom

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 5:04 am

GLUE wrote:

One Shobbos in Shul my husband was learning Navi with one of our sons. Someone came to ask him why he is learning this, Navi is for girls to learn not boys.

Odd. The entire Tanach is for all the Jewish people.

amother

Winterberry

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 5:27 am

My mother was 32, but I think the tomboy part of my nature came from being smack in middle of boys and not liking my girly older sister.
I played with boys for as long as was appropriate. Then at age 12 or 13, stopped playing with unrelated boys, but still played a lot of sports with my brothers.

I'm embarrassed now when I think about it, but I genuinely believed I was physically stronger than most boys. Because before puberty I was. And after puberty my brothers allowed me to win. I was 16 years old and genuinely thought I was beating my older and younger brothers more than half the time at arm wrestling!
Then I got married. Challenged my husband to an arm wrestle. It wasn't even a fight. Afterwards my brother admitted that they let me win.

Sounds so stupid. But it was a funny memory that I haven't thought about in a while.

Comptroller

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 5:39 am

GLUE wrote:

That's an interesting question

In the 70s, there was a unisex-fashion, girls wouls dress like boys, boys would grow long hair like girls. So maybe there were more girls looking like tomboys.

But does it mean that there really were more tomboys around?

And how do you define a tomboy? Is a girl a tomboy when she does not like to play with dolls? When she does not like to wear skirts? When she likes to work with wood rather than wool or pearls?

Because the fact that some activities are thought to be "more for boys" or "more for girls" is also a random attribution, to some extent, and might vary according to the society.

Chayalle

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 6:59 am

I have one daughter who loved sports, riding bikes, hiking, climbing trees, caught frogs and turtles and bugs, etc...(and up to a certain age was best friends with our neighbor's son (which our LOR said was no problem) ) but she also loved pretty girly clothes and is very feminine as an adult. She was a tomboy in some ways but definitely not in others.....

Looking at your age ranges, I had two of my daughters - one girly and hates anything boyish, and the one above - in the same age range.

GLUE

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 1:54 am

DrMom wrote:

Odd. The entire Tanach is for all the Jewish people.

The joke in our house now is,
Why did the Beni Yisrol not listen to the Navi?
Because Navi is for girls, so when the Naviom where telling the men on how to improve they said go bother the women we don't have to listen to you.

amother

Hydrangea

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 4:12 am

I am a tomboy, born when my.mothwr was 26.

I have two girls, one in my late 20 and one in my late 30s, the older one is a girly girl and the younger one is still a toddler so who knows.

amother

Tan

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 6:29 am

My mom had me when she was in her mid to late 30's. I was considered a tomboy because I grew up between brothers and only wanted to do what they did. I think it was because they looked like they were having so much more fun than me. My mother was a stay at home and do nothing type of person and my brothers were always out and about, yeshiva, going away for shabbos with their Rebbe. Everything revolved around their Rebbe and I wanted to be a part of it too.
I'm a girl at heart but on the outside I'm so not.

amother

Glitter

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 6:57 pm

I was (am?) a tomboy but I grew up secular so I kind of don’t fit this poll at all.

Mom was OLD .

Now I try to “blend in” with my yeshivish community so probably don’t look very tomboyish but I’m more comfortable outside digging in the dirt(maybe why I teach preschool ?)

My daughter is not a tomboy. She’s too young to be much of anything yet, really!
I’m kind of glad for her sake that the tomboy label has died out. We can just all let girls play sports without that having to be a “boy” thing.