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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Sat, Apr 20 2024, 11:11 pm
My daughter was recently diagnosed with asd. She is so so cute but also the hardest child everrrrrr. She tests my every word. Makes me feel like a complete loser because I have no way of controlling her most of the time. Sometimes I get really angry and yell and I feel so guilty. She told me the ither day you have to talk nocely you yell alot and that brought tears to my eyes. When when I yell its usually something dangerous and I need her to stop. Sometimes I have to take something away and instead of taking I grab it. Sometimes I have to carry her because she's throwing a tantrum and I'm not so gentle. Sometimes I cry because I feel like a monster because I want to celebrate when she isn't home. I have such anxiety when I'm home with her. It's like I can't do anything else because I need to watch her. I have other kids and she requires most of my attention. She has all therapies and everything possible.... nothing seems to really help unfortunately. Just venting here......
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amother
Navyblue
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Sat, Apr 20 2024, 11:15 pm
Vent away. Just know I get it and you’re not alone. It’s hard having a hard child. I lose my cool also but I always try to calm myself quickly and explain what happened and why I reacted that way.. easier said then done.
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amother
Lightcoral
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Sat, Apr 20 2024, 11:20 pm
You are a wonderful mom who is doing everything for your child! It's okay not to be perfect 24/7! You are amazing!
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CPenzias
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Sat, Apr 20 2024, 11:50 pm
I'm so sorry. It sounds so hard. I'm a teacher for kids with autism. They're in kindergarten. I've taught special education kids for 12 years but this year all my students are autistic. It's a specialized class. I love them so much, these kids are so pure. Nothing they do is with malice. I truly believe that all behavior is a forn of communication when it comes to them.
That said, it is hard work! I learned a lot from the kids. I ask why they do certain things etc and try to put myself in their shoes. I definitely scream sometimes and get frustrated with them but I try so hard not to. I'm not sure how old your daughter is. Bh she can verbally communicate.
I also learned to tell them what you want them to do as opposed to "don't run" say "walking feet"
How old is your daughter?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Apr 21 2024, 12:28 am
CPenzias wrote: | I'm so sorry. It sounds so hard. I'm a teacher for kids with autism. They're in kindergarten. I've taught special education kids for 12 years but this year all my students are autistic. It's a specialized class. I love them so much, these kids are so pure. Nothing they do is with malice. I truly believe that all behavior is a forn of communication when it comes to them.
That said, it is hard work! I learned a lot from the kids. I ask why they do certain things etc and try to put myself in their shoes. I definitely scream sometimes and get frustrated with them but I try so hard not to. I'm not sure how old your daughter is. Bh she can verbally communicate.
I also learned to tell them what you want them to do as opposed to "don't run" say "walking feet"
How old is your daughter? | 4, she communicates very well bh. I hate that I get frustrated at her alot.
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CPenzias
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Sun, Apr 21 2024, 12:57 am
amother OP wrote: | 4, she communicates very well bh. I hate that I get frustrated at her alot. |
I don't blame you one bit! It's hard! Give yourself grace and kudos to you for coming here to seek help. There are groups on Facebook and Instagram also that can help. My friend wrote some cute books on neurodivergence as well. (Nicole Filippone)
Ask her why she does whatever it is and see what she says. Also, once you calm down explain why you reacted the way you did. "Mommy screamed at you because I was afraid you would get hurt from doing that. It's dangerous. I'm sorry I screamed, I love you so much" and tell her what you want her to do as opposed to "don't climb" you can say "feet on the floor" ❤️
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amother
Amber
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Sun, Apr 21 2024, 12:58 am
We've had a lot of success taking the biomedical route -- addressing the biological and medical root causes of asd. I can recommend some books if you're interested
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amother
OP
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Sun, Apr 21 2024, 2:01 am
amother Amber wrote: | We've had a lot of success taking the biomedical route -- addressing the biological and medical root causes of asd. I can recommend some books if you're interested | sure
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amother
Rainbow
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Sun, Apr 21 2024, 2:38 am
amother Amber wrote: | We've had a lot of success taking the biomedical route -- addressing the biological and medical root causes of asd. I can recommend some books if you're interested |
This. My kid was diagnosed adhd, taurettes , gad, unspecified mood disorder and possibly asd.
The book finally focused was an eye opener.
We did lots of neuropathic stuff and body work.
She's currently on medication for adhd and tics but the other diagnosis fell away.
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amother
Amber
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Sun, Apr 21 2024, 7:24 am
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