I’m that broke…

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 5:59 am

When a woman is working full time to add towards the home support, The Husband must help.
Morning is getting up early for Davening, come home and help get kids dressed. The wife might have to be at work at 7.30am already. (I have family with these hours) Husband takes children to school,preschool. He then goes to work. He will pick up 1.00 pm or 4.00pm Mom will. There is no rest Dinner is next. Young children will go into bed by 7.30pm. at night you prepare lunch for children and sandwiches for school. Husband can wash dishes, sweep in afternoon. You get used to schedule. When husband takes on outside work, then Mom might work less. Not always.

amother

Wine

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 6:36 am

Elfrida wrote:

Start work at 7:30. Your husband goes to early minyan and is home by that time. He deals with getting everyone out of the house in the morning.

Get home at 3:30, in time to meet the hasa'ah or do pick up from tzaharon. Optionally, employ a teenager for a rew hours once or twice a week to give you a hand with childcare or light housework.

It's a lot easier when you work out of the house and have fixed hours, then leave your job in the office.

I was doing this - but what people forget about in the calculation is travel time.

I lived what should be a 15 min drive from my work place- but on public transportation + traffic it tok 45 min on a good day , and up to an hour 15.

What actually ended up happening:
Left house 6:30 ( to early for dh to do early minyan) got to work 7:15
Dh would drop kids of 7:30, often gananot wherent there yet and he had to wait, run to minyan and get to kollel late.

I would leave work at 3:15 (8 hours) but because of traffic I was often late and had to either pay a teenager or ask a friend to pick up. I found that really damaging to my kids- they need a parent to unwind when they get picked up, and I was exhausted when I ran from my bus to the tzahron.

Now I switched to remote work.
Dh does drop off at 8:15 - 8:30 after minyan, I work 5 hours from 8:15 to 1:15. Then I pick up the baby take a nap with him until 2:30 and then prep dinner, do laundry, clean up - an then pick up from tzharon at 4.

We hang out in the afternoon, DH comes home 6:30 and we do bedtime together. By 7:30 (usually) everyone is out and I work from 8-11. Dh comes home at 10:30 from night seder and helps put the place back together while I finish work.

Also Dh took the responsibility of grocery shopping off my shoulders - he does that bein hasdarim or before night seder while I work.

amother

Wine

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 6:42 am

amother Powderblue wrote:

None of you have babysitters for kids under 3 who only go 8:45 - 1:30? And what do you do at times of the year without tzaharon or without gan altogether?

This is the hardest part.

Dh is in kollel so its a bit easier - if its bein hazmanim its his headache.

We pay for kaytanot - that is one of the big yearly expenses we save every month for.

When there is no tzaharon it is really hard, but again, there are usually kaytanot or we pay a teenager in our house.

I also save my PTO and sick days for this - I really push myself to work even if I am sick and to make up hours if I need to so that I can be around. Sometimes I will make a deal with a friend where we watch each others kids while we are working.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 7:04 am

amother Powderblue wrote:

None of you have babysitters for kids under 3 who only go 8:45 - 1:30? And what do you do at times of the year without tzaharon or without gan altogether?

When you work full time you learn to send to babysitters that have longer hours Smile

And there are kaytanas for days that don't have gan.
If you are missing a day here or there without kaytana it's usually during bein hazmanim and your husband can watch your kids.

Doctors appointments- Either the husband brings the child or you take off sick leave from work for an hour or two (My boss let me take an hour here or there and add them up to sick days and then register it as a sick day)