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-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:12 am
I know this is so normal I just dont know how to handle it. My almost 2 year old doesn’t listen to “no” he will say “no” as he is doing things he shouldnt. Some of it are dangerous like climbing off stuff. I will remove him say firmly no climbing he will even repeat it but then go right back to it. If I say no from across the room he does whatever behavior even quicker. Looking for all ideas other than physical not gonna debate but I will not hit my child. Save that debate for another thread.
Thank you all you experienced mommys
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amother
Starflower
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:15 am
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Physically remove him and redirect him
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amother
Garnet
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:16 am
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Remove him & redirect him. Rinse & repeat. It's annoying, but that's the age.
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amother
Aster
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:19 am
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It's important to understand that he's not doing it to spite you or anything, he's genuinely trying to learn how the world works. It's a very hands on age. He will get the meaning of "no" soon enough.
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amother
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 6:19 pm
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Anything besides just removing him I've done this a few hundred times
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amother
Alyssum
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 6:21 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Anything besides just removing him I've done this a few hundred times |
Obviously this isn't working, so maybe you need to reread your OP and figure out a solution.
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amother
Burntblack
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 6:32 pm
A few points. First, reword what you are saying. Instead of no climbing on the table, say feet on the floor. Coaching it in positive terms is always better and gives the child a focus of what they should do. Saying no, especially in a loud voice is a great game and most children like playing it. Try to minimize this where possible. And the least attention you give to a new thing or behavior, the quicker he is likely to stop doing it. If every time he stands on the table, you shout no and pick him up and give him a speech about how dangerous it is, he's going to learn that this is something that gives him attention, so he will want to do it again. Simply putting him on the floor and saying feet on the floor, won't give him that attention.
At this age, redirecting is usually the easiest. Have a toy he likes handy and sit him down with it. Or move into a different room.
If he is a highly active child, I have had several of those. What I found helpful was having some things they could climb. I had a small climbing frame in the playroom and a mini trampoline. Obviously this is space dependent. But if they do have that energy, it has to go somewhere and it's best if it can be redirected positively.
And something important with all children of any age is to pick your battles. Is this something that really matters or is it something that's irritating? Trying to jump headfirst off the table is dangerous, but repeatedly throwing his bottle off the highchair is annoying but not dangerous.
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amother
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 6:49 pm
| amother Burntblack wrote: | A few points. First, reword what you are saying. Instead of no climbing on the table, say feet on the floor. Coaching it in positive terms is always better and gives the child a focus of what they should do. Saying no, especially in a loud voice is a great game and most children like playing it. Try to minimize this where possible. And the least attention you give to a new thing or behavior, the quicker he is likely to stop doing it. If every time he stands on the table, you shout no and pick him up and give him a speech about how dangerous it is, he's going to learn that this is something that gives him attention, so he will want to do it again. Simply putting him on the floor and saying feet on the floor, won't give him that attention.
At this age, redirecting is usually the easiest. Have a toy he likes handy and sit him down with it. Or move into a different room.
If he is a highly active child, I have had several of those. What I found helpful was having some things they could climb. I had a small climbing frame in the playroom and a mini trampoline. Obviously this is space dependent. But if they do have that energy, it has to go somewhere and it's best if it can be redirected positively.
And something important with all children of any age is to pick your battles. Is this something that really matters or is it something that's irritating? Trying to jump headfirst off the table is dangerous, but repeatedly throwing his bottle off the highchair is annoying but not dangerous. |
Thank you this is very helpful gonna try it!
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amother
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 6:50 pm
| amother Alyssum wrote: | | Obviously this isn't working, so maybe you need to reread your OP and figure out a solution. |
Hu? Im asking for other ideas
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mig100
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 9:03 pm
| amother Burntblack wrote: | A few points. First, reword what you are saying. Instead of no climbing on the table, say feet on the floor. Coaching it in positive terms is always better and gives the child a focus of what they should do. Saying no, especially in a loud voice is a great game and most children like playing it. Try to minimize this where possible. And the least attention you give to a new thing or behavior, the quicker he is likely to stop doing it. If every time he stands on the table, you shout no and pick him up and give him a speech about how dangerous it is, he's going to learn that this is something that gives him attention, so he will want to do it again. Simply putting him on the floor and saying feet on the floor, won't give him that attention.
At this age, redirecting is usually the easiest. Have a toy he likes handy and sit him down with it. Or move into a different room.
If he is a highly active child, I have had several of those. What I found helpful was having some things they could climb. I had a small climbing frame in the playroom and a mini trampoline. Obviously this is space dependent. But if they do have that energy, it has to go somewhere and it's best if it can be redirected positively.
And something important with all children of any age is to pick your battles. Is this something that really matters or is it something that's irritating? Trying to jump headfirst off the table is dangerous, but repeatedly throwing his bottle off the highchair is annoying but not dangerous. |
As a mom of active toddlers, love this post
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amother
Lightpink
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 9:17 pm
If you find yourself having to stop him constantly then maybe you can change the environment. Fewer things that are dangerous to climb on, more ways he can explore and be active (even indoors in a small space)
It might sound extreme, but we asked an expert once about this type of thing. we were told, "if your kids keep climbing up the bookshelves, make sure your bookshelves are very secure and just let them do it."
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a2z
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Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:26 pm
| amother Lightpink wrote: | If you find yourself having to stop him constantly then maybe you can change the environment. Fewer things that are dangerous to climb on, more ways he can explore and be active (even indoors in a small space)
It might sound extreme, but we asked an expert once about this type of thing. we were told, "if your kids keep climbing up the bookshelves, make sure your bookshelves are very secure and just let them do it." |
Oooooh cool idea!
Will put into my brain files for when my boys will be born iyh
Iykyk.
Thanks ❤️
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amother
Navy
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 12:17 am
| amother Alyssum wrote: | | Obviously this isn't working, so maybe you need to reread your OP and figure out a solution. | how is this helpful?
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imaima
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 1:32 am
| amother OP wrote: | I know this is so normal I just dont know how to handle it. My almost 2 year old doesn’t listen to “no” he will say “no” as he is doing things he shouldnt. Some of it are dangerous like climbing off stuff. I will remove him say firmly no climbing he will even repeat it but then go right back to it. If I say no from across the room he does whatever behavior even quicker. Looking for all ideas other than physical not gonna debate but I will not hit my child. Save that debate for another thread.
Thank you all you experienced mommys |
When you say no and remove them, immediately distract them with some other activity. You don’t get to just say no and go back to what you were doing. Not when they are 2.
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amother
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 6:52 am
| amother Lightpink wrote: | If you find yourself having to stop him constantly then maybe you can change the environment. Fewer things that are dangerous to climb on, more ways he can explore and be active (even indoors in a small space)
It might sound extreme, but we asked an expert once about this type of thing. we were told, "if your kids keep climbing up the bookshelves, make sure your bookshelves are very secure and just let them do it." |
Interesting idea definitely gonna look around and see what I can change. Im not sure about the bookcase example I dont want him growing up thinking its ok to climb bookcases for example then he may do it other peoples house where its unsafe etc
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Movernshaker
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:19 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Anything besides just removing him I've done this a few hundred times |
He's looking to connect with you on an emotional level.
Give him attention for positive actions. Look for something regardless of how meaningless it is and say something positive, physically and verbally.
Don't respond to the words he says but rather to the emotion he expressed; like if he comes to you with a boo-boo that's not really a boo-boo, express empathy for it. Don't wait for when he purposely does something to get your attention. He uses it because he understands he won't get it otherwise.
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imaima
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:21 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Interesting idea definitely gonna look around and see what I can change. Im not sure about the bookcase example I dont want him growing up thinking its ok to climb bookcases for example then he may do it other peoples house where its unsafe etc |
You have 2 goals: chinuch and safety.
Secure the bookcase in case he climbs while you are in the bathroom or pulling out a cake out of the oven. But when you are available to say no and redirect, then do it.
There is no contradiction
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amother
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:37 am
| imaima wrote: | You have 2 goals: chinuch and safety.
Secure the bookcase in case he climbs while you are in the bathroom or pulling out a cake out of the oven. But when you are available to say no and redirect, then do it.
There is no contradiction |
Yes all my furniture is bolted to the wall I think the other poster was saying minimize saying no and just let them climb the bookshelf as long as its safe not sure I agree with that concept
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amother
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:38 am
| Movernshaker wrote: | He's looking to connect with you on an emotional level.
Give him attention for positive actions. Look for something regardless of how meaningless it is and say something positive, physically and verbally.
Don't respond to the words he says but rather to the emotion he expressed; like if he comes to you with a boo-boo that's not really a boo-boo, express empathy for it. Don't wait for when he purposely does something to get your attention. He uses it because he understands he won't get it otherwise. |
Bh he gets plenty of positive attention hes adorable delicious and as of now only child so tons of attention. I do think he’s exploring more and more and no became a game
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imaima
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Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:40 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Yes all my furniture is bolted to the wall I think the other poster was saying minimize saying no and just let them climb the bookshelf as long as its safe not sure I agree with that concept |
You should definitely reduce the Nos by buying designated stuff for physical activity if possible. No will never work if your house is a minefield.
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