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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah
Support. Giving very little to Rebbeim



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amother
OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 4:38 pm
I just want support. Or other parents who are in my situation.
I am giving $20 for Rebbeim, $18 each for my daughter's Hebrew and English teachers and $10 for my boys English teacher. $5 for therapists and kriah Morah.
All together I'm paying over $300. I don't know exactly how I'm going to afford it, but I feel like I need to.

Anyone else in my situation. Giving as much as you can and feeling like it's just not enough.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 7:35 pm
Anyone else like me.
I'm feeling so alone. I was with acquaintances and they're all "im giving each Rebbi $100, im giving each Morah $75, they deserve it".
It's undeniable that they deserve it. But I can't be the only one who just can't afford it because I need to pay food, rent, etc.
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amother
Aqua  


 

Post Yesterday at 7:38 pm
yes and I myself am a therapist. I am using my grocery money to give tips and eating really low cost meals this week- eggs, pasta, soup, etc. I know how little therapists and teachers make (sometimes living paycheck to paycheck) so Im killing myself to do this because I feel guilty otherwise. Im so sorry for what we are both going through!
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Yesterday at 7:42 pm
When I taught, I appreciated the $18 donations just as much as the bigger ones, if not more. I know those people really WANTED to show appreciation and that's what mattered. There is something very touching that I can't explain, but your sincerity comes through in your gift.
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amother
  OP


 

Post Yesterday at 7:43 pm
amother Aqua wrote:
yes and I myself am a therapist. I am using my grocery money to give tips and eating really low cost meals this week- eggs, pasta, soup, etc. I know how little therapists and teachers make (sometimes living paycheck to paycheck) so Im killing myself to do this because I feel guilty otherwise. Im so sorry for what we are both going through!


Lol eggs are not a low-cost meal.
Just fyi.
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amother
  Aqua


 

Post Yesterday at 7:45 pm
amother OP wrote:
Lol eggs are not a low-cost meal.
Just fyi.


ha true. I took a carton of eggs from my sister so its low cost to me since I only have to make pita to go with the shakshuka
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amother
DarkRed


 

Post Yesterday at 8:20 pm
I live in Baltimore. The school I send to suggest $20 per child, total for rebbeim AND secular studies. It's a perfectly reasonable amount you're giving. Most important is the note!!!
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amother
Foxglove


 

Post Yesterday at 8:35 pm
Don't feel bad. Give what you can. I'm giving a smaller amount too and my kids have wealthy classmates and I'm sure most people will give more. I was talking to a rebbe and he said he absolutely doesn't think worse of kids that give less or treat that gives more better. I hope my kids rebbeim do the same.
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amother
DarkOrange


 

Post Yesterday at 8:50 pm
Had this conversation with some neighbors over shabbos. You are definitely not the only one! I'm giving $10 and it's a stretch for me. I am making sure to write a nice note.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Yesterday at 11:44 pm
amother DarkRed wrote:
I live in Baltimore. The school I send to suggest $20 per child, total for rebbeim AND secular studies. It's a perfectly reasonable amount you're giving. Most important is the note!!!


wow I dont know which school in baltimore you send your kids to! because in my kids school the $20 gift is just for general studies teachers and assistants! if you want to give rebbi a gift you need to do that separately! I give $18-25 gifts to rebbeim at most because I cant afford more. I hope im not the only one who gives that.
Maybe check again that the school gift communication really does include rebbeim and not just general studies teachers?
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amother
Denim


 

Post Yesterday at 11:46 pm
Im a morah and I don't even give money. A very nice personal note and something like a chocolate bar.
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