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When you meet a friend at a wedding do you tell them
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Do you usually say "you look so beautiful" when you meet someone at a wedding?
Yes, I'm yeshivish/litvish  
 25%  [ 68 ]
No, I'm yeshivish /litvish  
 4%  [ 11 ]
Yes, I'm chassidish/Heimish  
 38%  [ 102 ]
No,I'm chassidish /heimish  
 3%  [ 8 ]
Yes, I'm JPF  
 15%  [ 40 ]
No, I'm JPF  
 4%  [ 11 ]
Yes, I'm MO  
 4%  [ 11 ]
No, I'm MO  
 1%  [ 5 ]
Other  
 3%  [ 8 ]
Total Votes : 264



amother
OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:23 am
"You look so beautiful? (Or similar)" Assuming they do. Like the mother of the kallah.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Yesterday at 11:25 am
I’m intrigued by the connection you’re trying to make.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Yesterday at 11:25 am
I voted no, then I read your OP. I do tell immediate family of the chassan/ kallah how beautiful they look. I wouldn't tell a random guest which is what I thought you were asking
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amother
Scarlet  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:27 am
How do I vote if I convey this message in other words?
I voted other
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:27 am
amother Copper wrote:
I’m intrigued by the connection you’re trying to make.

Lol. This is based on a conversation I had IRL.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:29 am
amother Scarlet wrote:
How do I vote if I convey this message in other words?
I voted other

What do you say?
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amother
Catmint


 

Post Yesterday at 11:33 am
Yes, and if I'm greeting the mom of the kallah or a close relative if I know the mom I always give a compliment on how beautiful her children look as well.

Always makes people happy 😊
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amother
  Scarlet  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:35 am
amother OP wrote:
What do you say?

Is it the wording that bothers you?
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:42 am
amother Scarlet wrote:
Is it the wording that bothers you?

It actually doesn't bother me and I voted yes. Based on a conversation irl, I'm trying to see if people typically compliment others on their looks or dress and if it's community dependent.
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amother
  Scarlet  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:45 am
amother OP wrote:
It actually doesn't bother me and I voted yes. Based on a conversation irl, I'm trying to see if people typically compliment others on their looks or dress and if it's community dependent.

I'd assume that complimenting someone who looks stunning, gown, face and wig etc., it not community dependent but basic social norms.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:50 am
amother Scarlet wrote:
I'd assume that complimenting someone who looks stunning, gown, face and wig etc., it not community dependent but basic social norms.

I thought so too. Until someone told me it's community dependent and that she didn't get one such compliment at her child's wedding. She'd even be insulted if she'd get such a compliment! That was very interesting to me. Hence the poll.
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amother
Magnolia


 

Post Yesterday at 11:51 am
I’m mo and was mother of the bride
Had makeup and hair done and wore a gown
Got no compliments
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amother
Anemone


 

Post Yesterday at 11:53 am
What’s jpf?
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amother
Dill  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:53 am
What in the world is the point of this?
Of course if someone looks beautiful you tell them doesn't matter if your in the street grocery or wedding!
Shiva or funeral not a great place.....
Chasidush for reference but shouldn't all women compliment other women?????
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:56 am
amother Magnolia wrote:
I’m mo and was mother of the bride
Had makeup and hair done and wore a gown
Got no compliments

Is that the norm for you? Did it bother you?
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:56 am
amother Dill wrote:
What in the world is the point of this?
Of course if someone looks beautiful you tell them doesn't matter if your in the street grocery or wedding!
Shiva or funeral not a great place.....
Chasidush for reference but shouldn't all women compliment other women?????

Read the thread. I thought the same as you until I had this conversion with a friend (not chasidish). Apparently not everyone agrees.
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amother
  Scarlet  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:58 am
amother OP wrote:
I thought so too. Until someone told me it's community dependent and that she didn't get one such compliment at her child's wedding. She'd even be insulted if she'd get such a compliment! That was very interesting to me. Hence the poll.

Hence my question about if I say it differently, not you look so beautiful. I'd say something along the lines of you look stunning, love your dress, what a beautiful simcha.....
But insulted when receiving basic human acknowledgement??? I've never heard of that in the many weddings of the different circles I've attended.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 11:58 am
amother Anemone wrote:
What’s jpf?

Just plain frum. No specific category.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 12:02 pm
amother Scarlet wrote:
Hence my question about if I say it differently, not you look so beautiful. I'd say something along the lines of you look stunning, love your dress, what a beautiful simcha.....
But insulted when receiving basic human acknowledgement??? I've never heard of that in the many weddings of the different circles I've attended.

No it's all the same in different words. This friend said that if someone would compliment her looks she'd be a bit insulted and think "please respect me more than that"... Point being that looks is not a conversation piece at all in her circles.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 12:07 pm
amother OP wrote:
This friend said that if someone would compliment her looks she'd be a bit insulted and think "please respect me more than that"...


This might be a her thing.
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