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Forum
-> The Social Scene
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Do you usually say "you look so beautiful" when you meet someone at a wedding?
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| Yes, I'm yeshivish/litvish |
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25% |
[ 68 ] |
| No, I'm yeshivish /litvish |
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4% |
[ 11 ] |
| Yes, I'm chassidish/Heimish |
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38% |
[ 102 ] |
| No,I'm chassidish /heimish |
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3% |
[ 8 ] |
| Yes, I'm JPF |
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15% |
[ 41 ] |
| No, I'm JPF |
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4% |
[ 11 ] |
| Yes, I'm MO |
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4% |
[ 11 ] |
| No, I'm MO |
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1% |
[ 5 ] |
| Other |
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3% |
[ 8 ] |
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| Total Votes : 265 |
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amother
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 Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:23 am
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"You look so beautiful? (Or similar)" Assuming they do. Like the mother of the kallah.
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amother
Copper
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:25 am
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I’m intrigued by the connection you’re trying to make.
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39
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amother
Puce
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:25 am
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I voted no, then I read your OP. I do tell immediate family of the chassan/ kallah how beautiful they look. I wouldn't tell a random guest which is what I thought you were asking
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21
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:27 am
How do I vote if I convey this message in other words?
I voted other
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1
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:27 am
| amother Copper wrote: | | I’m intrigued by the connection you’re trying to make. |
Lol. This is based on a conversation I had IRL.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:29 am
| amother Scarlet wrote: | How do I vote if I convey this message in other words?
I voted other |
What do you say?
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amother
Catmint
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:33 am
Yes, and if I'm greeting the mom of the kallah or a close relative if I know the mom I always give a compliment on how beautiful her children look as well.
Always makes people happy 😊
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8
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:35 am
Is it the wording that bothers you?
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:42 am
It actually doesn't bother me and I voted yes. Based on a conversation irl, I'm trying to see if people typically compliment others on their looks or dress and if it's community dependent.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:45 am
| amother OP wrote: | | It actually doesn't bother me and I voted yes. Based on a conversation irl, I'm trying to see if people typically compliment others on their looks or dress and if it's community dependent. |
I'd assume that complimenting someone who looks stunning, gown, face and wig etc., it not community dependent but basic social norms.
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10
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:50 am
| amother Scarlet wrote: | | I'd assume that complimenting someone who looks stunning, gown, face and wig etc., it not community dependent but basic social norms. |
I thought so too. Until someone told me it's community dependent and that she didn't get one such compliment at her child's wedding. She'd even be insulted if she'd get such a compliment! That was very interesting to me. Hence the poll.
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amother
Magnolia
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:51 am
I’m mo and was mother of the bride
Had makeup and hair done and wore a gown
Got no compliments
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amother
Anemone
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:53 am
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:53 am
What in the world is the point of this?
Of course if someone looks beautiful you tell them doesn't matter if your in the street grocery or wedding!
Shiva or funeral not a great place.....
Chasidush for reference but shouldn't all women compliment other women?????
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12
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:56 am
| amother Magnolia wrote: | I’m mo and was mother of the bride
Had makeup and hair done and wore a gown
Got no compliments |
Is that the norm for you? Did it bother you?
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:56 am
| amother Dill wrote: | What in the world is the point of this?
Of course if someone looks beautiful you tell them doesn't matter if your in the street grocery or wedding!
Shiva or funeral not a great place.....
Chasidush for reference but shouldn't all women compliment other women????? |
Read the thread. I thought the same as you until I had this conversion with a friend (not chasidish). Apparently not everyone agrees.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:58 am
| amother OP wrote: | | I thought so too. Until someone told me it's community dependent and that she didn't get one such compliment at her child's wedding. She'd even be insulted if she'd get such a compliment! That was very interesting to me. Hence the poll. |
Hence my question about if I say it differently, not you look so beautiful. I'd say something along the lines of you look stunning, love your dress, what a beautiful simcha.....
But insulted when receiving basic human acknowledgement??? I've never heard of that in the many weddings of the different circles I've attended.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:58 am
Just plain frum. No specific category.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 12:02 pm
| amother Scarlet wrote: | Hence my question about if I say it differently, not you look so beautiful. I'd say something along the lines of you look stunning, love your dress, what a beautiful simcha.....
But insulted when receiving basic human acknowledgement??? I've never heard of that in the many weddings of the different circles I've attended. |
No it's all the same in different words. This friend said that if someone would compliment her looks she'd be a bit insulted and think "please respect me more than that"... Point being that looks is not a conversation piece at all in her circles.
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sequoia
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Mon, Oct 14 2024, 12:07 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | This friend said that if someone would compliment her looks she'd be a bit insulted and think "please respect me more than that"... |
This might be a her thing.
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