I want a new sukka

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 5:20 pm

I'm so annoyed with our sukka. We don't have a lot of space so our sukka is not as big as I'd love but that's life. The problem is that the sukka is made from wood boards and is so claustrophobic. DH made this sukka from scratch and is really proud of it but it's really not nice looking or feeling. During rain or wind the walls sway a bit and it feels scary. We don't even have a normal place to store it so it's all weatherbeaten at this point. It takes hours and hours to put up and it feels ridiculous to spend so much time on this when there are so many other options that are light, airy and easy to put together and store.
Every year I ask DH about getting a new sukka but he says it's not necessary or he makes some kind of mumbled remark of maybe next year.
The problem is DH only gets something new if it no longer works or if something is needed.
I can't believe we're another sukkos and still in this sukka.

amother

DarkGreen ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 5:41 pm

we also have a wooden sukkah that my husband made that should objectively be replaced but wooden sukkahs aren't cheap and I'm not sure what the hesitation with other ones are, maybe not as good, just seems like my husband wants wood and so we keep this one until he gets another one.

amother

Carnation

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 6:06 pm

I don't concern myself with the sukkah. It's not my mitzvah. Dh makes it super ugly with wood tarp and zip ties and the kids hang decorations all over the place. I tell them it's beautiful even though it actually looks hideous. Definitely not something I feel it's worth it to get upset over.

Raizle

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 6:07 pm

I understand both of you. I understand you for wanting a new succah and I understand your husband for being connected to something he laboured over and is proud of.
Do you think that you can let go on this one thing? Its once a year. Do you have more of a say over the decor inside your home?

amother

Kiwi

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 6:11 pm

I hear you... We had the same homemade one for almost 10 years. It functioned fine but was a real pain to put up, especially because a lot of parts were a 2 man job, which meant I had to help. A lot of the wood was warped and it was getting harder and harder to put together. BH we had to decide this year whether to replace most of the wood or buy something different and we finally bought a kit that's way easier to assemble.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 6:24 pm

If it would be replaced with another wood sukka than no thank you. I'm thinking of a light, airy, easy to put up and easy to store sukka.
We are Lubavitch so we all eat in the sukka as well as all of our guests, it very much affects me albeit only for 8 days a year.

Sewsew_mom

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 6:24 pm

Same exact. I've given the sukkah territory over to my husband. He loves a plain wood old sukkah. I always try and make plans. Than I remember.. My house I decorate. Let him have his dream sukkah of 9 years old and water damaged. He worked hard to build it and it brings him joy.
Mine is big enough though.. Maybe you can add some panels. And maybe he can make it more sturdy. Mine does not shake in the wind.
Some things I've learnt to get go of...

amother

↑ DarkGreen ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 6:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

I asked my husband. it seems the tarp ones might not be so pashut halachically since you need to make sure it doesn't sway too much in the wind. The heavy duty plastic is very expensive.

amother

↑ DarkGreen ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 7:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sorry if I wasn't clear, it's as big as we have room for, that part isn't his fault.

have you priced out how much a new one would cost? it seems like they are all pricy...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 7:10 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

have you priced out how much a new one would cost? it seems like they are all pricy...

He probably wouldn't want to buy a different sukka but make another one. Either way nothing is going to happen so long as he doesn't get rid of this one. he just shrugs me off when I bring it up and when it gets closer he says, it's close to sukkos I can't think about it, let's just use what we have.

amother

NeonGreen

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 9:20 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

I asked my husband. it seems the tarp ones might not be so pashut halachically since you need to make sure it doesn't sway too much in the wind. The heavy duty plastic is very expensive.

Please don't slander all those that use canvas sukkahs. They have lavud straps that don't sway in the wind and are 100% kosher.

chestnut

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 9:46 pm

I can totally understand him being proud of his handmade sukkah and wanting to use it. Can you hang cheap curtains or fabric to make the walls pretty? There are so many creative ideas to decorate it.

amother

Holly ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 10:08 pm

Wow!!! It thought I was the only one . Husband got old moldy sukka from a well meaning family years ago and I always dread sukkos. I let kids decorate and I only eat there when necessary. Our apartment is too small For guest so technically this could be an opportunity for me to invite if we had a normal sukka. A neighbor invited us and I cried for an hour I was so triggered that we could not finally be the ones inviting people Crying

amother

↑ DarkGreen

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 10:19 pm

amother NeonGreen wrote:

Please don't slander all those that use canvas sukkahs. They have lavud straps that don't sway in the wind and are 100% kosher.

It could be he didn't know about those and I never said it was assur or even bedieved just not so simple. I'm sorry if you took it as if I was saying people with that tpe of sukkah were doing something wrong, that wasn't my intention. I actually try hard not to do that so feel bad if you took it like that. Im happy to hear of a solution that works well. BH!

Even a tarp sukkah is expensive. 8x12 is over a thousand dollars where he looked