But my kids don't like that kind of vacation! -update page

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:25 pm

DH grew up in a country where family vacations were priority but all their vacations were scenic nature hike style things.
My kids hate hiking and find this stuff boring. The last bunch of years we've taken them on vacations (3 days tops) where we did trips. This year DH said this is ridiculous, it's about family time and booked an Airbnb in a scenic place near lots of hikes and waterfalls. My kids are really not interested. He keeps trying to get them all into it but they are used to more exciting trips TBH. Maybe they are spoiled but it's 3 days a year and this is what they are used to.
What do you think I should do? Support DH and try to convince the kids or just go with the flow or speak to DH privately to convince him to make more exciting plans (if I can)? I do agree with DH in theory but I think our kids will just kvetch the whole time. In general he is a bit out of tune with their needs and tries to convince them his random ideas are what they want. When they were very young they "fell for it", now my kids get annoyed by this stuff.
What do you think I should do?

amother

Bluebonnet

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:57 pm

I'm similar, but the other way round. I love the scenic hiking vacations, hubby grew up with (expensive!) activity vacations. We can't afford expensive vacations, so we do the scenic ones and try to add a few activities to make it more exciting. The kids kvetch and moan about the hikes while we are doing them, but they look back and talk positively about them (well, most of them!) This year we have not done any proper hikes due to the weather, and the kids are asking to a proper hike - despite them kvetching and moaning when we actually do them.

I find as long as the parents have positive attitudes, it rubs off on the kids and they look back at the happy memories.

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:58 pm

I really don't think you should try to convince the kids. Nothing positive comes from being disingenuous with your kids. Especially when they're old enough to see through it.

It might be wise to help them build resilience and make the best of it. Yeah, I know it's not your favorite trip, but we're going to enjoy the beauty of nature this time. You can encourage them to make the best of things without discounting how they feel.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:11 pm

I can do scenic hike style for a day, then it also feels boring, strenuous and repetitive to me. Whenever we go with our in laws I dont really love it. I enjoy the company but I'm not into nature things. The kids aren't excited about the company, it's their siblings, it's the trip that's the exciting part.

We once tried to do a hike on one vacation, our kids lasted an hour max.

It just feels weird to me to have them "make the best of it" when this is their once a year vacation. I want it to be something they are excited about and want to do, especially since they were just in camp, in the mountains.

amother

Periwinkle ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can you split up the activities? A bit of hiking, and scenic tours followed by some watersports and other thrills in the area?

Or perhaps compromise on a mix of nature/outdoor stuff that has some more excitement to it? I.e. outdoor obstacle courses, ziplining, boating, etc.

amother

↑ Periwinkle ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

I agree that making the best of it isn't ideal here. Can dh explain why your standard vacation bothers him so much? Or is it simply that he wants to teach them the beauty of nature and have a different experience?

If it's the latter, it will backfire on him if the kids will refuse to cooperate. It probably will become a sticking point between him and the kids and they'll resist at all cost to make their point. It would make more sense to ease them into it, rather than upset their long awaited vacation. Go to a place that works for the kids and has nature/hiking trails nearby. Take one afternoon off and go hiking with them. Make it really fun for them though, with a picnic, beautiful views etc and let them slowly internalize it. You may be surprised how they may come around to enjoy it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:23 pm

I was wondering what is in the area.
My kids dont really like outdoorsy stuff, no biking or watersports. We usually go to places with museums, amusement parks, etc.
Such city kids lol.

I think DH is right, his style vacation is more wholesome and I wish they would appreciate it, Im just hearing the kvetching already.

amother

DarkCyan

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is also your dh’s once a year. You’re already doing something special for the kids taking them on a trip, renting an Airbnb. Take them on a scenic hike and make it as much fun as you can. See if you find something they’ll enjoy nearby or on the way home. My kids like different things and we try to get in something that will make everyone have a good time. You’d be surprised at the unexpected fun you can have together in the most unlikely places. The kids were just in camp and now you’re taking them on a trip. It’s okay for them to get excited just over that and for dh to get a say in the family vacation too. If you don’t have a great time you can plan differently next year but if you’re open to having fun I bet you will.

↑ DVOM ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

I suspected that this was the case.

Well, if you think of it as strenuous and boring and a waste of rare vacation time, they definitely won't enjoy it.

All I can say is that my family of origin was more of an amusement park/water skiing type of vacationers, and I've come to truly and deeply love vacationing in nature. I could see that this was something my husband deeply loved and valued, and I chose to learn to love it too. And now I do, very sincerely. I actually crave camping. Sounds weird, but the quiet, the freedom, the beauty! We get our tents set up, the kids run off into the woods, we get our fire going.... It's just so simple and peaceful and good.

If you can find the good in it, your kids will too. And there's benefits to finding quieter, simpler happiness, no? Being able to appreciate pushing yourself a bit physically and mentally, challenging yourself. I think of it like the difference between a movie and a good book, or a bag of sour sticks vs. an apple. Yes, it's easier to sit back and be passively entertained, but it's not nearly as satisfying.

amother

↑ Periwinkle ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Even city kids enjoy boating and outdoor activities. I'm assuming dh isn't planning on taking your kids hiking every day. What else has he planned for scenic experiences?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:37 pm

I knew when you asked the question that it would turn into that I need to get over myself and enjoy it and then the kids will enjoy it.

This is not about me. It's about the fact that we've always taken a certain style vacation that the kids enjoy and now DH is presenting a different style vacation. I'm wondering if I should push behind the scenes for some things the kids are more likely to enjoy (yes one of them already complained that she has no interest) or to just let it play out however it does.

amother

Clematis

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:48 pm

Since you’ve done the same thing for 3 years, I’d give this a try. If you all go in with a good attitude and try to make it fun, it can be really great. It’s hard to find a trip that everybody in a family will agree on. It’s best to show your kids how to be flexible and to be able to make something they think will be boring into something fun! They might actually end up enjoying it.

amother

Hosta

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can you do some hikes some other activities they enjoy? We always do a mix of both. I would do the exciting activity for the kids the last day so they have something to look forward to

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 10:46 pm

We've been taking the kids on vacations for the past 14 years. The nature part is always the part they don't enjoy. They want to quote do something.
Honestly I thought we'd skip this year because there's so little time before school but DH felt it was really important so he planned it. One day at some park, picnic and play ball, 2 hiking trips and swimming on the property. It does sound like it would make sense to come up with a bit more variety.
I hate amusement parks, I'll be more than happy to skip, I just want the kids to be happy, this vacation is for them.
Side point, no idea how a 2 and 4 yr old will be hiking.

amother

SandyBrown ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 10:56 pm

Being in nature is great for some people, less so for others. I am not a hiker. At all. My husband is. Our vacations are usually a little something for everyone. Also, I schedule one activity per day and the second part of the day is something fun. So, morning hike and afternoon water tubing. Or morning atvs and afternoon, waterfalls plus picnic. We try to make it fun and engaging. Like spotting berries and figuring out which ones are likely to kill us. Or finding cool rocks to skip with on the lake. Also, s'mores and a evening campfire with ghost stories can be so fun. Vacation, to us, is about being together and trying new things. Some nostalgic, some fun. For example, we went to Paris. Rather than draft everyone from museum to museum, we did the eiffel tour and seine cruise one evening. Next day, we left paris and went to an amusement park. Next day, Monets house and Versailles. A little something for the kids and adults. We had a great trip because we all compromised and agreed to try each other's activity of choice. You're job is to help your husband connect his love for the outdoors with your kids so he can feel like the trip is meaningful too. So find a second activity of the day to get the kids through the first and have a good, positive attitude. Challenge each kid to come up with the worst dad jokes while hiking. Or the best stories and legends about different woods throughout the world. It can be more than just mushing through rough terrain and bonding like this can be beautiful.

effess

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 11:01 pm

I would suggest a reframe.
It’s not vacation for them. They just had a looong summer vacation.
The purpose is to spend time together.
It’s to build memories as a family. It’s to bond, try new things.
I’d suggest to ‘do something’ as your kids say, but the rest of the time create a plan in nature that has variety.
Set yourself up for success.
Waterfalls, creeks, rivers are a great place to get wet, splash in the water, relax together.
Hikes don’t need to be long.
4 year olds can easily hike. 2 yr olds should be in a backpack/ whatever you call that baby Carrier for toddlers. for part of the time. Some hikes are challenging and therefore more fun. Think gorges, rock formations, caves.
Perhaps plan by half day and do the harder stuff in the morning. Bring games. Create challenges. Get everyone the pedometer so it’s more exciting to reach a goal of a certain number of steps.
I can go on and on.
Kids are so excited to feel successful and they’ve overcome a challenge. This will build more character. Your husband can teach them survival techniques, building shelters…..teach them how to use a compass…..