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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:14 am
Is that dysfunctional? We’re in a 2 bedroom apartment, my older child is in the other bedroom. The plan is to move baby there eventually, but as of now they both occasionally wake up at night so I don’t think it’s a good idea, they’ll wake each other up. We’re at the stage now that I think it’ll be better for both of us if I don’t wake up from every whimper and only from the real cries. I never would’ve thought to put the baby in the kitchen but we had a situation with a babysitter and coming into our room so I put him there for one night and it was amazing! Is it crazy if I continue?
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amother
Cantaloupe
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:20 am
I'd put baby with the older child. They get used to it & don't wake each other's up.
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amother
Garnet
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:23 am
Dysfunctional? Yes. But a little dysfunction is normal for a small space and little kids. They won’t remember, you are still good parents and nothing will change except you’ll start getting better sleep. Don’t worry, you’re good
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amother
Aconite
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:40 am
I did in the hallway for a bit and then transferred to bedroom.
Next baby I think I will go straight to bedroom because there was the adjustment of the new room where they anyway woke up through the night
But no not crazy
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amother
White
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:43 am
I had friends who kept their baby in the kitchen. We were all young families in 1 bedroom apartments with a few kids each. You do what you can to be creative!
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:46 am
I want to move him to the second bedroom soon, but DC older just this week started coming out every single night for a minute or 2, never did this before so I’m hoping it will be very short lived, we don’t do anything except put DC back and it works, I just cannot deal with baby waking up at that juncture every night right now, would be a much longer process to get both back to sleep.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 12:51 am
It’s okay. It’s temporary. It’s not like you’re living in a studio apartment. You have space in a bedroom for your baby’s crib. You’re just choosing to spread out like this.
My friend told me that she and her husband slept in the living room on mattresses because their baby only slept well when in a bedroom by himself with a closed door. That’s probably more dysfunctional. But really it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. This is what works best for you and your children and safe and happy.
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Brit in Israel
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 2:27 am
You do what is needed for you to have the best sleep.
It's not dangerous, it's ok.
When we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment. I would put my 1 yr old to sleep in the bedroom and then roll her out to the living room when we went to sleep. Did it until she was almost 2 and we moved.
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amother
Razzmatazz
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 3:02 am
We used to live in a 2BR. Toddler slept in one, we slept in the other. My baby slept in the living room for about the first 10 months. Our kitchen was tiny but we had space there. It was safe. No hazards. It was warmer in the winter in there and I could nurse on the couch if needed.
That baby never slept well with another kid in the same room. Even now 7 years later. We tried. This was best for everyone.
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shabbatiscoming
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 3:14 am
amother Garnet wrote: | Dysfunctional? Yes. But a little dysfunction is normal for a small space and little kids. They won’t remember, you are still good parents and nothing will change except you’ll start getting better sleep. Don’t worry, you’re good |
Why is it dysfunctional? I dont see how it is.
This is where there is room for this baby to sleep. Why does there have to be something wrong? It might not be ideal, but dysfunctional?
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Odelyah
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 3:17 am
OP, this is such a first world problem BH! in many parts of the world families still share very small spaces out of necessity. and not so long ago, many of our grandparents did too. and the kitchen (in the winter) was a prime spot! Actually sounds very functional to me--you are making your space function in an optimal way for your family right now, which, especially since it's temporary, just means you're being smart and prioritizing your functionality over conforming to fairly new cultural norms about bedrooms which used to be a luxury of only the most wealthy families.
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LovesHashem
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 3:27 am
It's dysfunctional according to the standards most people live in in first world countries today.
Dysfunctional is subjective, I think many nonjews would consider our big families and putting so many siblings in one room dysfunctional.
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OddoneOut1
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 3:49 am
I do it for my kids too! In the hallway from 5-8 months( fall asleep in my room and then move the crib when we go to sleep) and then They join their siblings in the 2nd bedroom when they are decent sleeper. It’s huge for my mental health to get my space back when they Dont need to be right near me (I go to the hallway to nurse as needed) and only put them with the kids when they can sleep as well. BH 3 kids 4 and under in a room now that all sleep beautifully and independently.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 3:53 am
amother OP wrote: | Is that dysfunctional? We’re in a 2 bedroom apartment, my older child is in the other bedroom. The plan is to move baby there eventually, but as of now they both occasionally wake up at night so I don’t think it’s a good idea, they’ll wake each other up. We’re at the stage now that I think it’ll be better for both of us if I don’t wake up from every whimper and only from the real cries. I never would’ve thought to put the baby in the kitchen but we had a situation with a babysitter and coming into our room so I put him there for one night and it was amazing! Is it crazy if I continue? |
It’s fine.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 3:55 am
amother OP wrote: | I want to move him to the second bedroom soon, but DC older just this week started coming out every single night for a minute or 2, never did this before so I’m hoping it will be very short lived, we don’t do anything except put DC back and it works, I just cannot deal with baby waking up at that juncture every night right now, would be a much longer process to get both back to sleep. |
You can also sleep in the living room or put the baby there. There are many ways to be flexible
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 4:06 am
LovesHashem wrote: | It's dysfunctional according to the standards most people live in in first world countries today.
Dysfunctional is subjective, I think many nonjews would consider our big families and putting so many siblings in one room dysfunctional. |
In my first world country it’s not considered dysfunctional for kids to share a bed. Social services won’t come after you.
Posters here have no idea. What OP describes are normal solutions.
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amother
Buttercup
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:30 am
I have a relative who lives in a two bedroom apartment with 3 kids. The two older kids are currently sharing a room and their youngest is sleeping in a pack 'n play in a bathroom because that's where they have room for it. Everyone sleeps better that way. It's not a long term solution but it works for them for now.
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amother
Birch
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:32 am
Do you have an air conditioner in your kitchen?
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shabbatiscoming
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:39 am
amother Birch wrote: | Do you have an air conditioner in your kitchen? |
Not all bedrooms have ac either.
A standing fan works wonders as well.
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amother
Zinnia
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:51 am
amother OP wrote: | Is that dysfunctional? We’re in a 2 bedroom apartment, my older child is in the other bedroom. The plan is to move baby there eventually, but as of now they both occasionally wake up at night so I don’t think it’s a good idea, they’ll wake each other up. We’re at the stage now that I think it’ll be better for both of us if I don’t wake up from every whimper and only from the real cries. I never would’ve thought to put the baby in the kitchen but we had a situation with a babysitter and coming into our room so I put him there for one night and it was amazing! Is it crazy if I continue? |
How can something that is helping your family function well be dysfunctional? I think it's fine.
It may be unusual by today's standards but my grandparents all told stories of growing up in Europe in two room apartments with 10 kids and they were all happy and functioning well.
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