Help! How do we wean off the paci?

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 9:07 pm

So my daughter is nearly 3, very bright, verbal, mature. She still uses a paci to fall asleep though Sad

. We’ve been talking about giving it up for months and she is super excited to be a big girl and go to the ice cream store when she does. The problem is though, she can’t seem to fall asleep without it. We keep trying (she initiates this at bedtime!) but she’s having a really hard time. I’m sitting next to her now and it’s so cute how hard she’s trying but she’s been in bed for over an hour and she’s still awake.
How do I help her with this?

amother

Cobalt ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 9:17 pm

You can’t really “wean” at that age, you need ti go cold turkey. Make a big ceremony of tying it to a helium balloon, let it fly away to a little baby bird who needs a paci. Make sure SHE is the one who lets go of the balloon. She will let go when she is ready it may take a few minutes. After that, no more paci at all. It’s simply not in the house. Buy a collection of items she likes- stickers, magnets, erasers, toy jewelry. Every morning, after a night without her paci, she gets to choose one item. It’ll take a few days and she’ll adjust.

You literally cannot have it in the house or it will still be an option. She needs to see it is gone. That’s why a ceremony is good.

amother

Forestgreen ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 9:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

So my daughter is nearly 3, very bright, verbal, mature. She still uses a paci to fall asleep though Sad

I personally don't think you have to rush it. She's still a baby.

amother

↑ Cobalt

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 9:23 pm

amother Forestgreen wrote:

I personally don't think you have to rush it. She's still a baby.

Nearly 3 is not a baby. And it’s also going to have a large and negative effect on her teeth if she doesn’t stop soon.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 9:27 pm

Thanks so much for all the advice! I like the idea of having a “ceremony” and getting it out of the house. The problem is that she has a baby sister who uses the same pacis so I can’t really get rid of all them (no, they don’t actually suck on the same ones but they both use the same kind).

yiddishmom

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 10:34 pm

I have an anxious child.

I recently started doing "imagination therapy" with him.

I don't think I'm using the right term.

Basically, as he is laying in bed with his eyes closed, I softly tell him about a dreamy beach scene, and hopefully he is visualizing it. He likes it a lot and sometimes asks for more. It really helps him calm down. I make sure to incorporate the 5 senses in my short story (now you are feeling the grainy sand slip between your fingers, etc.)

Maybe this can help her calm down instead of the paci?

Oh, I think it's called meditation. I'm PP and cannot for the life of mine remember.

Good luck!

amother

Peachpuff

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 10:49 pm

Two of my kids I got rid of their pacis when they turned one. They weren't crazy attached to them so it worked.
My other two kids that took pacis, I didn't get rid of them until they were 4. I tried before and it never worked. For me it wasn't worth losing their sleep for it
I think that middle age range is the hardest.

happy chick

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 10:57 pm

What's wrong with letting her have a paci? Till about 12-18 mos, it's clipped on them so they have it handy whenever they want/need. At a certain point it becomes part of bedtime, just like pj's and blanket. When they're ready, they'll give it up.

Im not a big fan of making kids give it up. Then when they suffer from anxiety cuz they were forced to give up a paci before they're ready, we're gonna jump to send them to therapy. Let the kid be a kid. No kid ever gets married with a paci. JMHO

cube

Tue, Jul 30 2024, 2:16 am

my son stopped finally when he turned four. we had been talking about it for 6 months already... the first night he went to bed at 6:00 and did not fall asleep until 10:30 pm, but I decided there was no going back. it took less than a week until he was falling asleep normal times without the paci. yes that week is soo hard but worth it.

amother

↑ Forestgreen

Tue, Jul 30 2024, 2:19 am

happy chick wrote:

100%

helloo26

Tue, Jul 30 2024, 5:15 am

I also tried to wean and it didn't work, my son didn't fall asleep for hours.
At a recent dentist appointment, the dentist spoke to him about the benefits of not having a paci and it took a while but it sunk in and he stopped using it on his own. I think its best it comes from themselves rather than 'forcing'...

amother

Peony ↓

Tue, Jul 30 2024, 5:23 am

My mother remembers having hers in first grade, and being embarrassed about it. None of us were encouraged to use one. My youngest sister kept hers the longest. Eventually, we all dug a hole in the garden, and she threw it in. Then we planted a tree there. She was sure that in a few years it would grow her lots and lots of pacifiers.

On the other hand, I sucked my thumb, and another sister sucked her fingers, and you can't take them away.

amother

Bisque

Tue, Jul 30 2024, 6:27 am

I usually drop the paci when we drop naps so they're extra tired but yes it takes a few days really even up to a full week until they can start sleeping normally again. If she's on board with it, you already did the hard part!

amother

Mocha

Tue, Jul 30 2024, 7:14 am

It's very hard if your baby has the same one and she'll constantly see it around.
I consciously started my baby on a different kind of paci with this in mind.
When my daughter was well over 3 we spoke about giving it up. I explained that it's not good for her teeth. Even though she only had it at night in bed, I felt it was affecting her speech too.
We spoke about it for months to prepare her mentally.
I showed her a video on Instagram of a child letting up their paci with helium balloons and she loved the idea. I told her whenever she feels ready we can do the same.
She was super excited.
I also took her to the store to choose a cuddle toy to sleep with instead (she chose a small soft stuffed puppy).
When she was ready we bought a bunch of helium balloons from the dollar store. I filmed the whole ceremony. It was the cutest. She loved watching it afterwards.
The first few nights she missed it, it took her a long while to fall asleep. It's ok. Occasionally she cried for it I validated her and said I know how much she misses it and she wishes she can have it. I showed her the video. Hugged her. And that was it. She got used to it. She never even asks for it anymore.

You need to be strong and not wishy washy. If she knows there's no going back and it's gone she'll get used to it.

amother

Chambray

Tue, Jul 30 2024, 8:01 am

amother Cobalt wrote:

Nearly 3 is not a baby. And it’s also going to have a large and negative effect on her teeth if she doesn’t stop soon.

I took my first two kids pacis away biggest mistake of my life they both then took there fingers and cause lots of damage that had to be taken care of the kids that I never changed size of paci and didn’t take away paci and they had it till 6 didn’t have damage.