12 year old son hates showering...help

amother

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 8:49 pm

He will only go take one after we remind him numerous times and I have been upstairs a few times and happened to notice that he just runs the water and will just wet his hair but doesn't actually clean himself. He has quite a few fingernails and toenails with fungus and I think it may be due to bad hygiene. He always looks clean and is a good looking kid so it doesn't affect him socially but he usually smells musty when he comes near me to hug or kiss me. Bad smells really bother me and me and my husband have tried convincing him that showering is a basic function but he doesn't like to do it and even when he goes in the shower, its for maybe a few minutes and he barely cleans himself. He also doesn't care to always change his underwear and socks every day and it really bothers me and my husband because we're both very clean people and we don't know why he's like this.

He also is a very active kid and he plays basketball outside in the heat for hours and comes in with his hands black and dirty and I have to ask him to wash his hands or everything he touches gets black and dirty from his hands. He takes it personal when I ask him to wash his hands or ask him to take a shower and thinks that I'm being critical of him. It's so frustrating because I want to help him because soon he will be an adult and I wonder if he'll ever grow out of this stage of hating to shower. I asked him why he doesn't like to shower and he told me that he doesn't like that the water is warm and prefers lukewarm showers. He also told me he doesn't like his bathroom shower and prefers to use my shower so I was letting him use it but that didn't last too long either. I think it may just come down to laziness or just boring for him so he would rather avoid it. Any tips or suggestions and has anyone else dealt with this? I don't know what to do at this point.

mra01385

Yesterday at 6:40 am

It’s typical of boys to not like showers. I have a son who doesn’t like taking showers because he finds it annoying to get undressed. So I have him take a shower once a week for shabbos, and he likes to listen to music while in the shower.
Explain to your son how it is important for his body to take showers and to be clean. Ask your son how you can make the shower more enjoyable for him? Maybe he can take a short shower. Maybe he can listen to music while in the shower. Maybe he likes to use a favorite body wash and shampoo that has a good scent. Maybe offer him an incentive after he takes a shower. Maybe he wants a shower hose where he can play around with the spray options.