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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:31 pm
We are moving to Lakewood from OOT. Where we come from it's perfectly acceptable to walk around in a snood, go shopping in one and etc....
I heard in Lakewood its not like that and people wear it anytime they go anywhere. I hate wearing a sheital and just wear one to work and to appointments sometimes. Otherwise I go everywhere in a snood.
Is it true that in Lakewood it's a "must"? And by "must" I mean will people look differently at our family by shidduchim because of it? Will my kids be made fun of? Or this an exaggeration?
Does this depend at all on the neighborhood we live in?
(Im asking this question sincerely)
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amother
Stone
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:34 pm
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Not sure but, can you move a little further over, maybe Passaic? : ) Lots of ladies running around in scarves, snoods, pre-ties... Hope you find claritythough, hatzlacha with yoir move
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amother
Cyan
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:34 pm
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I’m also from OOT and I do it. Some people probably do think I’m a little off. But I just can’t do it all the time, I just tell myself that I probably don’t want to do a shidduch with those people anyway, I’m different in many ways from them.
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amother
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:35 pm
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Yup. But you probably won’t want the ones who won’t want you. You’re filtering out prospects.
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amother
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:35 pm
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I think you can trust in Hashem and do what works best for you
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amother
Daisy
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:45 pm
Honestly, I felt the same way a few years ago when my kid's entered shidduchim. Like, why would I want someone who wouldn't be ok with me in a Snood when I go shopping?
But, somewhere along the way my feelings changed...it's not because of whether what's right or wrong....I feel in a sheitel I exude a level of confidence that I don't have in a Snood. I'm more apt to put makeup on. I feel less "shlumpy". People see that I have this confidence and when I'm presenting my children in shidduchim I want people to think, "Wow, the mom is confident and self-assured, perhaps her children are the same way."
It's not about WHAT I'm wearing but HOW it makes me feel and present myself
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amother
NeonBlue
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:50 pm
| amother Daisy wrote: | Honestly, I felt the same way a few years ago when my kid's entered shidduchim. Like, why would I want someone who wouldn't be ok with me in a Snood when I go shopping?
But, somewhere along the way my feelings changed...it's not because of whether what's right or wrong....I feel in a sheitel I exude a level of confidence that I don't have in a Snood. I'm more apt to put makeup on. I feel less "shlumpy". People see that I have this confidence and when I'm presenting my children in shidduchim I want people to think, "Wow, the mom is confident and self-assured, perhaps her children are the same way."
It's not about WHAT I'm wearing but HOW it makes me feel and present myself |
It’s interesting that you mention confidence because most of the people that I know who are confident and self assured enough to wear a snood to the grocery are way more confident than the people who are terrified to.
I’m not voting yea or nay but honestly think it takes more confidence and self assuredness to go out in a snood than in a shaitel
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amother
Mintgreen
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:51 pm
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I was in gourmet glatt in Lakewood today. There were people in snoods. You won’t be the only one.
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amother
Blushpink
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:51 pm
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I see plenty of people shopping in snoods. I do it myself sometimes and never had anyone look at me twice. Imamother exaggerates.
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amother
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:52 pm
I'm not saying I would nix a match because a mother walks around in a snood, but it's definitely a certain type.
Sorry. It doesnt look put together. Sure we all need to once in awhile run out and we don't put on a wig. but people who show up to appointments or are constantly shopping in a snood, even clothing stores? What's up with that?
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:59 pm
Sorry, idk about shidduchim, but it does seem a little socially off to me for people to walk around in a snood
As frum people we don’t have the “luxury” of looking chic in casual clothing
I would almost never go anywhere, even on a walk on shabbos afternoon, in a snood
(I even gave birth to my oldest two kids in a wig)
I do find that I carry myself and act differently when I am dressed well than when I am dressed shlumpy
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amother
Yolk
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:01 pm
| amother Beige wrote: | I'm not saying I would nix a match because a mother walks around in a snood, but it's definitely a certain type.
Sorry. It doesnt look put together. Sure we all need to once in awhile run out and we don't put on a wig. but people who show up to appointments or are constantly shopping in a snood, even clothing stores? What's up with that? |
Judgemental much? 
I know people who specifically shop in a snood because it's easier to try stuff on.
Anyone who doesn't want to be meshadech with my children because I shop in a snood sometimes (often?) is very likely a family I wouldn't want my children to be part of anyway.
But I live in lakewood and shop in a snood. And I'm not usually the only one. (Minority? Yes. But not only)
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amother
Clear
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:02 pm
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Are these replies real or joking? I seriously can't tell...
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amother
Chambray
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:03 pm
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I run around in a snood especially in the rain. I get headaches from a sheital and if it’s a busy shopping day I wear a snood. I find it easier to try on clothes in a snood
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amother
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:10 pm
| amother Copper wrote: | Sorry, idk about shidduchim, but it does seem a little socially off to me for people to walk around in a snood
As frum people we don’t have the “luxury” of looking chic in casual clothing
I would almost never go anywhere, even on a walk on shabbos afternoon, in a snood
(I even gave birth to my oldest two kids in a wig)
I do find that I carry myself and act differently when I am dressed well than when I am dressed shlumpy |
I agree that maybe the chenille snoods look a bit shlumpy. But the gorgeous prettied kerchiefs do not. I have tons in different colors and designs and I think they are so pretty and look so put together when they coordinate with my clothes.
I have ones special for Shabbos and I definitely wear those outside on Shabbos afternoon and when I walk my kids to friends.
I actually think they look nicer than a wig that isn't freshly washed and set.
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AllThings
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:11 pm
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There are times I'll try to put a sheitel on but I 100% also go out in a snood. Usually, more errands where I'm a random customer (like grocery store or post office drop-off) or appointments where I don't want to worry about messing up my sheitel (dentist etc). Clothing store I specifically don't wear a sheitel cuz who wants to keep pulling things over it?
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amother
Watermelon
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:19 pm
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I’m a Lakewood girl. Grew up here, lived here all my life. I have extreme sensory issues. I don’t wear a wig unless I absolutely must. I don’t always wear makeup cuz I don’t like how it feels on my skin. I even wear sweatshirts sometimes.
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Iymnok
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Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:22 pm
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Do you mean a snood or a scarf, pretied or not?
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