Will walking around in a snood effect my kids shidduchim?

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:31 pm

We are moving to Lakewood from OOT. Where we come from it's perfectly acceptable to walk around in a snood, go shopping in one and etc....

I heard in Lakewood its not like that and people wear it anytime they go anywhere. I hate wearing a sheital and just wear one to work and to appointments sometimes. Otherwise I go everywhere in a snood.

Is it true that in Lakewood it's a "must"? And by "must" I mean will people look differently at our family by shidduchim because of it? Will my kids be made fun of? Or this an exaggeration?

Does this depend at all on the neighborhood we live in?

(Im asking this question sincerely)

amother

Cyan

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:34 pm

I’m also from OOT and I do it. Some people probably do think I’m a little off. But I just can’t do it all the time, I just tell myself that I probably don’t want to do a shidduch with those people anyway, I’m different in many ways from them.

amother

Daisy

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:45 pm

Honestly, I felt the same way a few years ago when my kid's entered shidduchim. Like, why would I want someone who wouldn't be ok with me in a Snood when I go shopping?
But, somewhere along the way my feelings changed...it's not because of whether what's right or wrong....I feel in a sheitel I exude a level of confidence that I don't have in a Snood. I'm more apt to put makeup on. I feel less "shlumpy". People see that I have this confidence and when I'm presenting my children in shidduchim I want people to think, "Wow, the mom is confident and self-assured, perhaps her children are the same way."

It's not about WHAT I'm wearing but HOW it makes me feel and present myself

amother

NeonBlue

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:50 pm

amother Daisy wrote:

It’s interesting that you mention confidence because most of the people that I know who are confident and self assured enough to wear a snood to the grocery are way more confident than the people who are terrified to.

I’m not voting yea or nay but honestly think it takes more confidence and self assuredness to go out in a snood than in a shaitel

amother

Beige ↓

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:52 pm

I'm not saying I would nix a match because a mother walks around in a snood, but it's definitely a certain type.

Sorry. It doesnt look put together. Sure we all need to once in awhile run out and we don't put on a wig. but people who show up to appointments or are constantly shopping in a snood, even clothing stores? What's up with that?

amother

Copper

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 4:59 pm

Sorry, idk about shidduchim, but it does seem a little socially off to me for people to walk around in a snood
As frum people we don’t have the “luxury” of looking chic in casual clothing
I would almost never go anywhere, even on a walk on shabbos afternoon, in a snood
(I even gave birth to my oldest two kids in a wig)
I do find that I carry myself and act differently when I am dressed well than when I am dressed shlumpy

amother

Yolk

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:01 pm

amother Beige wrote:

Judgemental much? Wink

I know people who specifically shop in a snood because it's easier to try stuff on.

Anyone who doesn't want to be meshadech with my children because I shop in a snood sometimes (often?) is very likely a family I wouldn't want my children to be part of anyway.

But I live in lakewood and shop in a snood. And I'm not usually the only one. (Minority? Yes. But not only)

amother

Whitesmoke ↓

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:04 pm

amother Beige wrote:

Firstly, I look very put together in snoods. I don't wear the chenille snoods. I wear the pretieds with the long "tails" and I match it to that I'm wearing. I wear gorgeous makeup and earrings and I think I look pretty Smile

As far as clothing stores, I b'davka wear a snood because I can't try on clothes when I'm wearing a wig. It doesn't work to pull things on and off over my head when I'm wearing a wig. When I wear a snood I just slip the snood off in the dressing room when I'm changing.

I'm young and my kids aren't in shidduchim and my MIL always warns me that when my kids are in shidduchim I'm gonna have to wear a wig. And I'm like, nope! If someone says no to my dc because I wear a snood then they are not for us.
I actually think my MIL is really insecure and always worried what other people think. I'm super confident and couldn't care less

amother

Tulip ↓

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:06 pm

I'm curious if any of the posters who say they won't do a shidduch with a family that the mother wears a snood, actually have children in shidduchim.

I suspect not; their priorities might shift a bit once they actually have children in shidduchim, is my opinion Wink

amother

↑ Whitesmoke

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:10 pm

amother Copper wrote:

I agree that maybe the chenille snoods look a bit shlumpy. But the gorgeous prettied kerchiefs do not. I have tons in different colors and designs and I think they are so pretty and look so put together when they coordinate with my clothes.
I have ones special for Shabbos and I definitely wear those outside on Shabbos afternoon and when I walk my kids to friends.
I actually think they look nicer than a wig that isn't freshly washed and set.

AllThings

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:11 pm

There are times I'll try to put a sheitel on but I 100% also go out in a snood. Usually, more errands where I'm a random customer (like grocery store or post office drop-off) or appointments where I don't want to worry about messing up my sheitel (dentist etc). Clothing store I specifically don't wear a sheitel cuz who wants to keep pulling things over it?

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:19 pm

I’m a Lakewood girl. Grew up here, lived here all my life. I have extreme sensory issues. I don’t wear a wig unless I absolutely must. I don’t always wear makeup cuz I don’t like how it feels on my skin. I even wear sweatshirts sometimes.