Hungry for attention!

mimivan ↓

Mon, Jul 21 2008, 10:15 pm

So I've been fed up with my almost 5 year old and almost 2 year old fighting. One day, they were fighting over a package of frozen ground beef. Another time, it was a pair of dirty socks. I soon realized, they are not fighting over these things but over my attention. I have been so preoccupied with getting things ready for birth that I have been multi-tasking all the time and not giving them any undivided attention.

So yesterday I tried an experiment: Cook early. Leave the dishes. Iron later. Sit and give the kids undivided attention.

Well, they weren't fighting so much, but as soon as I had to leave the room, yes, the flames of conflict arose, and as soon as I came back "What's wrong you two?" Well, I didn't do anything but Yossie....etc...

Okay, so more undivided attention. Then came time to daven mincha. "children, I need to daven." So I was in the middle of Amidah, and the older one comes up and hugs my legs. I was at Modim, and I was thinking (thank you Hashem for such a sweet boy...I'll give him a hug after davening)

The younger one saw the affection wasn't working so he tried a different tactic to get my attenion. Right when I was at "oseh shalom" the two year old ran up and bit me on the behind! embarrassed

It was more like "OW say shalom!"

I didn't know whether to laugh or to be furious...!
(and when I finished I dealt with both situations)

anonymom ↓

Tue, Jul 22 2008, 3:47 am

My kids are around the same age. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I never daven Sad

I enjoyed reading your story and was almost lol. Us mothers are so isolated in our own homes sometimes. It is so nice to share stories like this.

I have heard that you are not allowed to bench holding a child. How else are you supposed to bench?
With the kid crying and pulling on you? This has been one halacha I have trouble with. I assume it's better to bench holding a kid than not to bench at all.

So last night, I was benching after supper with my 5 year old. My almost 2 year old gets on my lap and starts grabbing and throwing the bencher. OK. Then the 5 year old, still benching, gets on my lap. The 2 year old says "no, I want this side" They settle down a little. I feel like the most blessed woman in the world. I am benching out loud with my kids for their chinuch, and at the same time I am thanking Hashem for having these precious kids. I think the fact that he was on my lap made the experience of benching a very positive one for him. If I had refused to let them sit on my lap, the 2 year old would be either crying, wrecking something or who knows what. If I had let him on but not the older one, the older one would be jealous and the whole experience would have been negative or he would not have had the same patience to bench the whole thing like he did.

So did I do what Hashem wants?

How do you get children to bench?

Purple Hug Bunny

Tue, Jul 22 2008, 11:47 pm

yeah, I think it is a halacha, but I think that you're not allowed to hold the child, if he just sits on your lap, and ur not holding him, I think it's ok, but don't quote me.

and I know the situation is far from funny, but I had to lol when you said Ow say shalom.

↑ mimivan ↓

Wed, Jul 23 2008, 2:34 am

Purple Rox! wrote:

Of course I thought it was funny...otherwise I wouldn't have posted it under cute stories LOL

(he is not a compulsive biter and he did NOT bite hard...otherwise, I would not have thought it was so cute) but he did get time out!

I heard you are not supposed to hold anything but a siddur when davening shemoneh esrei, but I haven't heard about bircat hamazon.

I think it is a shayla if one can daven with a baby in a carrier...I davened all the time with my baby in a carrier...I thought it was different from holding him..but maybe that was not okay.. embarrassed

.I'll have to ask my rav.

↑ mimivan

Wed, Jul 23 2008, 2:36 am

GAMZu wrote:

Quote:

One day, they were fighting over a package of frozen ground beef. Another time, it was a pair of dirty socks.

You gotta admit, that is just Rolling Laughter

Yes, they were arguing who the dirty socks in question belonged to Rolling Eyes

Although sometimes I have to look closely to be sure..

they were fighting over frozen beef because the older one fell and I didnt have an ice pack to put on his head (I used a package of frozen beef)...and the younger one kept grabbing it away and screaming LOL