Did not have what to eat for supper today

amother

Honey

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:03 pm

amother Firethorn wrote:

I am really struggling ($120 to my name until I get paid in a few days), but I dont want you to go to bed hungry. Can I zelle you $10 to buy yourself 2 slices of pizza and a drink?

Wow. Mi kemacha yisrael. Your reply is making me cry. I have literal tears in my eyes. In the zchus of your chessed- may HaShem show His chessed to the hostages and miraculously free them tonight.

amother

Hawthorn

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:08 pm

so sorry for you!! agree that this is a bit intense for middle class. It sounds very very extreme. I really hope things work out for you soon!
Just some tips... maybe when you get paid put away a few dollars a week for times like this. Or stock up on pasta and basics when it goes on sale.
good luck!

amother

Firethorn

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:10 pm

amother Honey wrote:

Wow. Mi kemacha yisrael. Your reply is making me cry. I have literal tears in my eyes. In the zchus of your chessed- may HaShem show His chessed to the hostages and miraculously free them tonight.

wow, amen. may they be released tonight!

amother

Honey

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:11 pm

Dear OP,
I understand how you feel about asking for help. I was once very wealthy and used to give a lot of tzeddaka. Thousands and thousands. But unfortunately for a really long time I had to and continue to have to ask for help. Sometimes I feel like I can’t. So then I speak to HaShem. But sometimes, HaShem in His kindness makes it easier for me to ask and I have learned to accept help. I am not ashamed. I don’t ask our right but I’m open with my financial struggles and I also don’t spend on what I don’t need. But my knee jerk reaction is to feel shame for being poor. It’s not a comfortable feeling…..but then I remind myself that the world is round. HaShem created the mitzvah of tzeddaka and chessed so that there will always be givers and takers.

By having to receive, I’m actually giving the giver an opportunity to do a mitzah and chessed. You didn’t do anything illegal. You didn’t hurt someone. You have nothing to be as shamed of. It’s really really really hard to support a frum family these days. May you and I be financial givers one day very soon. Until then, hold your head high- you’re giving too. Not money but chessed opportunities. You’re giving the giver something money can’t really buy… something that will stand by them after 120- zchusim. It’s priceless. So please reach out to someone or if anyone on here offered to zelle- then just accept it. You’re helping them MORE than they’re helping you. People want zchusim.

amother

Peony

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:27 pm

Op I'm sorry you had a tough day, must be hard.
Please take my comments the right way, I'm not trying to hurt you especially not after today.
I do not believe that in 2024 in our frum communities, it's possible to go to sleep hungry.
Tuition should not be paid before food!!
You can't be too proud to accept help if you need it, it doesn't matter what's your husband's position in the community.
You don't have a single working cc? You can buy a pretty decent supper for less than $20!!!
(I'm pretty sure that if I counted all the loose change in my house and my car, I could find $20 in coins!!)

amother

Holly

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:38 pm

My bare minimum expenses are two hundred dollars more than our income each month. I lived so tightly and with such stress until I heard of a site called Prolific where you can complete surveys and join studies for payment. It doesn’t pay that well but I do make several hundred dollars most months which is enough to cover the remainder of our expenses and even have a bit extra.

Op, I really recommend you sign up for the site. They put some people on a wait list for months or years, but others get in after a day or two.

Here’s the link - https://www.prolific.com/participants

They ask for a copy of your drivers license to verify your identity as part of the sign up process btw. I was fine with sharing it and haven’t had any issues since, they use a third party company to verify that you are the person you say you are so that their research results are accurate when you participate in studies.

Just sharing because I know how awful it feels to need to take money from people, even if you know it’s the right thing to do. I am so grateful to Hashem for leading me to this site so that I don’t need tzedakah currently.

amother

Blue

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:49 pm

Hi OP.
Hope things look up for you real soon.
I have a spare email address that I use for things I wish to remain anonymous for.
Who don't you do that and link it to your PayPal?
No one will ever know!
And you'll make some people in this space happy because they want to do sometime to spread positivity in this world- you would just happen to benefit from it.
Hard for me to go to sleep now thinking you're going to sleep hungry.....
Hashem should help that this will pass very quickly and may you never feel in need ever again!
I admire your resilience .

amother OP wrote:

thank you all for your validation
I am logging out for tonight....
praying for some things to change by tmro
and if they don't I might reach out to some caring ladies over here....

freedomseek

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:53 pm

Just saying that there’s a mitzva to pay your workers on the day of service
It would be so beautiful if we all strive to do it
It’s so frustrating to know that you worked, deserve the pay and yet need to beg or wait for it
(Especially when needed so desperately!!)

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 12:11 am

When I worked in bankruptcy law, I saw many companies that were going through tough times. The companies needed to prioritize which bills to pay. So it’s the same way in a household. There are so many monthly expenses - mortgage, tuition, gas, utilities, food, clothing, household supplies like toilet paper, and so on. My companies made lists of priorities and it’s not like they didn’t pay, it’s that they would delay, ask for longer payment terms, and choose what was absolutely necessary to “keep the lights on” and what they could play around with. You need to make sure there is food in your house. Could be inexpensive simple food. But it needs to be there. Also good if you can pay your mortgage and not be thrown out of your house. Then after that you can think - can I delay buying the kids clothes for a little while. Can I get hand me downs. Maybe limit car rides to save gas. Make a backyard camp. And so on.

amother

Seablue

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 1:46 am

I’m not sure who posted this but somebody said waiting for a miracle. This is the miracle where he post on a place like this and people send money. We have struggled many times in the past. And yes, I reached out to my parents and in-laws who helped us we could put food on our table. Yes, it was hard, but it was much more important for me to be able to take care of my kids. They knew that we were trying our best. We were not being lazy. And now I have so much more sensitivity to people that are struggling because I know it’s not because of laziness just because that’s what God had planned for that time. And it’s our responsibility to help.

amother

Starflower

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 3:15 am

I posted before that I get TS. I understand the fear of not having food. You said you weren't in the locations mentioned. If you are in Los Angeles (Pico or La Brea, I cant make it to the valley myself) please make an anon email address or ask Yael to be a go between. I have some extra bags of beans/rice/barley I can spare. BH we have what to spare.
And you would never know who gets from TS. Many get credit on their grocery order, get a box delivered that looks like a western kosher delivery, pick up boxes...

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 3:25 am

amother Holly wrote:

Can I ask how much time you spend on this a month? Maybe you can PM me?

notshanarishona

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 4:28 am

Taking food from food pantries is really not that embarrassing , there are ways you can do it in a drive through or if you are embarrassed to be seen by friends go to a non Jewish one. They typically have a lot of produce and grain products that are kosher . Pride shouldn’t come before feeding your kids, whether it’s in the form of a loan, food pantry, help from family, or random tzedakah. Sometimes you need to lower your standards and prioritize. Your husband doesn’t have to know if he is opposed.

doodlesmom

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:08 am

Op in such a time maybe it’s worth it to borrow a bottle of milk or pack of pasta from the neighbor.
It doesn’t need to sound like a financial issue, rather that you can’t get to the grocery right now….
Or even ask if they can lend you $20 cash….and go to the grocery.
Our neighbors are always lending and sharing.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:27 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

If you’re in Baltimore I can make you food for Shabbos. I’d invite you for a meal but it’s so hot. I also think there are food box pickups today or tomorrow. Please let your sisters help!!

Covid food boxes??

workingmom789

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:06 am

No one mentioned my community yet so I’m going to mention just in case it can help OP out. I’m in Detroit. I can gladly leave a box of staples and chicken for shabbos in a random location. I’ll never know who you are…

it would be such a zchus for me in a time that I’m looking for zchuyos!

Hashem have mercy on this beautiful kahal trying to help another woman! Mi kaamcha yisroel!